Three Year Letterman
@3YearLetterman
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Youth Football Coaching Legend, Die-hard Georgia Fan, Three-Year High School Football Letterman, Showstopping Little League Umpire, Region Champion (3-way tie)
Georgia
Joined September 2017
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Pinned Tweet
RICHARD NIXON COMMEMORATION 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
30 years ago today, America said goodbye to President Richard M. Nixon.
While many may remember Nixon only for his role in Waterworld, that would be a huge and shortsighted mistake. What we should remember him for is the fact that he was the…
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I literally cannot name one thing that England does better than America
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Sometimes they leave me no choice but to drop the hammer
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A British man named Harvey has entered my DMs, and he is furious
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TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU LIVE ACROSS THE POND:
Please retweet these patriotic facts, brought to you by
@TomaRomas
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If Antonio Brown thinks he’s the first person to remove his shirt in the middle of work and quit in front of customers, he clearly doesn’t know about my Uncle Gary’s brief stint at Kmart in 1987
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This map of Texas superimposed over Europe really drives home how small and insignificant Europe is compared to America. No wonder something like 97% of Scandinavians say they would prefer to live in the USA.
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@pokimanelol
Doubt that. I have better things to do than sit around watching a British cartoon like Pokémon all day. I’m a 1%er who rakes in $35.03/hr plus bennies, a cell phone, and a company car (fully loaded 2011 Taurus)
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Should’ve flown higher. There’s a reason hawk wings aren’t a thing
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Not sure any coach better reflected the fun and uniqueness that is college football than Mike Leach. This is a big loss for the sport. I’ll never tire of watching this clip:
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@pokimanelol
I’m going to recommend you drop the sarcasm right now. I’m a youth football coaching legend, and I literally couldn’t turn a door handle this morning because I have so many championship rings. I’m guessing you turn door handles with ease.
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A little Revolutionary War knowledge to start your day
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We’ve had over 50 presidents, many of them great, but one president towers above all others.
Ben Franklin literally invented electricity, democracy, capitalism, currency, and freedom. If you won’t admit that, you hate America and liberty
Happy
#PresidentsDay
Sir. We miss you
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I have spent the last hour shaking with rage and punching my phone screen. This is without question the most shameful moment in our country’s history. Time Person of the Year is supposed to be ONLY for Americans who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and succeeded on their…
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Why does British twitter insist on getting the sledgehammer dropped on them?
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Don’t do this
This is a tragic and all too familiar sight right now: Athletes dropping suddenly.
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Wow the British haven’t been this mad since 1776
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@MrBeast
Mr Least, you never lettered in shit and spend your time making no money fiddling around on YouTube in your aunt’s basement
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@elonmusk
America literally invented free speech, and the First Amendment prohibits an advertiser from pulling ads. It is sad that people have clearly never read the Declaration of Independence
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I will never stop fighting the Revolutionary War
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I have a huge announcement. I am officially declaring as a write-in candidate for president in 2024. I will be tweeting out my platform in the coming weeks and months.
America deserves a youth football coaching legend, not some random clown.
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Today, Nancy Pelosi announced her retirement from the Senate. Thank you, Madame Secretary, for your service to the country.
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Please do not question me about medical science
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How big of a loser do you have to be to show up to a baseball game with a flag/sign for Trump, Biden, or any other politician not named Gerald Ford?
University of Arkansas police cutting down a pro Trump flag at the Ole Miss vs Arkansas baseball game last night. The problem in America right now. You don’t express what the media wants you to, you are silenced.
@ClayTravis
@CollinRugg
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I literally cannot name one thing that France does better than America, other than surrendering.
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@R_Mendenhall
Sir I can assure you there’s nothing “average” about me. I’m a youth football coaching legend, and I needed assistance opening the door at Hardee’s this morning because I have so many championship rings that I’m unable to turn door handles
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232 years ago today, the world said goodbye to a hero, a president, and the man who invented electricity, currency, and freedom. Thank you, President Franklin, for making America the oldest and greatest country on earth. We miss you.
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Any politician who isn’t speaking out against the Roughing the Passer Crisis sweeping the country does not deserve your vote
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An inconvenient truth for Europeans who don’t want to admit that American football (real football) is the oldest and greatest sport on earth
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@AOC
@elonmusk
Senator, if you aren’t getting notifications, that’s because people aren’t responding to your tweets. That’s a you problem. I’m a youth football coaching legend, and I always get notifications because people are inspired by my success. Maybe you should win a championship ring.
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Today is Queen Elizabeth’s 96th birthday. That means that, during her reign, she’s had the privilege of watching America win two world wars, literally invent cars (thank you President Ford), and become the oldest and greatest country on earth. You’re welcome, your majesty.
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Things I will abolish if elected president in 2020:
1. Libraries
2. Soy
3. Non-Violent Video Games
4. Academic Eligibility Requirements
5. The Fine Arts
6. Novels
7. Sprains and Ligament Tears (they’re a hoax)
8. History (focus on the present)
9. Soccer
10. Speed Bumps
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@tocrawlwalkrun
@elonmusk
It is literally south of America. We are America, and Canada is North America. This isn’t hard
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Sometimes the blue checks need to be put in their place
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The Europeans do not want to hear this, but on Sunday, almost ten times as many people will watch the Super Bowl as watched the World Cup (Glorified Jogging) Final
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Fact: The original American version of The Office is much better than the British ripoff version
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I have ratioed PETA in advance of Thanksgiving
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Effective January 1st, my hourly wage is increasing from $35.03/hr to $35.19/hr AND I’m getting upgraded to a 2013 fully loaded Taurus with power steering and automatic transmission.
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For those who missed it: Yesterday, an irate Canadian professor (Lord Maple Leaf) tried to challenge me. It did not end well for him. Please join me on this journey down memory lane. Trust me, this is well worth your time. (1/7)
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Nearly half of screen time is being devoted to Tyler Swift.
Disgusting
🚨| An official report reveals that Taylor Swift only receives an estimate of 0.46% of screen time during the games she attends!
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On this very day 317 years ago, a baby boy was born in the United States of America.
That baby would later grow up and literally invent electricity, freedom, currency, and democracy during his presidency.
Happy Birthday, President Franklin. We miss you.
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@Jomboy_
As a showstopping Little League umpire, I’d have ejected both players on the spot. This type of anti-competitive attitude should never be tolerated in America. I once called a player out even though he was safe for saying hello to an opposing player.
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The USA is playing Whales tomorrow in the World Cup. Literally never heard of that country before.
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@KeithOlbermann
Kurt, I’m a youth football coaching legend who literally struggles to turn door handles because I have so many championship rings. I bet you open doors with ease and have never gotten a Gatorade bath in your life.
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@elonmusk
Soccer isn’t a real sport; it’s glorified jogging. College football is the most watched sport on the planet; over ten billion people watched Georgia defeat Tennessee two weeks ago
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Congratulations to Argentina’s Lionel Richie on winning his first World Cup. While NFL and college football players remain much more popular intentionally than he does, we should let him have his moment in the sun.
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The SEC East standings say otherwise
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I have solved the student loan issue in two sentences
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TRIGGER WARNING FOR BRITISH AND FRENCH TWEETERS:
At this very hour in 1776, George Washington crossed the Delaware and forced the British and French to surrender at Yorktown. The very next day, Ben Franklin wrote the Declaration of Independence.
Simply stunning.
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America: July 4, 1776 - July 4, 2023
#BreakingNews
The men's contest at the Nathan's hot dog eating competition CANCELED due to weather
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I have arrived in Albuquerque. I will be remaining here in Mexico and will not be returning to America until the Tyler Swift Chiefs lose.
I like South America so far. No trouble communicating and thankfully they didn’t require me to show a passport, which I do not have.
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2024 years ago today, Jesus became the first American to enter the transfer portal. And he didn’t need an NIL deal to do it, because he played for the love of the game
Happy Easter
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I’m doing some math here
BREAKING: Class of 2024 Safety Dre Kirkpatrick Jr. tells me he has Committed to Alabama!
The 6’0 190 S from Gadsden, AL chose the Crimson Tide over Missouri, Auburn, & others
Is the son of former Alabama DB & 2012 NFL Draft 1st rounder Dre Kirkpatrick
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@elonmusk
Elon, not to be “that guy,” but you are Twitter’s employee, and it is illegal for employees to buy the company they work for. You also can’t own it because it’s an American company and you are British. So as a youth football coaching legend, I recommend you delete this
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Having a blue check does not excuse you from the rule that your name is whatever I say it is
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@elonmusk
Respectfully disagree. Libraries are biggest threat to society. So few people understand than an hour in the weight room is more valuable than a lifetime in the classroom. That’s why, as a youth football coaching legend, I tell my players to drop out of school
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@elonmusk
Elon, this kind of attitude is a great example of why you’ll never have a truly great invention like Gerald Ford did when he literally invented the car and is now our greatest living president. That’s why we’re the oldest and greatest country on earth
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Mike Krzyzewski finishes his career with zero SEC championships
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@BrotherHQ
I am a big fan of what the Disney employee did. I’m a youth football coaching legend, and I once fired an assistant coach just for thinking about getting engaged. Relationships only interfere with excellence on the field, so I forbid them.
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Ice T couldn’t handle the fully loaded Taurus
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@elonmusk
The First Amendment protects everyone’s right to impersonate someone else. Free speech isn’t free - it came to us through the Declaration of Independence
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Not sure I can take Argentina seriously as a champion of anything given that they gerrymandered the shape of their own country. Yikes
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Taylor the structural engineer has entered the chat, and he is furious
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@TomBrady
Tim, I’m a youth football coaching legend, and this tweet makes me shake with absolute rage. You quit, and now you’re mentioning family, which shows you’re distracted. That’s why I forbid my players from even speaking to family members during the season. Do better and delete this
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Today, King Charles takes the throne. Though he still can’t say aluminum correctly, he’s now absolute monarch of the EU and can tell England, Scotland, Ireland, and Whales what to do, and they must obey.
America, however, remains the oldest, greatest, and freest country on Earth
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It is becoming increasingly clear that Russia could not, in fact, handle the grind of an SEC schedule
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@elonmusk
People hate me because they are jealous that I have a credit score that starts with a 6 and am a 1%er who rakes in $35.03/hr plus bennies, a cell phone, a company gas card, and a showstopping company car (fully loaded 2011 Taurus). I do not apologize for being better than others
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@Shabnam_Danesh
@elonmusk
Um, I’m not interested in driving a Civic, which is a glorified golf cart. I drive a showstopping fully loaded 2011 Taurus with a 24 disc CD changer in the trunk. Delete this
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