Zyn Capital
@zyn_addict
Followers
5,793
Following
449
Media
246
Statuses
2,252
only spearmint zyns allowed, i love oil. 5x hater of the year award recipient
Murray Hill, Manhattan
Joined March 2023
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Pinned Tweet
If you go through 2 packs of zyns per week in New York: $16/week
$64/mo, $256/quarter
That means it only takes 201 shares of Philip Morris for the dividend to cover your quarterly zyn expenses and your addiction becomes self sustaining.
Follow for more personal finance hacks
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Writing in this guy for President
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Crazy how these three items turn me into corporate Superman. I’m literally creating so much shareholder value the shareholders will send me handwritten thank you cards
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I’m so excited to sign my grandma up for FanDuel today I’m literally shaking. Thanks for the free money
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I was just racially profiled. I walked into a bodega I have never been to before. Guy looks me up and down and says “Zyn?”. I do got that white boy fit on, however, I was there for a Mega Millions ticket, not zyn.
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Undisclosed location. New York City, New York. Euro zyns acquired
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So fucking sick of brooks brothers “slim fit” that fit like I’m wearing a white garbage bag. Can someone drop some shirt recs and don’t say Charles Tyrwhitt, I don’t want to buy new shirts every 6 months
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Everyone is going to dap me up when they see me wearing this shirt at blue haven east this weekend
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If you are an adult and drink this in the morning you shouldn’t be allowed to vote
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I AM URGING NO FEDERAL ACTION. COME AND TAKE THEM!!!
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Just went to the dentist and he said my 2+ years of chronic Zyn usage has not affected my gums at all! There is no excuse not to zyn, I should be zynning more
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From the $PM earnings report: 384.8 million cans of zyns sold in 2023, that is more than enough for every man, woman and child in the US! Great year everyone, let’s work harder in 2024!
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Last night my girlfriend told me that I “wouldn’t do well in war” because I “get tummy aches” and “enjoy equinox showers”.
Obviously I’m extremely distraught and should probably enlist just to spite her. I’ll be thinking about this all day and suffering
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OMG BUCS BY A ZILLION
Baker got zyns in his pocket during practice??? Oh yea the Bucs are beating the Eagles by 50 this week
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Job where they pay $500k base but I just send a couple emails and go outside and play all day and hang out
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PROMISES KEPT. This meaty guy was $13 with double chicken btw. Chipotle could never
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I would like to announce that I took a 4 day break from zyns to boost my tolerance and nothing happened. There is no reason to stop zynning the only thing that happened was I ate more. So basically if you don’t zyn you will become fat
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My friend is an elementary school teacher in NYC sent me this picture— what they confiscated this month
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2nd soda and 2nd double decky zyn of the day because I’ve been a very good boy
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TAPPING IN. The freak ass Europeans are here. Location: spring lounge
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Zyn Capital UK Takeover Update:
Since king charles is basically a communist, I couldn’t find zyns anywhere. These Velos are 10.9mg of nicotine, wet pouches and burned a hole in my gums (haven’t felt that in years).
8/10 (flavor sucks), the redcoats are onto something
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We should’ve purchased 300 MILLION cans this quarter!
You guys are slacking. Frankly, this is embarrassing.
2 6mg zyns at least four times a day going forward pls.
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JUST PAID $12.99 for this in Killington, VT. Society has gone too far, guy at the counter said he was having a “bad day” or else I’d report for price gauging
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Meet and greet @ spring lounge! Please do not approach me if you don’t have zyns on you
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Just had my girlfriend try a zyn for the first time and I think she spontaneously combusted
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I genuinely love real estate.
All the different types of properties & how you can make it work for you goals.
Walking past big ones like this inspire me to maybe one day want one.
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How I look when the nice bodega man hands me cool mint zyns instead of spearmint
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Like if you would come to zyn capital event NYC 2024
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I just drank 2 Celsius in the last 45 mins and I think I am actually going to fucking explode. They should not let you have two of these I love caffeine
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The Cava that I frequently get for lunch was shut down by the NYC health commissioner 😭😭😭 the fuck have I been eating bro
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Telling my gf the Litquidity lore and she says she “thinks my account is small enough” that I’m safe. No kidding but SO HURTFUL. IM TRYING!!!
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My first act as president of the USA is to make it federal law to have a zyn in during a hockey game
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Gentlemen: get the idea out of your head that it is okay to wear white shoes with a suit. This is an office, a place of business, and you look like you’re ready for the 6th grade dance. Be better.
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I can get the yeti on my own I don’t need the points I can get the yeti on my own I don’t need the points I can get the yeti on my own I don’t need the points
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Gf just called me a pet name in front of the boys… it’s over for me
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If you are not pro-spending $1.7 trillion of the F-35, I want you locked up for treason, look how cool it is
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Does anyone want to pool together some funds so we can get him back in fantasy quicker
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They aren’t paying me to say this but Quartr is a pretty cool app. Good infographic here but Philip Morris bought away our pure play, Swedish Match. It is my personal opinion this number will multiply as euro zyns are better than US zyns. Product has soooo much room to grow
ZYN is spreading like wildfire in the US!
A so-called category killer, ZYN is dominating the US nicotine pouch segment with an insane 76% retail market share (in dollars, 13-week period, Q3 2023).
Fun fact: Just like Quartr, ZYN originates from Sweden.
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If you EVER catch me publicly meat riding like this please put me down. Bro ain’t gonna see this 😭😭
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PUTTING A TENT IN MY MDs OFFICE AND LIVING THERE UNTIL I GET MY COMP 10X!!!!! WHO IS WITH ME!? WE CAN DO THIS!!!!
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Converted my boy at work from vape to zyns 🙏🙏🙏 god is so good have a blessed day everyone
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This is the most correct take I’ve ever seen in my life
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Forgot I’m a grown man and waffles are actually really cheap
I would pay any amount of money for 4 eggo waffles covered in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and fake syrup with a big glass of chocolate milk
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BREAKING per source:
New wet zyn pouches. I will be buying this and releasing a full review
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Yeah I don’t have Spotify, I have Apple Music like an adult. Spotify wrapped is giving poor, APPLE MUSIC SUPREMACY
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🚨 Christmas cups are back 🚨 this weekend plus 3 6mg zyns is the breakfast michelle Obama wanted us to have
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NYC bodegas are adapting. They are understanding the zyn community lingo. This is big for our fight to defend big tobacco
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Dropping an I’m Him performance in the gc is better than crack
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I’ve been such a fat little piggy for a solid week and I’m so scared. If I don’t go back to my routine soon I fear I will die from fatness please help me
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Reply with your stats so far this month
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It’s happening guys. At what point do I start getting advertisement deals?
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Me when someone says “ew who keeps microwaving fish in the office”
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Should I get the zyn dress socks or the zyn coffee tshirt or should I keep saving
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Spring cleaning gotta be at least 100 cans in here. Don’t want the girl golf ball either
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Easiest $10 I’ve ever spent. Imagine the NYP puts you on the cover because someone said you’re the best sex they’ve ever had
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Not to mention some of them have pockets on the front and I feel like somebody’s grandpa
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Are any of my followers large men that run a lot? Lately I can’t run over 5 miles without my knee feeling like it’s going to explode. I’m far too young for this pls help what do I do
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Just found a rogue zyn in my pocket, I am the luckiest boy in new york city!
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Saw an Uber eats delivery guy dripped out wearing all Essentials.
Zyn Capital is now forecasting 3 rate hikes this year, not cuts. No questions, thank you.
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Zyns are good but I really wish they had some aspartame in them
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Watch hockey without a zyn in your mouth challenge: level impossible
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2 minutes buffer for a 1-on-1 meeting
3 minutes buffer for a group meeting
This is GENEROUS. If you cannot do this and be consistently punctual, you should be in JAIL. Late people are lazy people and will not make it in this world, you are not that busy.
JAIL TIME!!!
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@StewyMidtown
@sweatystartup
I’m going to cook up a yucky 10 leg parlay tomorrow night just because of this tweet
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Wearing my peacoat walking around the streets of New York pretending I’m Raymond Reddington, international fugitive, instead of a guy that basically just replies to little emails for a living
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Finally found an intern day in the life tik tok. 𝒟𝒶𝓎 𝟥: 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒹𝒾𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓀𝑒𝓉
Romanticizing corporate life hehe!
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📍 𝓢𝓞𝓗𝓞, 𝓝𝓨
“If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day” -Nickelback
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My one dream is to go back in time to the 1700’s and be a merchant for the Dutch East India Company. That would go so hard on my LinkedIn
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“Why do i feel so jittery and anxious today?”
The empty venti coffee cup and 6 zyns I’ve had by 3pm sitting next to me:
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They should invent a way for me not to sweat through my dress shirt by the time I get to the office when it’s warm out (I refuse to wear an undershirt)
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I housed a lobster roll on an empty stomach at 12:30 and I still have a tummy ache. I’m being so brave please pray for me
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1. Bet on horsey with coolest name
2. Lose money
3. Do it again
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