The Ant Hill Mob
@Tomanthillmob
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732
Following
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Media
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Gig updates and crap jokes here. Midlands based band playing Ska, Mod, New Wave, Northern Soul, and much more 🎉 🍺 🎩 DM for enquiries. FWAW #wwfc
United Kingdom
Joined July 2019
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@fesshole
They found a load of deepfake of a famous pop star on my old laptop I took for repair.
Was it a Dell?
No, Taylor Swift
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@fesshole
My wife and her mates ordered a naked butler for her hen do, only to find his left arm was missing!
Served them right
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@fesshole
That’s when you start promising the world to a brand new girl she don’t even know ya.
Next thing you’re wearing her Rolex
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@NoContextBrits
She got it in her eyes, it could have been dangerous. Though they do say Heinz sight is a wonderful thing
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@fesshole
On the 5th day of waitressing, I found in bed with me..
5 best men..
4 desperate Ushers
3 sneaky vicars
2 bridesmaids
And a threesome that never came off
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@fesshole
Thank you Sir, but the question was really looking for achievements related to the role you’re applying for
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@fesshole
I had to have a mole removed from my arse.
The NHS were brilliant but the RSPCA fined me £1000
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@fesshole
I politely asked my girl if we could try the other hole. BIG MISTAKE!
She was furious and said that we weren’t ready for kids yet
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@fesshole
My missus used to hate me going to the pub every night, so eventually I packed it in and feel so much better now I can drink in peace.
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@fesshole
My mate did a runner from one when it slowed down by some woodland near to his house. He ruined all of his clothing running through the woods.
We’d already paid his taxi
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@anon_opin
I hate these sorts of opinions.
My friend is 39 and his girlfriend is 21. They went for a meal together last week and the whole restaurant gave them funny looks and even abuse at times.
It totally ruined their 10 year anniversary
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Get back to Burton after the Fulham game and first thing we see at the station was this dude! FWAW!
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@fesshole
We had a mate who was similar, so we did this thing where we just don’t speak to him anymore 👍
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@CricketPleb
@fesshole
I looked up their address and handed in the purse.
Later I set fire to their house with them inside.
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@fesshole
Me and the wife always use Vaseline for sex.
We smear it all over the bedroom door knob so the kids can’t get in
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@fesshole
I would politely suggest that enough time has passed for you to post this without the need for anonymity.
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@anon_opin
I love handjobs but can’t stand blowjobs. Might be different if I had a partner I suppose
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@fesshole
I heard a story about a guy sucking a girl’s nipple and some milk came out.
He looked in the morning and realised she had a boil.
Enjoy your Sunday lunches
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@fesshole
That was ‘sex on the sofa’ by Ghost of my Grandma, lifted from their ‘Mysterious Handprint’ Album.
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@fesshole
Few questions
Could he tie them in a knot?
Could he tie them in a bow?
Did he get a funny feeling when he slapped them on the ceiling?
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@fesshole
Not forgiven.
You can’t just confess on here and expect to wrigley out of that one
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@sodiumlights
@ironmikeescobar
@WattoMcWatto
@fesshole
I think you’ll find most end up in purrrgatory
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@fesshole
Sounds like you have a bit of a problem here mate. I’d advise trying to pack it in altogether, so you can drink in peace
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@talkSPORT
They are the Canaries. The other championship teams send them up first to make sure it’s safe
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@fesshole
You may think you’re doing good, but my poor friend Fred Scomps is getting inundated with abusive emails now
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@fesshole
Save your money and tempt her in to bed with a trail of custard creams going up the stairs
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@fesshole
Is this good for you?
“No, not really. You?”
“No”
“Well let’s just get through it, remember the towels”
“Yeh, the towels”
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@fesshole
I’ve done the same but with Churchill..
was alright to begin with, but my head now hurts from all the nodding and I’m inundated with work saying Ohhhhh Yes to everything
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@fesshole
School was like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how we kept from going under
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@fesshole
That was ‘not now John’ by The Inappropriates, from their upcoming album ‘leave this one alone’.
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@fesshole
Just make sure you take the Aston Villa shirt off to avoid embarrassing your family
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@fasc1nate
Not very effective- I’ve been watching this for an hour and he still ain’t had a bite yet.
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@fesshole
If it made 1 person just consider their choices for the benefit of their baby then it was well worth it.
Unfortunately it didn’t
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