Just down here doing the best I can 😭🙏

I’d fuck it. 🤷‍♀️

When someone mentions an author I don't know, I just say, “Oh yes, my grandparents lived next door to his family.”

Eugenio Suarez had an adventurous Game 6 at third base Presented by @NutrafolMen

Maybe instead of using Hamburger Helper we should have provided the necessary tools so that the hamburger was empowered to help itself.

"No King's Day" or, more accurately, "Agglomeration of 99% of Americans who still wear masks and have no clue what "fascism" actually means-Day."

In June 1976, my best friend's dad was the advertising director for the radio station in the larger next city over. As a stunt to sell more of the new kids' toy "Slime," he staged a fistfight between Gerry Rafferty and Gordon Lightfoot at the mall.

The biggest myth in healthcare is that insurance companies get you better prices than you could get yourself.

If you need some lasting attention, just make a small donation to Wikipedia.

Got reprimanded at work again for using meetings to entertain myself instead of to achieve strategic objectives.

Evening mood 🎨Giao Williams

Today, I want to talk about how people's houses smell funny, but mine doesn't.

I found a new dream. Okay. Fuck.

Cool. I grabbed the loudest cart in Walmart and it's too late to turn back now.

Follow America's Number One Custom Truck Dealer on X

Someone asked me if I’ve ever eaten a box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting. Oh, you sweet little naive fool. Of course not.

Hey man, it’s the best day of my life.

It’s a good day to be a big time believer.

Update my preferences? No.

Do you hold legacy investment positions with significant gains? What if you could transition into an ETF without facing a large tax bill? You can, with a 351 ETF Exchange. Here’s how it works: Investors contribute stocks or other securities to a newly formed ETF in exchange for

imma go out to the garage and teach myself karate

I’m usually driving around with my gas light on if you’re into risk takers.

Some people say Zoomers aren't creative but have you ever seen their punctuation and capitalization?

late night live art

imma eat a whole sack of tiny oranges today