Aziz Ansari
@azizansari
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Pasta lover. I don't tweet much. My new Netflix series Master of None is now streaming on Netflix. I wrote a book called Modern Romance.
New York, NY
Joined May 2007
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Pinned Tweet
Last Minute Tour on sale now at . More shows just added!
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Trump wants to ban Muslim immigrants like my parents. I wrote a piece for
@NYTimes
telling him to go fuck himself:
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Our last day filming on Parks and Rec. I'm gonna miss this glorious cast and crew very much.
#ThankYouParksCrew
http://t.co/aQoNxj6HGE
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@MasterofNone
Season 2 is finally here! Watch it this weekend. Thanks for everything. Enjoy.
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What happens when Andy Dwyer leaves the Parks Dept to help train dinosaurs? I'm about to get insanely high and find out!
#JURASSICWORLD
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#IStandWithAhmed
cause I was once a brown kid in the south too. Plus sure he'll lead an amazing life & I'm trying to get in the bio pic game
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Master of None Season 2 coming 2017. Thanks for all the support everyone!!
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@rupertmurdoch
Rups can we get a step by step guide? How can my 60 year old parents in NC help destroy terrorist groups? Plz advise.
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So
#NationalCheesecakeDay
is trending, when is
#TimetoDoSomethingAboutBlackPeopleGettingMurderedForNoReasonDay
?
#SamDubose
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I'm sorry I never tweet. We're writing Master of None Season 2. It'll be out in April. I did some podcasts if you want to check them out?
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Master of None won Best Comedy Series at the Critics' Choice Awards! Thanks people that made that happen.
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When I was on the Daily Show last night, Jon Stewart passed me a photo from when I was a lazy intern there in 2003.
http://t.co/5dbeUAbGzE
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My new Netflix series is called MASTER OF NONE. All ten episodes debut Nov 6th on Netflix. I hope you like it. Bye!
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Really feel like Mouserat should be the musical guest tonight on SNL.
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Here’s a joke from my special in 4 tiles with captions on it. Enjoy. Full special with audio and video on
@netflix
.
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My friend, colleague, & hero passed away yesterday. I wrote this for Mr. Harris Wittels aka
@twittels
:
http://t.co/M7eW05V4Ae
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Here's an official playlist of ALL the music in
@MasterofNone
season 2 (all the stuff on Spotify):
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I know I talk about how much I hate wasting time on the Internet, but when the entire Internet decides to be super nice to you, it's dope.
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My special is now streaming on
@netflix
! I can think of no better way to thank everyone for their kind words than sharing this portrait of my dad by
@markseliger
. Hope you all enjoy the special.
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My dad and I may have made TV history - there will be more Indian people than white people on CBS when we guest on Colbert tonight.
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"You can't tell me we going to get tacos, then say we going to do acid instead" whoever I heard say this on the street yesterday Plz explain
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Actual txt from my dad: "did U here about. The Earth quake at LA Aniz felt it Harris is at VietNam" Is this a ransom note??
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@rupertmudoch
Are you responsible for the evil shit all Christians do or just the insane amount of evil you yourself contribute to?
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@rupertmurdoch
is responsible for all pedophilia committed by anyone Catholic.
@rupertmurdoch
why are you pro-pedophile :(
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@RUPERTMURDOCH
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO STOP ANY AND ALL CRIMES COMMITTED BY PEOPLE OF YOUR RELIGION???!!!
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Wow! RT
@CNN
UNCONFIRMED: Lil' Sebastian becomes first miniature horse to win Kentucky Derby.
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Hi. My new standup special "Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden" debuts March 6th on Netflix. That is all.
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Anyone accusing
@amyschumer
of stealing jokes is a ding dong. She's one of the hardest working ppl I've ever met. Doesn't steal jokes.
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To be clear, I am not religious and have nothing against Christians or Muslims, just ignorance like what
@rupertmurdoch
is spreading.
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If you need a tweet from me to give you the final push, here ya go - GO VOTE!!!
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Just wrapped shooting the insanely awesome finale for Season 6 of Parks!
http://t.co/dqFS3JK9jn
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@rupertmurdoch
, you're already a vaguely evil media conglomerate guy and THEN you're ALSO racist? FOR REAL?! You're an evil overachiever!
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Anyone typing up racist @ replies, don't risk getting all that cheesecake on your keyboard, I don't read em anyway.
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My dad did an interview for Vulture about his work on Master of None. His first interview ever! Read it here:
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Watch the trailer for my new Netflix series MASTER OF NONE:
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If we could somehow harness the energy from my pointless internet browsing, there would never be an energy crisis.
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Can the team that somehow got the word out about
#FriendshipDay
(also trending) start
#WhattheHellHappenedtoSandraBlandDay
?
#SandraBland
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@rupertmurdoch
Are you responsible for the evil shit all Christians do or just the insane amount of evil you yourself contribute to?
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Larry David was great as Bernie Sanders. Wish there was an Indian candidate I could play, but I'm polling higher than that ding dong.
#smh
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A small note about my dad:
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Worst things in life: 1) Friends and family passing away 2) Fruit flies
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@rupertmurdoch
is Christian just like Mark David Chapman who shot John Lennon. Why didn't Rupert stop it?
#RupertsFault
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Watch a promo my dad shot for my new Netflix special. Aziz Ansari Right Now. July 9 on
@netflix
. (cc
@netflixisajoke
)
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Whoa. Not to be racist, but I just flipped through channels & saw an Indian dude on Modern Family & legit thought it was me for .2 secs.
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Idea to spice up debates: allow fictional candidates, e.g. President David Palmer from 24, Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights
#DemDebate
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Hahaha, well, that's how I feel when I watch all the white people shows.
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Come visit the Master of None Season 2 set and support the Malala Fund via Omaze:
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While
@ericwareheim
& I were in Italy, in between eating pasta, we made a video for "Famous" by Kanye West:
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Last weekend of Oddball tour in Texas. Thanks everyone that came out to all dem shows.
http://t.co/5B1wmX8x0H
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My home state of South Carolina is trending on Twitter. I'm guessing its something involving a sex scandal and Bojangles.
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So excited for the Super Bowl tonight: The Dillon Panthers vs. The East Dillon Lions!
#AzizsFNLBowl2
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If only I could hack into
@rupertmurdoch
's voicemails and hear what his panicked PR ppl say after they read whatever racist shit he says.
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Forgot to tweet everyone should go see Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. Hope it did ok in spite of that. My bad
@prattprattpratt
.
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Hotels should offer Turn UP service where they leave you champagne and blast "U Mad"
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Hey everyone, Master of None is now streaming on Netflix. Go watch a few or all the episodes this weekend. I hope you like it.
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Can someone make a Friends style Master of None opening credits? Best one gets signed poster or something? tag
#MoNFriends
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I miss him so much. I hope reading these stories will help you get why everyone is so devastated about his passing:
http://t.co/M7eW05V4Ae
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New standup special Aziz Ansari: Right Now. Directed by Spike Jonze. Out July 9th on
@netflix
. (cc:
@netflixisajoke
)
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Mrs Doubtfire 2?!? Excuse me dear, I'm gonna throw a party with a petting zoo and blast "Jump Around."
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Thankful my work day begins by having to improvise various descriptions of how bad Larry's farts smell.
#parksandrec
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OH SHIT. Papa Doc's real name is CLARENCE. HHAHAHA. And he went to a private school named Cranbrook. Crowd going apeshit.
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If you're bald and you're not dressing as Pitbull tonight, what's wrong with you?
#MrWorldWide
#Timber
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I hate hurricanes. Go support this GoFundMe to help Care Givers in Puerto Rico:
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My friend Harris Wittels (
@twittels
) passed away this year. Here's a piece I wrote about him for the NYTimes Mag:
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I miss Harris Wittels dearly. He passed away a year ago today. I'm glad I knew him as a friend and collaborator.
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What if Duck Dynasty dude was tired of doing the show and intentionally did this to get out of an ironclad contract???
#AlternateTheory
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Chris Pratt (
@prattprattpratt
) is hosting SNL tonight! Watch it and support one of our finest, most hilarious humans.
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With all due respect, people of China, stop seeing Transformers so much, you're making movies worse for everyone!
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ROAD TO NOWHERE TOUR IS DONE! Thanks to everyone who came out to see the tour. I dedicated the special to all of you. It’s on
@NETFLIX
July 9. Hope you like it.
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If you can read this Tweet, someone gave you an education. Stand
#withMalala
so
#62MillionGirls
can go to school.
http://t.co/ELKnU4jpGC
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HOLY SHIT. Papa Doc choked. Didn't even rhyme!!! B-Rabbit wins. Amazing.
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Here ya go Internet -- MASTER OF NONE SOUNDTRACK (Spotify playlist):
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Really cool of Justin Timberlake to play us all the albums he's releasing until 2016 at this mornings Illuminati meeting. Great stuff!
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New standup special - Aziz Ansari: Right Now. Directed by Spike Jonze. Out July 9th on
@netflix
. (cc:
@netflixisajoke
)
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Harris Wittels (
@twittels
) wrote many beautiful, hilarious things on the show before he passed and the series is dedicated to him.
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Apparently his MC name is B-Rabbit. Is battling tonight as well. Has a vomit stain on his sweater (maybe spaghetti?), hope he feels well
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Parks and Rec's 100th Episode airs tonight at 830/730c! Can't believe it. Thanks for watching our show.
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Dad trying to praise his Nespresso but keeps referring to it as a "Netflix Espresso Machine."
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Want to come visit the set of Master of None Season 2? Enter here. And it's all for a good cause. GO:
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