Retta
@unfoRETTAble
Followers
770,950
Following
499
Media
2,217
Statuses
38,217
My book ‘So Close to Being the Shit, Y’all Don’t Even Know’ is out! Order here: #YallDontEvenKnow
Hollywood
Joined October 2008
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‘Twas the best day of the year.
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Happy Galentine’s Day all you beautiful tropical fish!
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Joe Biden is the first actor from Parks and Recreation to become the President of the United States.
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The gang’s all here . . . or will be at least!
"Parks and Recreation" cast to reunite for 10th anniversary at PaleyFest
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Remember when Ben didn’t get why Li’l Sebastian was a big deal.
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Not interested in eyebrow tutorials from people w/thick almost perfect brows.
Show me the jacked up shit. Let a bitch know what's possible.
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I'll never forget where I was when I heard a/b Brangelina's break. I was watchin vid of a cop killing
#TerenceCrutcher
.
#DoBlackLivesMatter
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Poor Garry.
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It’s Happy New Year.
Not Happy New Years.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
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Y’all. Ya girl wrote a muhfuhkin book! When did I find the time?!
In stores 26-Jun-18
#YallDontEvenKnow
Pre-orduh:
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"Mr. Trump. Let me. Repeat. The question."
Girrrrrl. Don't hurt your head.
#PresidentialDebate
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<< sigh >>
Congratulations to
@maebirdwing
,
@unfoRETTAble
, and the cast and crew of
@NBCGoodGirls
on scheming (and streaming) their way to No.1 on our Top 10 list!
Get our full
#SVOD
rankings:
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We’ll be baaaa-aaaack!
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Dat’s right boo.
Spending the day with one of my fav’s...
@unfoRETTAble
. A must read! So damn funny! I’m hosting a Q&A with
#Retta
on June 5th
@TheGroveLA
7pm at
#BarnesandNoble
. Come by and say hi. 😀
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Follow your heart homies! You may end up eating ramen noodles and sleeping on a friend’s floor while living outta ya car but you’ll never say you didn’t try! 🙏🏾
Fun (and inspiring) fact:
@unfoRETTAble
has a premed degree from Duke University and planned on going to med school before making a career switch and becoming an actor instead!
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Yay Parks!!!!
💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
WAFFLES FOR ERRYBODY!!!!
#ParksFoLyfe
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Do you know what today is?
⚡️
It's the best day of the year so Treat. Yo. Self!
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Omigod same.
I’m “can everyone at this concert just agree to sit down” years old
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To whom it may concern,
Take the tails off the shrimp. Please and thank you.
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Y’all issa black wedding and I am heeeeere for it.
I can’t believe I was planning to sleep through this shit!
#YallBettaSang
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I think about DNA a lot.
I used to bite my nails and the thing that got me to stop was the thought of potentially leaving my DNA at a future crime scene.
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Oh Lord. Kate's pregnant again.
Gonna need to brace myself as the media reports ad nauseam as tho she's the first human to bear children.
🙄
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You know these English folk are clenching their butts at this animated sermon.
Oprah on the other hand is feeeeling it.
#SuperSoulSaturday
#FellowshipAfter
?
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For a second I thought Gunther from friends was on the come up.
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Lest we forget:
"I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue & shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters."
#Unhinged
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Someone said there are more people lined up to watch Comey's testimony than there were at the inauguration.
😂💀
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😭😭
This is hilarious but what’s making me laugh the most is how long it is.
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That face you make when you realize your crush slept with Shawna Malwae Tweep.
#Salty
#ParksAndRec
http://t.co/PVTSXzfuBg
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We are blessed.
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5 years ago today.
•
It took a village to get
#RegalMeagle
for her marriage to Joe.
•
#DonnaAndJoe
#ParksAndMuhfuhkinRec
The honeymoon? I wore the red thing . . . He deserved to see me in the red thing.
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Delete your account.
The Theater must always be a safe and special place.The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, Mike Pence. Apologize!
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Hol' up! Hol' up! Hol' up! Why da black man get the play off music but Nicole and Reese didn't.
#BlackSpeechesMatter
!
#Emmy2017
#TheFuck
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So fucking tired of hashtaging victim's names. So fucking tired of pseudo-egalitarians actively ignoring what is on video.
#StopKillingUs
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This is my mom dressed 4 a wedding.
She is Liberian.
She is a diva.
She made this outfit (AND…
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Stop saying shenanigans.
A surprise birthday party is not a shenanigan.
Netflix and chillin’ is not a shenanigan.
Brunch is NOT a shenanigan.
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You guys.
You. Guys.
YOU. GUYS!
(For someone who 1st watched the series w/i the past year, I am inordinately excited for
#GilmoreGirls
.)
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@MBowen619
@parksandrecnbc
@Nick_Offerman
@evilhag
@mradamscott
@prattprattpratt
@JimOHeir
@azizansari
@RobLowe
@iamrashidajones
I’m still not over it.
#PawneeForever
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Really? You don't wanna hear about the political opinions of celebs?
You elected the "Ya fired" guy.
#GTFOH
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I’m sorry. Did they use “entrée” and “Burger King” in the same sentence?
🥴
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You ever run like 2 errands and feel like you really accomplished some shit?
#RelaxRetta
Picking up laundry and dropping something at the post office isn’t worthy of a journal entry.
#NeverthelessShePersisted
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Sooooo am I crazy or does the puffiness under Saoirse Ronan's eyes just disappear...in the shot?
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I talked so much shit about how I wasn’t beat to watch the royal wedding.
Guess who’s up watching the royal wedding?
Glasses on and errrthang.
#WhoWasIFooling
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A li’l
#FBF
to “Whine and Cheese Club” on
#NationalWineDay
.
•
Tom & Donna say “Cheers, boo!” 🍷🧀
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I'm over here fakin' it until I can get home to experience the real thing.
#Went2BedEarly
#StuckAtWork
#LemonSeltzer
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Mr. Trump we WISH we could get another 4 years of Obama!
#ThatAintShadeDonald
#PresidentialDebate
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"If I was president he would be alive today."
You guys.
YOU GUYS.
Y O U G U Y S ! !
#PresidentialDebate
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I literally (Chris Traeger voice) can’t stop laughing at the hot mess that was Jorm Tramolta’s intro 2 Adele Dazeem 4 the film Brozen. 😂😂😂😂😂
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I literally have the TV on mute & scrolling thru Twitter rxns because to actually HEAR him spew the nonsense makes me physically uneasy.
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I bet if Amazon stopped double boxing stuff the wouldn’t have to raise the cost of Prime membership by 20% . . . again.
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Y’all if someone pulls out a broom at the end of this Ima need someone to call the paramedics to my hotel room.
😂😂😂
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TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA! TATIANA!
We don't have to burn the streets y'all!
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Just ordered the fkn dress. TELL me it's W&G while I'm rockin' it & droppin' it like it's hot.
#AllSeemsSHALLBust
http://t.co/fZghyCT2la
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Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat! Tat!
Yay!
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"Enough is enough. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"
#FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes
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I think your hashtag should read
#AgainAndAgainAndAgain
Disheartened by your absolute hypocrisy.
#NoBanOnRefugees
On this
#HolocaustMemorialDay
, we remember the millions of innocent lives lost, and pledge
#NeverAgain
.
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The tissues were at the ready. We somehow didn't use the entire pallet.
#ThankYouParksCrew
http://t.co/RqlaafAdni
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I wish the new IOS update would stop changing my "hahahahas" to HAHAHAHA.
Not errthang is gut bustin'.
#SometimesABitchIsJustGigglin
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From this mess: I have a new found/greater respect for our civil servants who take their jobs seriously & work in service of the people.
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This has me in tears . . .
Fox News: Jimmy Kimmel isn't qualified to talk politics
Also Fox News:
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I type the 🙌🏽🙌🏽 hand gesture 100% more than I actually DO it in real life.
Then again I’ve never flamenco danced in my life but I use the shit outta 💃🏽💃🏽
#ForeverInMyFrequentlyUsed
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I took a shower in the guest bathroom for a change of scenery.
#QuarantineLife
#KeepItInteresting
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