I make sure I always apply Vaseline to my lips when my wife is around, so she doesn't think it is all used for wanking when she sees the empty tub, even though it is 99% used for wanking.

@CaptainFluffkin @fesshole In all honestly the bedroom doesn’t have a door knob. The wife and kids are also fictitious. Though you’re welcome ☺️

@tomsurfinllama @fesshole

@tomsurfinllama @fesshole 😂😂😂 Fucking brilliant

@tomsurfinllama @fesshole Me and the wife have sex 😅😅😅😅 That's where I knew this wasn't a serious tweet

@rumpolestiltskn @fesshole Jethro I think, though it’s probably as old as doors that joke