WE’RE ALL DOOMED! Full Special:
presenting my live theatrical comedy show that asks - when the world is this bad, should we all just give up and die? enjoy/sorry/thank you🧡
this really feels like a new chapter for me. i doubted all my life that the world would change to be a place i could personally feel open and accepted and that’s because of all of you. thank you.
i always wanted to upload this next video in the month of june ..it ended up taking an entire year longer than i thought but here we are again and now it is time
one year since coming out to the world i can say it was the best decision i’ve ever made. finally being honest with myself and accepted for who i am was a feeling of relief and freedom that completely changed my life. thank you.
so i was locked out of my account for a week which was either a mistake by twitter or direct intervention from the universe to make me get a life - either way it was homophobia
being separated from the people in my life this summer has really given me perspective and time to reflect on my relationships and now i truly appreciate i don’t need any of these bitches bye
as a fresh gay i’m looking forward to pride as a party and celebration where i can be myself without fear
as an angry gay i’m looking forward to pride being an actually inclusive political protest so our shit world can get better
it can be both and that's pretty rad
sat next to a seemingly lovely old lady at a lunch today and thought we really bonded but as i left she said ‘sorry but you need to have a firmer handshake or no one will respect you’ excuse me i was being deliberately gentle i’m not trying to crush and snort you janice
this video makes so many important points!
• in this world you never stop coming out
• sometimes people need time to deprogram their prejudices
• we can feel guilty for having a secret despite doing nothing wrong
• the future is looking hopeful
thank you
@amazingphil
🏳️🌈
i would like to formally apologise to
@wilbursoot
for being accused of looking like me - no one should have to go through something that horrible and upsetting
👀mm🥴🤤yes daddy👨👨👦democracy 👨⚖️🥰fill me😵with the juice💦🍹of freedom🗽🎆 i 👀 can’t wait😤⏳to wrap 🐍 my hands✊🤲around that long🦒hard🗿pencil✏️ press 🌚 and leave📝❌a mark🏓💥before sliding it ⤵️ 📩 through the tight🔅🙇🏻♂️dark hole🕳🗳 but shh..🤫🤭it’s our🤝secret😉🔐✨🌹💕
my family spent four hours lovingly making a cake and left it on the kitchen table but while we were playing mario kart our dog climbed on a chair and ate HALF THE ENTIRE CAKE and is now hiding in shame under my grandad’s legs because we’re all screaming
COLIN HOW COULD YOU
i tried to take a break from this app as i find it stressful but the fear of missing out made me even more stressed so i guess we’re all trapped in this hellscape together forever
among us? if pretending to do tasks while everyone else does the work and hiding in vents to avoid social interaction makes me an ‘imposter’ then pass me the knife i’m sus
shoutout to birthday boy
@amazingphil
who insidiously split his friends across five different social events for the next two weeks so he can have a separate cake each time ..may your sugar coma be eternal
apparently this is controversial but you don’t get to decide whether someone is really having suicidal thoughts from issues they are suffering with silently just because you don’t like them
i’m using this valuable time in isolation to reflect internally and grow as a person just kidding i’m trapped in thought loops about cringe things i did aged eleven and there’s no escape
special shoutout to my video’s artist
@SWatercolour
who expressed every moment of this story with perfect emotion - happy, sad and inappropriately funny. it was truly elevated thanks to your talent you are shitting amazing 🖤
i agreed to spend two weeks with my family at a remote country house in france so i expect to either get killed by an axe murderer or we all go insane and murder each other wish me luck
to all my people stressed by new years as the passing of time forces you to think about your life and the future and now it’s the end of a decade which is literally a whole crisis:
here is a calm vibe 〰️
someone in a game just rode up to me on a dragon and said ‘are u danisnotonfire’ and my virtual escape from reality crumbled around me i am truly safe nowhere
the widespread influence of ‘baby shark’ is harmful to the young generation due to it’s propagation of heteronormative family structure in this essay i will-
if you're a young person that has gotten involved in politics for the first time - do not be disheartened. it’s not your fault the boomers are trying to doom us, our generation stands for hope and change and when the world is eventually saved it will be thanks to people like you.
so many years being forced to learn foreign languages in school when really all you need to communicate in any country on earth are passable charades skills and literally no shame
someone said if i want to be fitter i should always take the stairs which i obviously don’t but now i associate all stairs with the feeling of guilt so that’s ruined for me
i was comfortable with 140 characters y'know it was familiar like a hug that kept me safe and warm and i could always fill it up but now with 280 i feel scared and exposed like i've been left naked and alone in an endless void of unfulfilled opportunity help me i want to go back
today marks ten years since the single most important and culturally impactful piece of art in human history
happy birthday ‘hello internet’ i will never be allowed to forget you
men that turn up to the met gala wearing plain suits are really letting all humanity down if i got an invite i’d hit that theme hard and ride in on an armoured unicorn then throw off a gilded cape to reveal surgically attached angel wings and a tux made of bedazzled dove feathers
greta will keep absorbing the salty tears of all the climate science deniers and grow exponentially until she is large and powerful enough to simply carry humanity to a new solar system
watching the students in florida standing up and fighting for change despite what they've been through and all the politician/media bs is legitimately giving me hope for the future
tried to call my grandma to wish her happy birthday and she goes “hello sorry darling i’m having my hair done can you call back in an hour” and just hangs up
um
there is a tall pale guy who has no chill
being trapped in a lockdown with him has certainly been a thrill
you are old af and from now it’s all downhill
happy birthday to
@amazingphil
me, a non-american reading all these posts today who can’t vote but due to the usa’s global cultural and political influence will be affected by these elections:
ya’ll better fuckin vote
the fact so many people still voted for trump shows how badly the world needs real change - the status quo won’t cut it anymore and unless we present progressive politicians that actually try to address the problems in people’s lives this will happen again
as life returns to normal post-pandemic can we please not pressure and guilt introverts or people with social anxiety to socialise if they say they just want to chill thanks
people ask why i’m so calm and resilient in the face of chaos and where they can attain this superpower - but anyone can just by having a traumatic youth and normalising abuse to survive! have fun