Katie Goldin 🐜
@KatieGoldin
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Hosts @CreatureFeatPod . Controlled by @ProBirdRights . Writes for @SomeMoreNews . Nudibranchs in bio:
California, USA
Joined January 2017
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Ok. I don't know who needs to hear this, but buckle up. Here's the deal. A thread 🧵
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THIS IS WHAT ELEPHANT SHREWS LOOK LIKE WHEN THEY YAWNN
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For anyone who still thinks "BoTH SiDeS ArE thE SamE"
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Some of you are out there REALLY not knowing what an elephant shrew looks like when it yawns and it SHOWS
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This is FRAUD. I went to the grocery store and my bill was $10 at first, and then they just kept ADDING TO IT. By the end they "charged" me over $90 for my groceries. They just kept "finding" "Kid Cuisines©" to "charge" me for that I had "bought"
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And this? This right here? This is an elephant shrew yawning. But some of you aren't ready for that conversation. 🤷♀️
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Anyways here's my soundcloud/link to buy a vibrator jk it's another elephant shrew yawwwwniiing
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Can’t believe I have to say this but here’s what an elephant shrew yawning looks like 👏in motion👏. Also I promise to do an elephant shrew episode of my Creature Feature podcast soon. oopsies did I just drop a link 2 my own podcast clumsy me teehee
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Oh come let us a door him.
saw this nativity scene made of doors and they gave mary a doggy door WHYYYY WHY WHY
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The unintentional irony is that being born is, in fact, not a binary. Labor can take hours, a baby can start crowning and be "born" on two days if birth happens in the middle of the night. People who attack other gender identities by citing biology often know the least about it.
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I've decided to post some comics I did about 5 years ago. They are a parody of the popular comic strip Peanuts.
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@IwriteOK
Robert they have a 60% successful kill rate and walk over 20 miles a night. They can pluck birds out of the air like grapes.
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@sheerohero666
Lip scrub. Washcloths are probably more effective but I love smearing sugary goo around.
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This is actually NOT cute. Sloths are notorious pirates, the people in this boat are as good as dead.
Timeline cleanser:
If you’ve already seen a sloth on a boat playing with the water today just keep on scrolling...
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My Jewish ancestors were forced out of their homes during the 19th century pogroms in Odessa. Seeing Palestinians being forced out of their homes in East Jerusalem makes me sick to my stomach. If we can't learn empathy from history, the suffering of our ancestors was in vain.
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@KatyMontgomerie
Maybe this person is just really excited to be able to identify things in a photo. "That's 2 men!! And that's a basketball court!! The men are wearing shoes!!!"
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Hi friendly neighborhood killjoy here: "Florida Man" is a thing bc FL has sunshine laws that allows public access to government records (a good thing) & local news outlets use them to punch down and mock vulnerable groups such as those who suffer from addiction (whoops)
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Never forget that during the pandemic, people were like, “Essential workers are heroes 🥰” and when the heroes politely asked for enough money to live on, people were like, “Oooo that’s a no, sweetie 🤗❤️”
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I may have my disagreements with Warren, but it truly warms my heart to see her rip Bloomberg’s head off on live TV and throw it across the room, blood spewing like party streamers.
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"Happy MLK Day!" - The most racist ghoul possible, just a pile of haunted scabs and racism, CEO of Death War Bombs Inc.
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@disco_socialist
The worst is, "Wait, I barely make $15 an hour and I'm a graduate with x degree!" Like all your worth is tied into being "better" than minimum wage "lessers," and you can never even imagine demanding more for yourself.
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Leftists: “Everyone should wear masks and get basic income so they don’t die.”
Neoliberals: “Everyone should wear masks including the low wage servers we’re forcing back to work.”
Conservatives: “You can’t tell me to wear a mask, commie.”
Far right: “MASKS ARE 5G MIND CONTROL.”
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This isn't tone deaf. This is a tone black hole. This is the permadeath of tone.
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This is attempted murder. "Rubber" and "foam" bullets can kill when they strike the head.
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@drmistercody
I was trying to think of the dumbest take Ben Shapiro could do, and my imagination couldn't even conceive of something this dumb.
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Ah yes, the lesson of Squid Game: it's good and we should do a real squid game.
456 real people.
4.56 million dollars.
Squid Game: The Challenge begins November 22.
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@IwriteOK
The number of people in that thread who think it's up to her to fix his self-esteem issues is upsetting 👀
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This is very frightening, for academic freedom, freedom of speech, and for American Jews
President Trump will sign an executive order defining Judaism as a nationality, not just a religion, thus bolstering the Education Department's efforts to stamp out "Boycott Israel" movements on college campuses
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The only argument against vote-by-mail at this point is being pro-fascism, right?
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MSNBC's Maddow: "If you pray, please pray for the speedy recovery" for Trump, first lady
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“We’ll* adopt* your* baby*”
*we’ll
*use
*your body
*for nine months like some kind of baby printer
*for our own selfish needs
*then name it Kayleelynn
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A nervous CEO using a picture of Bernie riding a plane from 2018 to desperately stop his wealth from being taxed to give people medicare.
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It's very cool to have people in my mentions saying I don't count as being Jewish, Nazis calling me a "Jew parasite," and Trump supporters calling me anti-semitic. Very cool and neat, really enjoying the discourse.
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[Talking to a Palestinian child who has lost their home] "You don't understand, they called her Eve *Fartlow* on Twitter."
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People who hate "big government," please explain to me in 300 words or less why you want the government to keep track of everyones' genitals?
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@drmistercody
@katystoll
I'm not proud of what I've done, but I can't change what I've done.
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yeah weed is performance enhancing... it's enhancing my performance on this bag of doritos hehehuhueheheuehehu (DISCLAIMER: I'm not cool enough to smoke weed, implications that I do were made for the purpose of this joke).
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@alexisthenedd
@MaraWilson
Harry had to discover Snape's secret special annotated textbook to discover how to peel magic garlic with the flat part of the knife.
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I feel like I need to do a whole
@SomeMoreNews
episode explaining that human beings can't actually put their bodily functions on pause in the absence of accessible bathrooms. You can not, in fact, keep poop inside of you indefinitely.
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Were tabloids just trying to straight up kill women???
I’m not saying the media in the early 00’s caused my eating disorder but it sure didn’t help…
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The answer to your question is no, you shouldn't. I repeat, NO, you should not.
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@drmistercody
During a long racist diatribe and minstrel show, one of them asks "where's the receipts" that black farmers face discrimination. Incredible.
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I wrote a whole Some More News episode that I think has to be re-written now lol
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My dog just picked up the entire bag of treats, so I have no treats to bribe her with to get her to drop the bag of treats. She has seized the means of production.
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@adamjohnsonNYC
"States 500th prison death was a guy who had some weed but don't worry he hated puppies."
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Just the huge, seemingly unbridgeable gap in empathy, makes me feel dizzy.
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When I wrote that Cody should "chug" some gatorade, I didn't think he'd down the entire bottle in one take like a hamster dying of thirst. Truly a champion.
Hi. Here is the latest episode of
#SomeMoreNews
with
@drmistercody
.
Link:
Produced by
@katystoll
. Written by
@KatieGoldin
. Directed by
@will_gordh
. Edited by
@greggmeller
. Graphics by
@FClintDeNisco
.
#Georgiaelection
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@socialistdogmom
ever notice how being broke doesn't instantly stop people from being alive??? if you're so "poor" why haven't you immediately dropped dead?
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Quick guide to all the people you should have empathy for in deadly freezing weather:
- People in red states
- People in blue states
- People in any state or country in the world
- Unhoused people
- People in ICE concentration camps
- People
- All people
- Except Ted Cruz
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I wrote this before the huge Ken Bone news broke, sorry :(
Hi. Here is the latest episode of
#SomeMoreNews
with
@drmistercody
.
Link:
Produced by
@katystoll
. Written by
@KatieGoldin
. Directed by
@will_gordh
. Edited by
@greggmeller
.
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@IwriteOK
The Trump admin got rid of the watchdog orgs that monitored violent right wing groups.
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*Grabs millennials and Gen X’s hands, forces them back to work* “why do you keep infecting yourself, why do you keep infecting yourself????”
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It's one U-Haul rental, Michael. What could it cost? Ten thousand dollars?
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"An exciting new disruptor in the White Nationalist industry"
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I lost my private health insurance. Without medicare for all, that meant my doctor—whom I saw since I was 14 years old to treat my OCD—was suddenly out of network. I no longer have the "choice" to see the doctor I knew for 15 yrs. Or is that not the kind of choice that matters?
My plan lets everyone choose a public plan without forcing anyone off their private plans. The question is whether you trust the American people—including the working people of
@culinary226
—to make the health care choice that's right for them.
I do. Why don't you?
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People who defend the Gates Foundation making the Oxford vaccine exclusive to AstraZeneca, claiming that it's the only way to make a "safe" vaccine: 1) Do you think AstraZeneca is the only qualified pharma company in the world 2) How's that working out
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Fun mastodon facts! These magnificent creatures once roamed north and Central America. Unlike grassland dwelling mammoths, they preferred forests and ate leaves. They were likely social animals, similar to modern day elephants. For more information, google “mastodon social”
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I guess the right wants us all to share the same pronouns like a bunch of gender communists.
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@disco_socialist
Such brainwashing to demand that other people be treated worse so that you, also treated badly, can feel superior. So at least there's someone "under" you. And that people doing work that society needs to keep people alive (food service, sanitation, etc.) should be at the bottom.
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@drmistercody
Ted Bundy: "Trump is a p***y he should be bathing in the blood of his murder victims."
Centrist twitter: "IS TED BUNDY MY NEW BF??? 😍😍😍"
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Today I was called a “person with a uterus.” As I wept bitter tears, a communist cat boy threw a copy of Das Kapital at me. I opened it only to find photographs of Michelangelo’s David’s groin, and as I recoiled in horror, someone slipped hormone treatments into my gaping mouth.
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I hate that I can say “shrimp guy is a milkshake duck” and it makes perfect sense in my head.
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Played an April Fool on my dog. Told her she was only getting one treat. Then I gave her two. And then another one.
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@KatyMontgomerie
Women: "We don't want to be defined as walking reproductive organs!"
TERFS: "Actually..."
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@drmistercody
Hey remember when nazi enabler Ben Shapiro chummily interviewed nazi leader Kyle Chapman?
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@drmistercody
I like how Noam Chomsky is ignored by corporate media EXCEPT when he advocates for pragmatic voting (and of course they leave out all his critiques on corporate media bias).
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My parents live in Encinitas. They've been self isolating since March bc they don't want to get sick/infect others. If this protest causes a spike in cases in Encinitas (it likely will) I'm going to be absolutely livid. You can't live without the beach for a few months?? Selfish.
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So if someone carries a chainsaw around in public, nobody can try to stop them, and if someone does, it's ok to chainsaw them in half? Am I understanding the precedent correctly?
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If it feels like the goalposts are shifting in terms of covid safety, you are correct. That’s what happens when a virus is allowed to run rampant and mutates to become more infectious. And it’s so frustrating how unclear the public messaging has been about it.
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Ah I get it now, Matt Walsh is always asking “what is a woman” because he keeps forgetting it doesn’t include underaged girls.
BREAKING: In a blog post by Matt Walsh, the Daily Wire pundit argued that modern society has "delayed the onset of adulthood" by "inventing a new sort of human: the 'teenager.'" Walsh has come under fire for previous comments defending teen pregnancy.
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"She didn't ask to be born wealthy" we are so entirely screwed lol.
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No. He knows he could get caught.
There is no wrong to a seagull. There is only eat.
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@drmistercody
@NeilClark66
I love it when an entire fully gowned medical team bursts forth naturally from my abdomen to give me medical attention after I break my arm. Also I am constantly shitting myself it is the natural way.
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Here's an episode where I told
@drmistercody
to maybe eat some cat food! Am I abusing my position as a writer? Absolutely not!!!!
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I wrote this because "feel good" stories should really be called "feel bad" stories. Really makes you think, huh?
Hi. Here is the latest episode of
#SomeMoreNews
with
@drmistercody
.
Link:
Produced by
@katystoll
. Written by
@KatieGoldin
.
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It also unintentionally reveals the fuzziness of our definitions of things, such as "birth." When is a child born? When they first crown? When they take their first breath? When the cord is cut? This can all happen over a long period of time... a spectrum, if you will.
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Chord Overstreet sounds like a fake American name in an anime.
She’s back!
Here is your first look at Lindsay Lohan in her upcoming holiday rom-com, co-starring Chord Overstreet.
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When I was a kid I hated bananas. But I liked banana chips. When I found out banana chips were made out of banana, I cried. If we let kids dictate public health policy we would all be dead in a day.
The terrible, terrible sound of a three year old pleading on a plane, about to take off, for their parents to unmask them. ‘I don’t want it! Daddy!’
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