Nick Beef
@TheGigconomist
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wildly unpredictable writer and adventurer. Accept no imitations. avi by me Associate professor at The Writing College #amwriting #horror
Atlantic City, NJ
Joined September 2014
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#EURo2024
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Nintendo
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LOUIS VUITTON X BAMBAM
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Switch
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ニンダイ
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Arda Güler
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Georgia
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Zelda
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Ronaldo
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Portugal
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STRAY KIDS ATE TRAILER
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Luigi
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Metroid Prime 4
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#BizimÇocuklar
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Eurocopa
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#TURvGEO
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Noam Chomsky
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Juneteenth
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Mert
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Kerem
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Czech
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Samet
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Justin Timberlake
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البرتغال
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Leao
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Nubank
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تركيا
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#PORCZE
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Montella
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Barış Alper
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Portekiz
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Jota
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Vitinha
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Bruno Fernandes
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Gürcistan'ı 3-1
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Cancelo
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República Checa
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Pinned Tweet
Ah, the mighty innovations of capitalism...
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I'm sorry, gentlemen. You were born to do what to whom?
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Okay Cuba, whatchu got?
Cuba: "we're anti-imperialist. We have a vaccine for lung cancer. We cured diabetic ulcers. Our life expectancy is amazing."
Okay USA, whatchu got?
USA: " we have like, 50 different kinds of blenders to choose from!"
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@POTUS
"Google it", holy fuck, man.
That's it then? No more information from the white house? Just Google it?
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@earthfart
If I ever see a group of diminutive, octogenarian bikers with homoerotic vests out in my travels, I promise you I'll ask them about it. Okay, Bubbles?
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@humansEvolve
@ANTIFA_lawyer
The lady doesn't understand the Postmates five minute rule and blasted her driver on Twitter, and is now being sued
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His divorced dad meal experiment went sideways so he literally blamed Mexicans
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@mustachetoilet
Welp I'm gonna start my lucrative Fiverr career today, Dag. You let me know how "Air Traffic Controller" works out.
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@timotheeology
@skullcrshr
Believe it or not, winning actually counts. That's why your confederate money doesn't work at retailers
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#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos
You can take the $800 for another flight, or risk it all for our big surprise...
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@dumbandawful
Me: I work for several gig companies at once, was homeless 6 months ago, and live in an apartment with rats.
You:
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@AssBoss80085
Did he have to quit D1 football because there weren't enough materials on earth to make a helmet for him?
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@PunishedLobster
Eventually, Linus exposed himself to teenagers at a bowling alley in Colorado before marrying Lauren Bobert.
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@humansEvolve
@ANTIFA_lawyer
To be clear, if you don't answer the phone when your driver calls, you have five minutes to call them back.
Or, you pay for the meal they now get to eat
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There is nothing funnier to me than Yung Gravy bagging the wife of the "We Build the Wall" guy while he's in jail.
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So here's the most important thing, before I go back to bed.
If the CEO of McDonald's tasers his balls to death, that mcdonald's store will still generate 480 dollars of income per hour while they appoint a new CEO.
If all the employees walk out and lock the door, it's $0/hr
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So, this is why there isn't a cult of personality here.
Because Bernie Sanders is wrong in not calling for the dismantling of ICE.
Period.
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@SteveSayersOne
@MrPostsGood
@StandComedyClub
@joannaccherry
So you made a meme to decry memes, put your handle and... the date you wrote it up, so that no one would steal this work of art, and you did it because everyone who isn't you is the problem?
Sounds like someone who would pay $8, sorry, $11 to use a free website
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@MoriQuamFoedare
@TRHLofficial
Did you think they were mad at a literal machine, like a computer or shit?
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@TakeSpecialist
@humansEvolve
@ANTIFA_lawyer
Sometimes.
Sometimes they forgot to change the address from their last delivery if they ordered from somewhere else.
Most times it's usually they don't answer the phone.
But 9 times out of 10, wings
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@ericacbarnett
You: "I know what will drive traffic to my twitter, if I equate a 40 year old essay to an actual sexual assault"
Rational thinkers: "um, this isn't the same thing"
You: "BERNIE BROS! MISOGYNISTS!"
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@GenXerAlex
That's the problem. "Hard work" to them means fleecing people on our economic level.
Fuck us for not wanting to get over on each other, right? We deserve to suffer I suppose.
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There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see
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@HairCommand
@ohtazer
"someone rear ended my tin can Ipad holder with a golf cart motor and it crumpled like an accordion but 10/10 would buy again."
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Skill issue. Also you are not welcome in The Mustache Club. Revoked.
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@JiveXXL
@miniondeathcult
Pretty sure they would've just wrote fuck the police. This could be anything.
For The Pope
Fight the Popsicle.
Literally, anything.
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@SpillaneTPostre
I think the underlining message of "don't shove an amiibo of Bowser up your ass, even if you're Bowser" is a pretty good one
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#TrueFairyTaleEndings
The child yelled that the Emperor wasn't wearing clothes, the Emperor screamed "fake news!" The child was deported.
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You built strip malls for the convenience...
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@JoshuaPotash
"The car drove itself to the impound lot and now I'm stranded, but best CAR I EVER drove 10/10!"
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By the way, I'm past the 100 day mark. I haven't harmed the self in over 100 days.
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@OregonMapGuy
I'm concerned that you let it get to Hitler/Mussolini and don't seem to know that Mussolini dropped chemical weapons on Ethiopian civilians.
But I'm not surprised.
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The one bedroom apartment we had in 2009 has more than doubled in rent per month, Bill.
I promise you that the amount of amenities in said apartment have not.
I don't think it's wrong to not want to be homeless.
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1. They don't look like that when you get them.
2. You have to build them yourself. Good luck!
3. You still need your name on a deed for land.
4. With the deed comes making sure you comply with zoning ordinance and state laws.
5. So you've built it! Do you understand plumbing
Hear me out. Everybody is complaining about bills now a days, but Amazon has a mini house for 12k and if you do a payment plan it’s $474 a month 🤷🏾♀️ just saying
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💅
EXCLUSIVE: Joe Biden campaign launches first-ever battle rap ad to encourage people to vote 🗣️
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@caryg83
@johncardillo
@Ocasio2018
She was an intern for Ted Kennedy and did so well in a STEM fair she has an asteroid named after her.
John is a cop whose deduction skills are so bad he couldn't figure out her Wikipedia page.
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@SLCSocialist
See this is better than Elon's crypto losses because we get a nice visual stimulation out of this.
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@DougHageman
@mustachetoilet
Brb gonna go buy a crane to drive and undercut the licensed crane ops
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@Timcast
Yeah man that's it the secret cabal is keeping your middle aged vanity project from entering the mainstream. You figured it out.
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Amy Schumer made fun of a black comic (for being black and made fun of him for having the disease that would go on to kill him) and then stole his material after he died.
Like, not history's greatest monster, but certainly in the discussion.
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@leonardpierce
"we don't know whose bullet killed who yet" is a statement that doesn't fill me with confidence, no.
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If Joe Crowley gets one vote in November, ONE, regardless of outcome, I NEVER want to see you clowns scream "JILL STEIN!" Ever again.
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So, guess what your boy was involved in...
BREAKING: At least three people have been shot at Delaware's Christiana Mall. Initial reports are that the shooter is a teenager and still remains at large.
The mall is currently shut down and a reunification site has been set up at the north entrance. Mall Road is closed and
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@Nick_x7
Please say the same thing but reply with "Henry Kissinger" and show him and Hillary together.
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F**k yo couch.
Seriously, f**k yo couch.
I'm buying insulin off craigslist tomorrow for someone.
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@SeriousBoy69
@RSewell1980
@type_worm
@RiotEconomist
Getting back to my point.
Did your job put a banner outside advertising they were hiring for YOUR specific age bracket?
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