Samantha
@SHeilig954
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"What is a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?"
Los Angeles, CA
Joined April 2012
Me when i delete “Sent from my iPhone” to make the email more formal
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very slightly unnerving after a long weekend to be confronted with all the tabs you left open on your work laptop on friday, when you were a completely different person
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a big part of judaism is being taught not to get on a motorcycle
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“You are beautiful, no matter what they say” thanks … wait, what are they saying?
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Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Vanessa Carlton driving a piano: no
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I’m like the opposite of Joe Rogan bc I’m pro-vax and nobody listens to my podcast
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My brother and I when the doorbell rang if we were left home alone
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Important safety reminder for those going to a corn maze this month
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Would you mind if I grab a photo with you so when you die I can make it about me?
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If you’re looking for “Ass to Mouth,” look no further than Bloomingdale’s! @caseyrosewilson @MsJuneDiane #BlackMonday #ATM
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Favorite White Lotus detail: how little progress Jake Lacy is making on Blink.
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I just declined to “accept cookies” if you want to know what kind of mood I’m in today.
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This past weekend Heather McLaughlin made history as the first female to shoot #WrestleMania ringside for @WWE. Proud to have you on our team, Heather!
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Thank you for your support in advance and please never come to any of my shows.
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I decided I'm going to zip zap zop my way back to level 1 improv when classes open up again. @ucbtla
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