Adam Scott
@mradamscott
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469
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#getoutofrafah
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Dear Mitch McConnell & all those representing him,
Please refrain from using my image in support of anything but your own stunning & humiliating defeat.
Thanks!
Adam
cc:
@senatemajldr
@McConnellPress
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Oh good lord shut the fuck up.
Before the
#liberals
find a reason to deface, destroy or degrade this one, I thought some of you might like to see it one more time...
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As fate would have it, my pizza-making class in Italy goes awry, so the chef saves me by turning it into a calzone.
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$3.3 million from NRA
Rubio: We shouldn't "jump to conclusions" that gun control laws would've prevented Florida school shooting
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New Parks episode in one week! Can’t wait for everyone to see it...
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We are nothing. Have a great week!
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Still can’t believe this genuinely terrifying and truly wonderful thing happened to me. I ❤️
@KristenBell
&
@MarkHamill
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
.
@MarkHamill
’s
#StarWarsDay
surprise that
@MrAdamScott
called one of the best moments of his life... 😭❤️
#MayThe4thBeWithYou
@KristenBell
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$3.3 million from NRA
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The children being held in cages at our border have fathers too. Fathers who don’t know where their children are. You are a coward.
#FathersDay
My life changed the day I became a father. Liza, Charlie, and Sam are my highest priority. Wishing all of the dads out there a happy early
#FathersDay
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This is an abomination.
The new Crazy Calzony from
@littlecaesars
fuses together a pepperoni pizza and a calzone.
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Comedy rule # 1: let the audience know jokes are coming in a few days, after you get some some research done
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For the life of me cannot decide which piece of info interests me less
Justin Bieber Surprises at Ariana Grande Coachella Set, Teases "Album Coming Soon"
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White supremacists are bad at comedy.
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I am proud & excited to be voting for
@ewarren
She is the president we need to heal our country. She is the fighter we need to cross-examine—and crush—Donald Trump.
Go to
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You seem cool.
I don't believe Hurricane Harvey is God's punishment for Houston electing a lesbian mayor. But that is more credible than "climate change."
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Ewwwww
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Thank you
@BetoORourke
Beto O’Rourke just interrupted Greg Abbott’s press conference—Good
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No WAY.
Alex Jones has been accused of racism, sexism, and anti-semitism by two former employees
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Me too.
@HamillHimself
is a genuine role model, a terrific person and oh also he’s LUKE SKYWALKER.
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Wait a second. You’re NOT a psychology professor???
I’m no psychology professor but it does seem weird to me that someone could have a selective fear of flying.
Can’t do it to testify but for vacation, well it’s not a problem at all.
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So the President of the United States is rising up against...the United States. Got it. Makes no sense and is deeply dangerous, putting millions of lives needlessly at risk. Happy Friday everyone!
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This brings me pure, unbridled joy. Thank you, good people of KY.
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Not voting is not an act of rebellion. It is an act of surrender.
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It’s going to be so lit when you’re in prison, bro!
OMG! Just when you thought this week couldn't get more lit... I give you Anthony Kennedy's retirement from
#SCOTUS
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At the Survivor finale, no idea who these two people are. If you are reading this and are one of those two people, please leave me alone.
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Yup
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Wow. Welcome back, Dr. Fauci...
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Just wow. Thank you,
@StephenKing
!
SEVERANCE is so good, the finale so shocking. Thank God Apple+ has greenlit a second season.
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I love & miss Chris Traeger and his doppelgänger, thesaurus of handsome
@RobLowe
, but got to see them both yesterday.
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‘Parks and Recreation’: Leslie Knope Writes Letter to America Following Donald Trump’s Victory
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Yup! Because they were all required to get those other vaccinations as children, in order to attend elementary school.
Vaccines not required for federal employees:
- chickenpox
- polio
- measles/mumps/rubella
- DTaP
- rotavirus
- hep A
- hep B
- flu
Vaccines required for federal employees:
- COVID-19
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No shit Sherlock
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Parks shoot VP residence ‘14: snooping around I found
@JoeBiden
‘s personal photo album of Inaug Day 09—of course I had to look at it—of course HE caught me—instead of it being weird he happily took time to express what a privilege it had been being there that day. Lovely man.
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This is so satisfying. Could watch for hours. Will watch for hours.
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People could be dying as a direct result of you flippantly deciding to be an asshole about this. Step up, then step down.
...Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They....
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You are a repugnant butthole.
Made additional remarks on Charlottesville and realize once again that the
#Fake
News Media will never be satisfied...truly bad people!
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Where to start...“taped together brooms”? How exactly does that work physics-wise? Tape and brooms are not load-bearing. Also, who has a shitload of brooms at the ready for fort-making? Not you, because those AREN’T TAPED TOGETHER BROOMS IN THAT PHOTO.
Staying home today w/ kids?
Plan living room camp out!
Throw a bedsheet over some taped together brooms. Plan a menu & ‘pack’ sandwiches, salads (S’mores optional😜)
A fun activity that also brings family together for a meal!
Share your ideas & use the hashtag
#TogetherApart
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Sally Field. The best.
I like Samantha Bee a lot, but she is flat wrong to call Ivanka a cunt.
Cunts are powerful, beautiful, nurturing and honest.
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25 yrs ago I was an extra in R.E.M.’s “Drive” video but had never been able to locate myself in it, despite Zapruder-level analysis. Thanks to
sharp-eyed RU TALKIN’ R.E.M. RE: ME? listeners, that long national nightmare is over...
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Wow. This is incredible. My family has been watching so much Bob’s Burgers the past few weeks, it’s the best. Thanks Simon!
Last nights special quarantine episode of Parks and Recreation was like a warm hug from old friends I didn’t know I needed. It was so, so wonderful! I miss those characters and that world! (It’s also cool to see so many of these people are voices on Bob’s, too!
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I’m sorry but Chris Wallace pushing back on a couple things isn’t laudable, it’s his job. He also let tons of lies slide. AND he spends a portion of the interview defending himself bc Trump was mean to him on twitter? 140k are dead, who gives a shiiiiiiiiittt
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I had covid feb ‘21, luckily not hospitalized. Only way to describe is…run over by a train then placed under a hovercraft for 10 days? Wouldn’t wish upon anyone. 1st Moderna shot: nothing. 2nd: felt kinda shitty for 1 day. No comparison. Get the vaccine. Please.
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You are an asshole.
Lots of Fake News today. I mocked a liberal who attempted to politicize children as opposed to discussing the real issue which is fixing a broken immigration system. It’s offenseive that the MSM doesn’t want to talk about the fact these policies were started under Obama.
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Can’t wait for everyone to see what we’re doing in S2…💧
Every time you find yourself here, it’s because you chose to come back.
#Severance
Season 2 filming has started.
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I'm sorry what
JUST IN: US stops surveillance of ISIS convoy at request of Russia
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As a FOX employee I’m disgusted by
@FoxNews
and their support for & blatant lying about state-sponsored child abuse.
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Fuuuuuuck yooooooou
Schools should be places where children can learn, and faculty and staff can work, without fear of violence. My colleagues from Florida will carry home the prayers of the whole Senate, for victims and their families, for the community of Parkland, and for the first responders.
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A month with a mask. It’s a slight bummer but not a huge inconvenience. We all have to do it for this to work. No one loves it but it’s not that bad. So c’mon. Just put it on. Good lord. Seacrest out.
CDC Director Dr. Robert Redfield: “If all of us would put on a face covering now for the next 4-6 weeks, we could drive this epidemic to the ground.”
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Ohjesusthankyoufuuuuck
I’m happy to report that Jill and I have tested negative for COVID. Thank you to everyone for your messages of concern. I hope this serves as a reminder: wear a mask, keep social distance, and wash your hands.
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As a kid I would wait all day in anticipation for the Twilight Zone rerun every night at 11p, and had to keep the volume low so I wouldn’t get caught staying up so late. Mind was blown every time. It’s still my favorite show and I can’t believe I got to be a part of it...
Witness the reimagining of the most iconic series of all time, hosted by Academy Award® winner
@JordanPeele
.
#TheTwilightZone
premieres April 1, only on
@CBSAllAccess
:
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Oh my god this is EVERYTHING. These kids are incredible
I love that north bergen high school did alien last night as their school play, so I’m gonna keep tweeting about how great it is..everything was made from recycled materials .. so nuts amazing I’m so proud of my hometown
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Hugs & kisses to whomever made this video 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
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There will also be a big gasp when I fart in your face.
Raised a lot of money for the Republican Party. There will be a big gasp when the figures are announced in the morning. Lots of support! Win
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Today, I
#WearOrange
to give a voice to the 96 Americans who die and the hundreds more who are injured by gun violence every single day.
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We will have fun yet. 🤞
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Eat. Shit. You. Dick. 🇺🇸
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Nothing in this for Jimmy other than helping people. Not so much on the other side. Go
@jimmykimmel
go
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Pay close attention you may need one soon BURN
Really big jobs meeting today at the White House! 3 P.M.
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I could not be more excited about this. I mean I could, but I’d have a cardiac event which would be awful. Can’t believe I get to work with
@RedHourBen
again, and it’s so rad we’ll be on
@AppleTV
Adam Scott to star in thriller from Ben Stiller for Apple TV+
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❤️ u Jimmy
Kanye West went silent when pressed by Jimmy Kimmel about Donald Trump’s policy of separating children at the border:
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This is goddamn beautiful
Happening NOW at LaGuardia Airport in NYC: citizens gathering to greet kids separated from their parents by the Trump administration
#FamiliesBelongTogether
#FreedomforImmigrants
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Getting the distinct feeling something golf-related went down today.
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This is the best news I have ever heard in my entire life.
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