🐟🫧⭐️
@udonbird
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Oh brother
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look, aesop… we love the fables. but how about something else for a change? an anecdote about your day maybe
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Undefeated
I didn't show Bryan Johnson the respect he deserves. He literally walked away from an interview in India due to poor air quality and proceeded to do mushrooms while on Cialis with a goth chick.
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pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you
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.@realDonaldTrump: “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?” http://t.co/i0mrNDvlTy
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What if I told you that everyone single person is a singularly beautiful mystery, that every human interaction contains more meaning than can ever be exhausted or expressed, and that every human action echoes into eternity?
The average couple. Just both mediocre looking, nothing about their entire existences being noteworthy. They work a boring 9-5, drive run of the mill sedans and spend their weekends watching TV. They’ll have 2 kids, a boy & a girl - who will carry on this unremarkable cycle.
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This app always been good for contemporary anthropology
Young hoes cook everything on high
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look what else my hand can do
Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese don't eat rice with our hands. It's only SE Asians.
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reminds me of the time someone responded like this to my hinge prompt which led to me crying for several hours and culminated in me deleting my ac
hinge sentences making me too sad. what do you mean the key to your heart is lemons. it shouldn’t be lemons.
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Any woman who has been subjected to this knows it’s incredibly boring
I'm not transgender but when I think about how guys hang out with each other in situations such as below in college it makes me so jealous I want to kill myself
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i literally peaked age five ∙ cute, poised, sassy ∙ infectious happiness ∙ big imagination and an open heart
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Can't wait to ask my son “who's this ugly girl on my couch”.
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Suffice it to say, we went a LITTLE crazy at the humanities startup party in San Francisco…
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Threw a party in sf and of course this is what I find at the end of the night 😭
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Dating a man with low self esteem will always be a humiliation ritual. You'll do things because you like him and he'll take it as an ego trip
I remember dating a lady slightly taller. In church, I would call her to myself and she will hurriedly run to answer like a little child, no matter who she was with. She would always say despite she being taller, there's this command and aura I carried and one had to respect.
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I can tell by looking at someone if they’re a British Pakistani or not like they have that very specific look
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Calling things ‘spiritually israeli’ to perform some kind of virtue while contributing nothing of substance to the world is perhaps the only truly spiritually israeli thing
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I keep seeing posts like “Eldest daughters are always hiding their emotions” but I feel like I hear about their emotions quite a lot actually like they seem to be pretty vocal group
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