The Wonton Don
@DonnieDoesWorld
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Statuses
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@barstoolsports foreign correspondent | Crab Rangoon Chef | Cultural Cosmonaut. IG : thewontondon
Shanghai, People's Republic of
Joined January 2012
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Pinned Tweet
Billy didn't bawl his eyes out this time but we both def got teary eyed during his final testimonial.
If you can, please cop this Ugandan Football Booster T-shirt as 100% of proceeds go towards sending them much needed football equipment!
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30 minutes after departing Albuquerque I was shaken out of my Panda Express and Tequila induced stupor by a man trying to aggressively open the airplane door 4 rows back. Me and 5 other dudes had to wrestle him into the aisle, duct tape his legs, and throw flexi-cuffs on him.…
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Folks two dudes just boarded my plane with emotional support falcons
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Found a Korean bagel spot that does Bulgogi, egg, and cheese with gochujang mayo. It slaps.
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LMAO my parents were at a charity auction last night and one of the items was dinner for 10 with Steve Carrell. Steve Carrell showed up undercover and outbid everyone with $31,000. Now some charity gets 31K and Steve Carrell doesn't have to hang out with strangers. win win.
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2 Bud Zeros and a Draw must be what purgatory feels like
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After a solid 3 hours of crushing Termies have been informed we’re not flying out till tomorrow morning. It’s a bad night to be the Ramada Plaza in midtown Albuquerque!
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Virginity Status: Lost
Congrats to Mr and Mrs
@DonnieDoesWorld
! perhaps the first traditonal Chinese Lion dance to be performed on a Jack Nicklaus golf property in Ireland
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3AM in Qatar.
@PFTCommenter
is explaining to a Bulgarian why offensive lineman also deserve to make millions every year. A true football guy’s football guy.
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This tweet is dumb. If this is Wuhan now it’s because they had the most authoritarian lock down measures in the world which wouldn’t have been received so well in the US. Our govt couldn’t even enforce mandatory masks without a bunch of ppl losing their shit.
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Supposed to be having a company wide meeting and this is all I see. Am I fired?
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Worst content on the internet:
- Joe Rogan Sauna selfies
- People’s Wordle scores
- The text to speech Tiktok voice
- Anything using the phrase “understood the assignment”
What did I miss?
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If you demand “all flats” or “all drums” when ordering wings you need to chill the fuck out
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Actual country lyric:
“Now Im 25 and Im drinkin’ wine with my wife at home, got a couple dogs and couple songs on the radio, and we sit around and we laugh about how we used to be, back when we were 16”
Wtf? By no means should u be this washed up at age 25.
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Buddy If two dudes board my plane with falcons I’m gonna tweet it out 100% of the time regardles of their race.
Taking emotional support pets aboard is legal and an everyday occurrence. Are you sure the birds are the problem or the abhorrent
#racism
motivating the tweet?
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There I was, in a hot spring about to crush my zillionth beer when a snow monkey came through. Can you hear the desperation in my voice when she took it from me? Like a mom getting her newborn child torn from her arms. Luckily, she was only messing with me. Solid prank 10/10
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The Emir saw
@PFTCommenter
’s gracious tweets and invited us to a thanksgiving feast in his private sky suite. Happy Turkey Day!!
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Anytime
@DanteTheDon
texts me thinking I’m
@chefdonnyy
(it’s happened numerous times), he’s gonna get trolled. Simple as that…
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It’s no celebrity rendition of “Imagine” but this should still help a lot of people
Introducing The Barstool Fund
If you are a small business that needs help staying in business because of covid email us your story to barstoolfund
@barstoolsports
.com. We will try to help as many people as we can.
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Hang out with
@PFTCommenter
for a day they said. You won’t turn into
@BarstoolBigCat
they said...
#lies
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I will be doing Dry January this year. First time taking a month (or even 10 days) off since I started drinking as a wee lad. Would appreciate your support on this journey. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be getting absolutely buckled to close out 2021.
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.
@RiggsBarstool
moved to Arizona and stopped responding to our texts and tweets so in order to contact him we had to resort to desperate measures: A SEANCE
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My girlfriend and I are currently detained by Shanghai Sharks security being asked for our passport numbers. After all I’ve done for this franchise are you fucking kidding me!!
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So many Iranian rockets at the match last night and I’m not talking about bombs. Very attractive people.
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"If you're White and you've posted a GIF or meme of a Black person to express a strong emotion, you may be guilty of wearing 'digital blackface,'" writes John Blake | Analysis
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Arrived at base camp in the midst of a blizzard but my lord, look at this place in the sunshine!
#stellablueathlete
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Any president over the age of 70 should be required to take Adderall imho
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Didn’t know this but from now on you can expect me to be dropping “Yao Ming got me out of jail once” in most conversations
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Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks specifically cater towards mornings/breakfast and yet can’t make a better breakfast sandwich than McDonalds. It’s truly disgraceful.
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REALLY appreciate
@PFTCommenter
being so honest with me while he was out in Hong Kong.
P.S. loads of deleted scenes dropping Tuesday
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For as long as I can remember (read: the past year), a goal of mine has been to swim from Brooklyn to Manhattan. As of this morning I can scratch it off the list. Thank you
@BarstoolYak
(minus
@BWalkerSEC
) for supporting the cause. Time to take a bath in bleach.
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I told Billy let’s not do any media appearances this trip. Just focus on ball. I leave for Kenya a day early and he’s immediately back on the news.
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HBD
@PFTCommenter
. You find out who your real friends are on molly in Hong Kong. Ive always said that.
.
@PFTcommenter
learns the hard way that trying to do interviews after taking MDMA is no easy task.
20 minutes of Deleted scenes from his time in Hong Kong with
@donniedoesworld
is now LIVE:
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Filmed a music video today for a Colombia Rapper named "Blow Rasta". Didn't charge for my services. Only stipulation was that I'd be dancing in the background.
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I’ve never had a Bud Zero before and maybe it’s just the atmosphere, but thing things HITTIN DIFFERENT.
#GOUSA
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Don’t ask questions. Just know that the Sharks and I are in a bad place right now.
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Gotta say this series has been the most intense thing I’ve filmed and without
@Billyhottakes
’s football IQ and his (surprising) knowledge of Africa it wouldn’t have been the same.
#WereOnToNairobi
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Most absurd moment of this trip not caught on camera:
@Billyhottakes
and I showed up to Ugandan News HQ to be interviewed about American Football on national TV.
We get brought to their political floor and they go “you’re here for the Israel/Palestine segment right?”
Our host…
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When I saw that the “World Cup’s sexiest fan” was in New York I should’ve known she was in town for one reason and one reason only…
BALLS.
What a world!
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I didn’t selflessly mold the minds of Chinese youth for 1K a month (pre taxes) just to be called a glorified babysitter by Marty Mush!
I did it so they’d have a better of succeeding in this crazy cruel world!
I have a glorified babysitter coming after me for god knows what reason. I also heard his lesson plans are dog shit and these kids are getting a sub par education. It's really said to see
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Not exactly what I had in mind for my reunion with Jamol but I’ll look into it
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This is the first time I was actually drinking coffee and spit it out.
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This is not a joke. This is actually the crew I’m celebrating the Sox World Series with. All my other friends have real jobs and cant get bombed at Taco Bell on a Monday morning.
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After
@PFTCommenter
's stunning act of bravery last night, I too have decided to let the eyes breath. Life's too short to live in the shade!
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Thinks this means HK7s on MDMA content is back on the table
@PFTCommenter
Emergency Press Conference - I Bought Back Barstool Sports
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We wanted to dress like pilgrims on our journey to “Rediscover America” but were told pilgrims are cancelled. So I dressed like a pirate and now look like Christopher Columbus who’s 1000 times more cancelled than Pilgrims. 😔
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.
@PFTCommenter
got us the draw. Every USA fan in the building tonight got us the dub! We are moving on!
#teamwork
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Got 3 hours of sleep and have to go to North Korea today but you don't see me tweeting about it.
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How are you supposed to consummate a marriage if you’re not BRICK’ed up.
@stoolpresidente
@BrickWatchCo
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Watch out Vegas, there’s a couple drunk bitches on the loose
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.
@stoolpresidente
(and crew) partied with the Pats after they won the Super Bowl.
@BarstoolBigCat
partied with the Blackhawks after they won the Stanley Cup.
I partied with USA hockey after they got eliminated from the Olympics and I wouldn’t have it neither way.
#mymoment
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Didn’t think I’d have to chime in but seeing they’re putting me on the fuckin gallows now too…
#teamHank
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Sorry I’ve been MIA lately but I’ve been editing my dick off and starting November 3rd I’ll be dropping a new episode of "Barstool Abroad: The Balkans" every Wednesday at 7PM.
So throw on your Adidas slav suits and lets get weird!
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US government has been giving Saudi Arabia a shit ton of money and military support for years. Complain to them if ur upset.
Since when have professional golfers become the moral compass in this country? They literally exist to play golf and make money.
“Have you ever had to apologize for being a member of the PGA Tour?”
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Just told my 70yo aunt about
#RushLimbaugh
. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said “
#Rushkanda
Forever” — which is the sort of pop culture cross-over that makes me extremely uncomfortable.
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First
@nbcsnl
host ever confirmed to have watched “most of” my videos coming up tonight! Tune in!
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Anthony Bourdain was a huge inspiration for what I do now. He travled, he ate, and mixed in the occasional beer and hoon. This is heartbreaking.
BREAKING: Anthony Bourdain of CNN’s “Parts Unknown” is dead. The chef, storyteller and Emmy-winning host has committed suicide at age 61, CNN confirms
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Didn’t get the memo we weren’t doing costumes on the flight
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Highly recommend watching this full video. This is just a one minute taste of 16 minutes of madness. Full vid HERE:
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Hey
@RiggsBarstool
we’ve worked at the same company long enough without a collab. The time has finally come!
🚨🇰🇵⛳️
#NEW
: North Korea is inviting golfers to play in a tournament at Pyongyang Golf Course for the 1st time. The course holds great history in the country as it was the site of Kim Jong-iI’s historic 38 under par, which included 11 hole-in-ones in his first ever round 👀
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This trek has never been about reaching Everest Base Camp, but the friends I’ll make along the way after anal.
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@KFCBarstool
You either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become a progressive hero.
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Do it without a rope pussy. Also cool emoji. I remember my first time on shrooms.
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I don’t promote. I’m a weird sports Journo, I report on weird spots. You think war journos promote war?
@DonnieDoesWorld
PETA hopping in the chat to say that it’s clear from this footage that this is wrong & harmful to promote 😫 There is nothing entertaining about forcing terrified camels to fight and risk injuries. How about not supporting cruel, barbaric events that exploit animals!
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Man I thought going to a chinese Buffett by myself to crush 8 plates of food and a couple Mai Tais was gonna be utterly depressing but it’s been soul cleansing tbh
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Billy has been bawling his eyes out all morning because we let the Uganda team down…
Some day we’ll look back on this saga and have a good laugh but today IS NOT the day
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Ilya Kovalchuk’s wife wasn’t on my Everest Base Camp bingo card but Nicole made a great trekking partner. Very athletic family.
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Very sad day. Not many ppl could handle the stress/chaos of filming in Qatar World Cup “Fan/Refugee Camps”, The Slums of the DR, and Everest Base Camp back 2 back 2 back but Mike was right there with me. A true friend and talent.
I woke up this morning to an email saying my job at Barstool was terminated after 3.5 years.
I’m devastated, as I poured my heart and soul into this job every second I was here, including 2 docs that were soon to be released
If you’re looking for video/editing/producing plz…
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Check in line for our fan village was too long at 5pm so we returned at 3am and it’s even longer. Things are starting to get pretty fyrey.
#Qatar2022
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Ok so
@PFTCommenter
is obliterated and I’m now the responsible adult in the crew. Not ideal but solid for content
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I don’t laugh enough but when I told my buddy to text
@Fastoolie
and fuck with him and he came up with this which lead to Fasoli having a full blown meltdown I couldn’t breath for a full day.
Pretty sure that poor Cape Cod Times reporter got an angry call from Fasoli’s Dad too
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Not to knock
@RiggsBarstool
moving into Pinehurst but my year in Venice may have been the biggest barstool boondoggle simply because it barely made it on the boss’s radar
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This seems like more of a pain in the ass than just stocking the shelf yourself
A clerk comfortably sits and uses a virtual reality headset to control a robot to stock shelves
@AndrewYang
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BREAKING:
@Billyhottakes
and I will be playing the first half of the Uganda v Kenya game on Sunday. Life comes at you fast.
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“Hey babe I have to sleep at
@Billyhottakes
’s apartment tonight cuz we’re leaving from Jersey at the crack of dawn for a
#BoneRush
”
Not a sentence I’d ever advise telling ur fiancé but sometimes it’s unavoidable
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Can this please be ur Halloween costume
@Jerrythekid21
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Just as I was dozing off on this flight the flight attendant started screaming CODE RED cuz a dude fainted in the bathroom due to motion sickness. That’s gotta be a Code Orange. Save Code Red for engine failure or a hijacking.
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Who does graphics for
@PardonMyTake
cuz this is hands down the coolest I have looked EVER.
D&D episode dropping tomorrow
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P.S.
@stoolpresidente
threw the wedding invite I left on his desk in the trash as he didn't know my real name. Thought a random fan was just inviting him to their wedding.
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@adamcbest
Does this pumpkin strip to pay off student loans or to feed it's children? Or does it genuinely just enjoy the work?
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The most magical place on earth (besides Orlando, that was our first choice)
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To the man who crashed into my brother at the Santa Fe Ski basin, broke his nose and ribs, said he was “gonna get help”, then promptly left the mountain...
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