Turns out it was the week after that. The first episode of Finding My Audience with Allen Strickland Williams is live wherever you listen to podcasts. Help me figure out what the heck this show is. There's a Patreon if you like me and making bad investments. I love you.
Lemme tell ya right now why New York will never be able to hold a candle to the fever dream of Los Angeles. It's because nowhere in the tri-state area is there a fast casual chicken restaurant with a secret recipe for garlic sauce so good it drove its owner murderously insane.
"My own industry thinks I'm a savage."
#TheSopranos
star Drea de Matteo says she joined OnlyFans after losing out on work for refusing to get COVID-19 vaccine:
me when I'm completely sober: you'll never catch me on the dirty floor, crawling around like some sort of animal, no sir! I will be standing up or sitting on furniture thank you
me after I've had one little sip of alcohol: ah1! my friend the ground...it's been too long old chap
Counterpoint: Things like tin can submarine, Trump getting COVID, big boat stuck, and Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls are the last vestiges of the monoculture and they are the only time social media is ever truly beautiful.
The reaction to the Titan submarine has shown that like a digital Tower of Babel, social media is evolving into an increasingly ugly and chaotic space — a real-time repository for our worst impulses and ill-formed thoughts that should be kept to ourselves.
#BREAKING
:
STOLEN MONKEYS:
The
@DallasZoo
says someone has now stolen two our emperor tamarin monkeys.
@DallasPD
has opened an investigation.
Just this month, a clouded leopard somehow escaped and a vulture died of mysterious circumstances.
It's pretty crazy that Michael Keaton is both Batman and Beetlejuice. That is until you learn Keaton started as a stand-up. And in stand-up the two genders are Batman and Beetlejuice.
We gotta go back to studios being run by folks like Robert Evans—products of show business and true movie lovers who will eventually be busted for trafficking cocaine.
She's the one. Age is a number. Linda is the way. The vision. The light. The warmth when you're cold. A morsel when you're starving. I like a Grateful Dead song because she swayed to it in a show that lasted for one season 100 years ago. Immense power. I want her to destroy me.
Joshua Dean, one of the first whistleblowers to allege Spirit AeroSystems leadership had ignored manufacturing defects on the Boeing 737 MAX, died Tuesday after a sudden illness. He was 45.
Hey, let's not forget that Diamond from Diamond and Silk was a real person. She was a daughter, a mother, a sister, and above all, she was a fucking idiot.
@_RobertSchultz
when I was young and still believed in Things Like Love I was maybe a month or two into dating and we started going to couples therapy and I was so naive I didn't realize that seeing Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale walking out as we walked in was an omen that it was already over
I'm pissed off, sick but not covid sick so WHO CARES, got mold in my apartment, can't sleep to save my life, have fully given up on ever getting the writing job I started stand-up comedy in the first place to get, and the only man who can help me right now is named PERRY MASON.
In Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" he says "the choir of children sing their song, they practiced all year long" and then these jokers just sing "ding dong" over and over. Did we really need all year for that?
Executives were expecting a deluge of pitches after the writers strike, but that didn’t arrive: "If come January and February, it’s still crickets, then we have a problem"
say what you want about sobriety and i'm sure one day I'll have to do it but it is pretty awesome how everything can be just an absolute insane shit show with no end in sight or sign of getting better and you can have one little sip of alcohol and your mind is like "we got this"
It’s so over for alcohol. Study after study the last few years finding it has no real health benefits and even a small amount is worse for you than not drinking any.
One of the best parts of The Social Network is in a deposition scene when Rashida Jones is like, "The site got twenty-two hundred hits in one night?" and Zucky goes "Twenty-two thousand." And then she turns her head, takes a beat, and goes, "Wow." Sublime.
lol just absolutely laughing at the fact that my half hour came out and I was the tightest I've ever been as a comic and instead of touring off it the world shut down so now i'm googling how to do a 45 minute set. comedy is hilarious. dead crow comedy two shows tonight!!!
Anytime I hear someone talking about being shadowbanned I'm like are you sure you're not just a loser? Because that sounds like something a loser would say.
Y'all know 'bout Small Towns and what they value. Community. Love of your fellow man. Having each other's backs. The cops covering up vehicular manslaughter because the driver was the son of the guy who owned the most land in the county. Ritualistic murders. Small Town stuff!
not saying comedy is in a "boom" per se but it is a tad suspect when you come across a comic with hundreds of thousands of followers across four apps connected to seven different podcast networks which each have a deal with one of our five megacorporations but they got zero jokes
Los Angeles (a town which is at its best when you're not working) is about to realize its full potential. New York will be cooked in less than a fortnight. I hear they're gonna move the White House.
I've never been staffed in a writers' room, but I know it has nothing to do with my race. It's because I'm a really cool guy. No one talks about the nerd bias in the entertainment industry. That changes today.