Mark Serrels
@Serrels
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Following
2,588
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3,504
Statuses
94,517
CHOICE guy. Daddy blogger. My food takes are good.
Sydney, Australia
Joined April 2009
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Dunno if this shit is the worst thing about living in Australia, but it’s definitely in the top 5.
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Some gyms have the speed route set-up. I dare you to try it. It's actually hard to get up the route period, let alone under 7 seconds.
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This tweet went pretty wild. Instead of checking out my non-existent Soundcloud you should follow the climber!
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When England kicked the spare ball on the field to waste time I said "fuck" in front of my kids for the first time. Incredible 10 year streak ruined.
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Hello friends. It's 2018 and they're re-opening a coal-fueled power plant to mine Bitcoin. Everything is fine here. Everything is good. via
@CNET
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Over 10 years ago THQ started work on a potentially awesome Avengers game the world never got to play. Mismanagement, a knife attack, a Global Financial Crisis, a man hitting a filing cabinet with an umbrella, this is the story of how it was torn apart.
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Imagine. Super Bowl 2020.
Half-time. The lights dim to complete darkness. Silence.
Then.
A lone voice.
"WHEN AH WAKE UP.
"WELL AH NO AHM GONNA BE
"AHM GONNA BE THE MAN WHO WAKES UP NEXT TAE YOU"
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Kylo Ren is the perfect villain for our times: a tantrum throwing, know-it-all standing outside McDonalds screaming for Szechuan sauce.
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People will joke about this (and it is hilarious). But a magazine like Women's Day trying to empower parents to understand games (and manage their kids in a healthy positive way) seems light years from where we were even five years ago.
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"Pass on what you have learned. Strength. Mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters."
Man, how good was The Last Jedi.
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Scientists who developed vaccines in record shattering time, frontline workers who risked their lives during COVID, Jacinda Adern, BLM activists.
This is such a ridiculous, US centric choice.
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The new Black Mirror episode is sick.
here is
@Ninja
singing Old Town Road on national television in an ice cream outfit with backup dancers and a full set on
#TheMaskedSinger
we are reaching peak video games and streamer culture
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When I first started Reynholm Industries, I had only two things in my possession: A dream...and six million pounds.
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I reviewed Halo Infinite and I absolutely loved it.
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I'm still not convinced we can treat Death Stranding as a profound allegory on the human condition when you're chugging Monster Energy to regain stamina.
"For better or worse, there is nothing in this world quite like a Hideo Kojima game."
@serrels
reviewed
@HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN
's enigmatic action game Death Stranding and lost his mind a little bit in the process.
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Just got a call from my kid's school.
"Just calling to let you know your 6YO son has completely coloured himself in with a blue texta."
Legendary.
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@dannolan
100% without question:
A REAL nut... Feels like every bone in your body comes out the head of your dick... Say no more. I'm done. Fall asleep in 2min.
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E3 is a great time to be reminded that America needs to stop with their fucken MONTH/DAY/YEAR bullshit.
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This is probably a bad idea but I wanna share this story with all the Gorbergate stuff going on, just so people can get a sense of how impotent and weird the whole thing is IRL.
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Westworld is a bad show pretending to be good.
If you didn't know,
#Westworld
is back.
@Serrels
, of course, had something to say about it.
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Just to save you time with Mario Odyssey reviews. Most will give it a 10 (or a 9). Someone will give it an 8 and everyone will get angry. 🔥👍
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Bit late to this, but wrote about Cyberpunk: Edgerunners. Completely in love with it. Probably the only show in the last... decade that I have felt the need to rewatch.
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Into The Spider-Verse, the absolute best superhero movie, is on Netflix tomorrow. Watch it and agree with me it is the best superhero movie.
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Maybe things are different now. Maybe a decade of Trump, COVID and terrible Joe Rogan guests has fueled growth in these groups but whenever I feel overwhelmed by the noise of Twitter I remember that little group of weirdos at a kids playground, easting cold sangas in the rain.
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I think this is the new bar for the 'video game review'. It takes the context, the game, critically evaluates it sincerely, avoiding the tropes and language that makes most reviews useless and benign. If you write video game reviews I hope it inspire you.
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The responses to this are wild.
Remember when a group of women (and some men) received endless death threats from hyper organised squads because of "ethics in game journalism"?
Guess that was all bullshit lol
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My wife and her friends, who are the furthest you can imagine from "GAMERZ", play Overcooked every Thursday night. Without fail.
Last night I got home and one of them was screaming "where's my cheese you fucking whores!"
Video games people. Video games.
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Just dropping by to say that the new She-Ra isn't just good because it has good representation and shit. It's actually GOOD good. And I say that as someone who's had to sit through so much garbage with my kids.
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Can't think of a single thing that annoys me more than people pronouncing "Craig" as "Creg".
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Pokemon GO. Overheard tonight in Rhodes, almost too perfect to be real
"Man, I have to ration my balls."
"You have a rash on your balls?"
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Subtitles are good. Always. Even if the movie is in English. Turn them on and never turn them off.
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Sincerely having a blast scrolling through Twitter and everyone losing their shit.
It's like the opposite of doom scrolling...
Congrats Melbourne.
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I know the take thermometer has shifted in a different direction, but only the Rise of Skywalker was truly shit and The Last Jedi is still the best Star Wars movie.
George Lucas' abandoned Sequel Trilogy would've been WAY different from The Force Awakens, Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker.
Here's everything we know about it:
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Unless you make video games for a living, you absolutely do not need to be talking about game engines lol.
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Might become a high school science teacher and open the literal gates of hell.
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Ori and the Will of the Wisps not getting the goddamn respect it deserves in GOTY lists for my liking.
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That Max Holloway might be the best performance in a UFC octagon. That was McGregor vs Alvarez or Silva vs Griffin levels.
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"I'm old and I suck."
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My Gran died last week of a massive heart attack that surprised everyone.
She was a Labour councillor for most of my life. She lived and died in a council house, and refused to own a home because she was a socialist and thought owning her own house would make her a hypocrite.
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Disagree. Kyrgios was always a King, and the hate surrounding him and his actions was always steeped in a healthy amount of implicit racism.
It's a continuing sign of the craziness of 2020 that Nick Kyrgios becoming the sensible grown up in the room of tennis is not more commented on.
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This is not opinion. This is true facts. Thank you.
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Instead of regulating the 100 companies responsible for 70% of emissions you should, personally, kill your dog.
Weighing the environmental impacts of pets, one expert suggested reducing the rate of dog and cat ownership in favor of other animals.
In The Highlight, find other measures dog- and cat-lovers can take to reduce their pets' carbon footprint:
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I remember one guy was very intense like, made a fuss about not looking at me, or talking to me. But most of them just stood there. Just a completely small, weird little group of people.
I left after about 10 minutes.
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I have never tried coffee, should I start or is coffee like a weird curse you can't break?
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They were all exactly what you might expect. 90% dudes. Shy, nervous, socially awkward. I introduced myself to all them. "Hey I'm Serrels from Kotaku". They just sort of stood there in silence in a little circle.
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Although I hate myself for tweeting it, I'd 100% play a Battle Royale version of Halo. I'd probably play it into oblivion. So please don't make it. I have kids to feed.
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Hello everyone, I have a new job at CNET! I'm gonna be running the global CNET Culture team and we're going to... [checks notes] break the internet.
Please enjoy this picture which was conveniently shot in front of a green screen.
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I can't think of a smart way to say this: the Doge thing on Twitter is one of the lamest things I've ever seen.
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Hey everyone, I just came back to NOTIFICATION OVERLOAD so I guess the news is out there.
I am leaving Allure Media after 7 years to join
@CNET
as their Australian Editorial Director. Sad to be leaving such a great team, but so, *so* excited to take on a new challenge.
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For the record I think cancelling Good Game is a bad, short-sighted decision. The show had huge reach. Literally tossing an audience away.
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Into the Spider-verse is one of the best things I've ever seen at the cinema. Jeesssssus wept.
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8YO: "Are you famous? I searched you and there was lots of photos.
Me: "I'm not famous."
[pause]
8YO: "What's with you and Fairy Bread?"
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@Papapishu
If he's the only one it's his responsibility to do the most fucked up shit possible.
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Just sitting here thinking about how Horizon: Zero Dawn was the absolute shit.
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TV and drama: "don't put a gun on stage if it doesn't go off"
Video games: "don't put a dog in your game if you can't fucking pet it"
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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
The Xbox Series S will not run Xbox One X enhanced versions of backwards compatible games, but will instead run Xbox One S versions of Xbox One and Xbox 360 titles.
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Morning! Did you know the Australian Mining Industry funded mining focused video games and placed them in the AU school curriculum because they're desperate to convince kids mining is a-ok!
Here's my story!
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The only thing that matters right now is action on climate change and we voted in a guy who brought a lump of coal to parliament. Our children are doomed.
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@salltweets
You're "not supposed to say" it because it actually doesn't make any fucking sense lmao
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Fall Guys is the perfect metaphor for capitalism, because failure is usually the end result of absolute bullshit circumstances out of your control, like being on the yellow team. But when you succeed you convince yourself YOU DID THIS. You DESERVE THIS. I am a WINNER.
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And the answer of course, was nothing.
The meet-up was at a child's playground. Despite the fact PAX Aus was happening walking distance from the park, there were like 10-12 people there.
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The funniest part of climbing at the Olympics last night was how horny women were for Miho Nonaka.
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Everything is too long.
Movies are too long
TV shows are too long
Video games are too long
Netflix documentaries are too long
YouTube videos are too long
My feature stories are too long
Make everything shorter. Everything. Nothing benefits from being too long.
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I know it's lame to be earnest on Twitter, but the inactivity on climate change in the face of endless extreme weather events is a tough one to swallow. Hard not to spend every waking hour oscillating between anxiety and pure rage.
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I hardly ever post photos of my kids on here because weirdos, but making an exception for this one. My kid is the NSW State Bouldering champ! Stupidly proud. The boy is an animal.
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For the last year I only had cold showers. Not a single goddamn warm shower ever. What did I gain? Pain, misery, waste of goddamn time. What the hell was I thinking?
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Star Wars fans the GOAT at mistaking quality TV with characters they like appearing onscreen.
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