Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸 Profile Banner
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸 Profile
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸

@AndrewHilaryUS

Followers
11,846
Following
3,364
Media
5,791
Statuses
69,546

Future Dead Guy. Wholesome Ice Cream Man, Unhinged Comedian, Host of @WorstWeekYet

Pittsburgh, PA
Joined August 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Did I mention that tonight was Wing night?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
A little girl just came up to the ice cream truck and asked if she could buy ice cream with a blue rock she found. I am now one blue rock richer.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Every. Single. Day.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
A little kid came up to the ice cream truck today holding a $5 in one hand and a cool leaf in the other. She asked for a bomb pop, and I said “okay, that will be one leaf please!” and she said no and handed me the $5.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Anybody got a light?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
4 months
What in the actual FUCK
@ohshidt
posts you can show your mom
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
My Finances:
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
If you’re against him, I’m against you.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
5 months
“do you think Israel has a right to exist?” Buddy, I don’t think the United States has a right to exist.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
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6 months
Elliot Page
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
6 months
Who would you like to see cast as Elon Musk in the upcoming biopic from Darren Aronofsky and A24?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Btw nobody show this tweet to my boss 😅
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Is this true?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Hostile reminder that the government could, at any time, bite the bullet and shut down all non life supporting businesses, fire up the money printing machine to make sure no one loses anything, and completely eradicate Covid in less than 2 months.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 months
Okay first of all, those are called Teefs
@leafyvegetabl
⚘ ms kale 𓆝 ⚘
3 months
cats are so funny cuz what are these teeth even for
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
11 months
Babe, I know you had a rough day, lemme roll you somethin up real quick…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
By age 34 you should have: 1. A failed podcast 2. A failing podcast 3. A new podcast ready to launch 4. A gun
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
This is just racism. Implying that a guy who won the mayor’s race in 2020 with 70% of the vote was simply a diversity hire? DEI outrage is nothing but an attempt to be racist with different, socially acceptable words, these people are vile but they’re also so fucking stupid.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
5 cops died last year of autoerotic asphyxiation and I feel like not enough people are talking about it.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
The CDC says I can rail you in a sundress.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Ah shit
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
8 months
She’s still inside the capital just scurrying around. They’ve tried setting traps but she outsmarts them every time.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 months
Inflation has drastically altered what it means to say “I just ate $25 worth of Taco Bell”
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
6 days
I made you a mix cd
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Now this I can get behind…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
How to manage your adhd without medication: 1. don’t have a job
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
The amount of boobs I’ve seen as a direct result of this wing is honestly absurd.
@TheyLuvvLi_
liyah biaa 🤍
1 year
Quote this tweet with a picture that had your dms blowing up 🥰🥰🥰😚
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Good afternoon from the Star Wars Episode I Pepsi machine that is still in operation in the year 2021.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
5 months
“Under communism, you will own nothing and you’ll be happy!” My guy, under capitalism I own nothing and I am fucking miserable.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Me & Who?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
When I was 19, I worked at McDonald’s. One night, cops pulled someone over in our drive thru, and every car that asked me what was going on, I said “they finally caught the hamburglar” and not a single person laughed. I don’t still think about that or anything though…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Follow me if you like ice cream or if you hate traditional currencies.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
I pulled out the fridge at an old house I’m cleaning out and there’s a secret door behind it… think I should open it?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 months
Reminder while Kellogg’s is in the news: the reason why a vast majority of Americans are circumcised is because the corn flakes guy convinced a generation of parents that it would stop their kids from jerkin off.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
If praying mantis isn’t in your top 3 bugs, you are objectively wrong.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Kids these days have NO IDEA... that the ice cream man was in a K hole last night.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
Holy fucking shit.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 months
No contest
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@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
3 months
What is the best episode of television you’ve ever watched?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Freedom was a mistake.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
4 months
I went to a party tonight and I said something about Twitter and someone was like “do you mean X?” and I was like “No, I do not”
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
11 months
@sar_uh666 Damn dude… what a funny lady! Thanks for sharing her with us❤️
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
This 23 year old girl at the bar just told me her first memory was 9/11… I was like “wow dude, mine was The Land Before Time”
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
People will be like “you put ketchup on Mac n cheese? You’re DISGUSTING” and then put their tongue in someone’s butthole.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
I feel like there should be a rule at concerts where as soon as a single person dies, they stop the concert.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Ryan Knight tweets shit I learned from listening to nofx when I was 13 as if he’s personally unlocking the secrets of the universe.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@incominglarents Actually the only reason I have this big of a following is because of a kid paying with a cool rock once!
@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
A little girl just came up to the ice cream truck and asked if she could buy ice cream with a blue rock she found. I am now one blue rock richer.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
@ericmetaxas Lots of people try to avoid becoming a sad old dork when they grow up, it’s refreshing to see that you bucked that trend and embraced it fully.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
@eggshellfriend No not one bit! It is, however, weird as fuck to make fun of people for being kind to workers though!
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
@WholesomeMeme I accept many different kinds of currency! (Except snakes) Follow me for ice cream truck updates, the season starts mid April❤️
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
8 months
Hot take but if you, as an employer, are found to have been hiring literal children in a workplace so dangerous that one of them dies, you should not be allowed to continue being an employer.
@MorePerfectUS
More Perfect Union
8 months
A 16-year-old boy died working at a Wisconsin saw mill. Then, federal investigators found that three children aged 15 and 16 were hurt at the sawmill over the last two years. Now the company is being fined just $191,000. They also have to stop hiring kids under 16.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
Omg just saw a cyber truck in person for the first time!
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
The more radicalized you get, the more repulsive it feels that your school literally made you pledge allegiance to a fucking flag every single day for 12 years.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
If minimum wage had gone up at the same rate as healthcare costs in the US since 1960, it would be $37/hr today. Since healthcare is directly tied to employment in this country, I think it’s a conversation worth having.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Nobody has yelled at me online in a while, so today I decided to put a hot dog in a glass of water and boiled it in the microwave.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
11 months
Nothing will prepare you for the end of this video.
@ericriveracooks
eric rivera
11 months
everyone about this dude screams, "my asian wife," and it's gross
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
How is this still happening?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@meowmeowmeuw @jiggyymf This is the one for me but it’s close for sure
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
So companies can afford to pay their employees $20/hr and all it takes is a less than 5% price increase??? That sounds worth it to me.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 months
I do not remember what it’s like to eat a meal in peace
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
11 months
I’m crying right now
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
4 months
Ground Turkey in chili: literally can’t even tell the difference Turkey Burger: not really the same thing but it’s good and fine Turkey Bacon: I will shoot you with a gun
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
@JUNlPER OMFG 😹
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@MsMomoManko One-plylids ☠️
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 months
This tweet ruined my life.
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@TheWapplehouse
Kristi Yamaguccimane
3 months
what’s the worst tweet you’ve ever seen
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Hey remember when the police were never defunded and then crime rates rose?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
The problem with “endure a shitty life in your 20’s so that things will be better when you’re older” is that the second part is a lie.
@chrishlad
Chris Hladczuk
1 year
Work-life balance in your 20s is an easy way to guarantee a mediocre career.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
@Kaelwritesblog Appreciate the edit lol.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Men will be like “you can’t even COMPLIMENT a woman anymore!” but then their compliment is basically “hey the way your body looks makes me want to cum”
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
We need a breakfast pasta. It’s time.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
Goin for it…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Little kid came up to the truck and asked for a Spider-Man popsicle but only had $1 in his hand. I asked if he could go get more dollars and he goes “WAIT, I’ve got this!” And pulled a purple plastic gem out of his pocket. I am now one purple gem richer.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Pee is stored in the balls but squirt is stored in the heart.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@bugposting I use a pair of these bad boys
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Every single time…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@kielbasagarage Holy shit I thought this was a Tramp Stamps revival for a second
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
Me & who?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
28 days
Me if I got kidnapped and was trying to let everyone know without tipping off the kidnappers:
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
It I was sitting next to a guy on an airplane and he busted out loose burgers and coconuts I would do 9/11 2.
@paulsaladinomd
Paul Saladino, MD
1 month
My favorite traveling hack ✈️🥥 I do not drink from plastic bottles so this is how I hydrate while traveling…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
You’re laughing? Nikki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s testicles became so swollen that his fiancé called off their marriage AND YOU’RE LAUGHING?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
5 days
NICE/BLAZE IT/NEVER FORGET
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
Classic case of footloose
@creepydotorg
Creepy.org
1 month
You are a doctor and you receive this case. Your diagnosis? 🤔
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
I’ve come to realize that I need to take a break from twitter. I’m not gunna take one, but I recognize the need.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
It is SO funny to proudly proclaim “things are different now but I’m still the same!”
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 month
HOW WOULD A DIVERSITY MAYORAL HIRING EVEN WORK??? Did the whole city meet up before the election and collectively decide “I don’t care if there’s more qualified white guys, we NEED a black guy” They don’t even bother to make sure their racist theories make basic sense.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
How would yinz feel about me crowdfunding a free ice cream day? I do a low income neighborhood (Northside of Pittsburgh) on Thursday, if I could raise like $750, that would cover the cost of giving every kid on my route free ice cream. Thoughts?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
@Senn_Spud I prefer my technique but I’ve got all the tools in my toolbox!
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
11 months
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Hot tip: send your friends money when they post boob
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
Little kid and his sister came up to the ice cream truck with like 75¢ between them BUT he was holding a clarinet… Guess who just traded two fudge pops for a heartfelt rendition of Hot Cross Buns?
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
People love to say shit like “I’m not against polyamory, it’s just that most of the poly people I’ve met seem to do it in an unhealthy way” as if the same isn’t 1000% true about monogamous people.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
1 year
Hold on, let me set the mood…
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
12 days
Not gunna lie, it’s pretty alarming how many people are just openly calling for another Kent State massacre.
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
@TheMcKenziest She was NOT having my shenanigans lol
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Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
2 years
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@AndrewHilaryUS
Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸
3 years
@thepeoplesnurs Upon further inspection, this thing is 100% made of plastic. Also it glows in the dark 😹😹😹
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