If only they looked like this when you have them delivered.

@jbulltard1 The half price burrito could be the size they make when you order it to-go (and don't watch them make it)

If the leaders in the Democratic Party keep encouraging and not rebuking the idea that America is cringe, and the people who run Gaza are great, the Democrats are doomed.

It was 50 years ago at Augusta that the hardest photo in the history of golf was taken. Chi-Chi Rodriguez and his caddie at the 1975 Masters.

Just say the word!! I’m kinda rusty.. was a little busy 😂😂

Well. That's not good.

Inventing Garfield does not give you the right to disrespect me

@SpeakerPelosi Just tell us what stocks to buy Nancy

Incredible work by the Wells Fargo analyst who ordered the same burrito bowl 75 times at eight different Chipotles in NYC to prove the portion size inconsistency 🤣

Hey @Apple, I fixed it for you (sound on)

This has to be the greatest Bee Keeping moment of all time. This is what you dream about when you get your PHD in Insects

Lions fans should know who they’re getting in Terrion Arnold. All fans should know there are young people who think like this.

Was wondering what the odds were that peloton crashed during this ride. Starting really strong

INTRODUCING YOUR 3AAA STATE CHAMPS!!!!!!! 💚🐝💚🐝💚🐝

How are these students not immediately suspended? How does this not violate @Harvard’s code of conduct for students? How would Harvard respond if the affected student were Black, Latino or LGBTQIA? How does this man remain Editor of the Harvard Law Review?

@chamath You can’t make this up: 1) Virgin Galactic raises hundreds of millions from name brand investors and becomes valued at more than $20B to disrupt space tourism 2) They use the money to do flashy partnerships with brands like Under Armour for the fabrication of space suits 3)

ha! I do indeed! Go get it @thetwistedshot !!!

How is the Goldman Marcus savings account 3.90% while the Goldman Apple savings account is 4.15%? Is Goldman trying to start a bank run on itself?

please, our legal department hasn’t slept in weeks

If you’ve enjoyed Succession, you should watch the prequel: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It’s about Connor Roy’s high school days. Waystar is just picking up steam, and Connor comes to the realization that his father loves his Ferrari more than his own wife and kids. 10/10.