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Daniel Howell Profile
Daniel Howell

@danielhowell

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Following
864
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Statuses
20,317

my life is a joke

London, England
Joined May 2009
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 days
WE’RE ALL DOOMED! Full Special: presenting my live theatrical comedy show that asks - when the world is this bad, should we all just give up and die? enjoy/sorry/thank you🧡
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
what a great day to be gay
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Daniel Howell
5 years
this really feels like a new chapter for me. i doubted all my life that the world would change to be a place i could personally feel open and accepted and that’s because of all of you. thank you.
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
dear angry whites - people of colour asking for equality isn’t taking something from you ..they literally just want the same
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
welcome to pride month and remember that queer rights wouldn’t exist at all without protests and riots
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
my most appropriate yet inappropriate birthday cake yet
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i always wanted to upload this next video in the month of june ..it ended up taking an entire year longer than i thought but here we are again and now it is time
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
one year since coming out to the world i can say it was the best decision i’ve ever made. finally being honest with myself and accepted for who i am was a feeling of relief and freedom that completely changed my life. thank you.
@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
Basically I'm Gay
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
old town road remix ft. the aliens from area 51
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
so i was locked out of my account for a week which was either a mistake by twitter or direct intervention from the universe to make me get a life - either way it was homophobia
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
being separated from the people in my life this summer has really given me perspective and time to reflect on my relationships and now i truly appreciate i don’t need any of these bitches bye
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
finally i get my dream birthday of being socially distant inside and all it took was a global catastrophe
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
the box boys are now officially homeowning homosexuals
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
dead inside but full of pride
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
‘social distancing’ please i’ve been training for a pandemic my entire life introverts rise up we’re finally valid
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
the concept of sex is one of j.k. rowling’s horcruxes don’t let her fool you
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
as a fresh gay i’m looking forward to pride as a party and celebration where i can be myself without fear as an angry gay i’m looking forward to pride being an actually inclusive political protest so our shit world can get better it can be both and that's pretty rad
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
sat next to a seemingly lovely old lady at a lunch today and thought we really bonded but as i left she said ‘sorry but you need to have a firmer handshake or no one will respect you’ excuse me i was being deliberately gentle i’m not trying to crush and snort you janice
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
*throws baby jesus at you* seasons yeetings
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
shove an ice cube all the way up my ass
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
this video makes so many important points! • in this world you never stop coming out • sometimes people need time to deprogram their prejudices • we can feel guilty for having a secret despite doing nothing wrong • the future is looking hopeful thank you @amazingphil 🏳️‍🌈
@AmazingPhil
Phil Lester
5 years
I felt it was time to share this as hopefully my story will help! Coming Out To You -
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
i just think lesbians are neat
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
8 years
finally @AmazingPhil exposed
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
i would like to formally apologise to @wilbursoot for being accused of looking like me - no one should have to go through something that horrible and upsetting
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
got more scented candles than meaningful relationships and it feels right
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight and the delivery rider asked if i was okay i mean what do you think robert
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
1 year
quickly post things you’d never admit this will all be gone tomorrow i’m gay
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
thank you sincerely to everyone forcing me to confront my mortality on this day celebrating another orbit of our sun that i have remained alive for
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
👀mm🥴🤤yes daddy👨‍👨‍👦democracy 👨‍⚖️🥰fill me😵with the juice💦🍹of freedom🗽🎆 i 👀 can’t wait😤⏳to wrap 🐍 my hands✊🤲around that long🦒hard🗿pencil✏️ press 🌚 and leave📝❌a mark🏓💥before sliding it ⤵️ 📩 through the tight🔅🙇🏻‍♂️dark hole🕳🗳 but shh..🤫🤭it’s our🤝secret😉🔐✨🌹💕
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
am i a joke to you?
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
commit to the aesthetic even if you are dying in the middle of a desert
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
my family spent four hours lovingly making a cake and left it on the kitchen table but while we were playing mario kart our dog climbed on a chair and ate HALF THE ENTIRE CAKE and is now hiding in shame under my grandad’s legs because we’re all screaming COLIN HOW COULD YOU
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
i tried to take a break from this app as i find it stressful but the fear of missing out made me even more stressed so i guess we’re all trapped in this hellscape together forever
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
the thrilling true domestic life of dan and phil
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
old man watching me duck to get off a bus in tokyo laughed and said ‘you are too tall for this you are like a big carrot’ guess i’m a roast carrot now
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
soo excited for all these autumn things!! 🤗☕️🍂 • dark days like my soul • cold weather like my heart • leaves falling like my self esteem
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
PHEW LMAO
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
😳 haha it’s so sexy how you’re prioritising your mental health today 🤭
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i literally peaked age five ∙ cute, poised, sassy ∙ infectious happiness ∙ big imagination and an open heart
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
can we just agree a single global date for mother’s day so we don’t shit with fear when we open this app several times a year
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
among us? if pretending to do tasks while everyone else does the work and hiding in vents to avoid social interaction makes me an ‘imposter’ then pass me the knife i’m sus
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
shoutout to birthday boy @amazingphil who insidiously split his friends across five different social events for the next two weeks so he can have a separate cake each time ..may your sugar coma be eternal
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
apparently this is controversial but you don’t get to decide whether someone is really having suicidal thoughts from issues they are suffering with silently just because you don’t like them
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
my mum decided to ‘try grooming the dog’ today and i don’t think he will ever trust a human again
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
fact: the most tiring and stressful human activity is trying to keep up a witty back and forth in the dm’s with someone you want to impress
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
i’m using this valuable time in isolation to reflect internally and grow as a person just kidding i’m trapped in thought loops about cringe things i did aged eleven and there’s no escape
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
special shoutout to my video’s artist @SWatercolour who expressed every moment of this story with perfect emotion - happy, sad and inappropriately funny. it was truly elevated thanks to your talent you are shitting amazing 🖤
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
sorry october but your regular spooky can’t compete with the waking nightmare that has been this year so far
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i agreed to spend two weeks with my family at a remote country house in france so i expect to either get killed by an axe murderer or we all go insane and murder each other wish me luck
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
gender conceal party - no explosions and raise a human unblemished by damaging societal pressures
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
i don’t actually have a personality i’m just a sentient ball of playdoh that becomes whatever form is necessary to make someone like me
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
2 years
even as an active homo i still can’t tell if people are gay or european
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
to all my people stressed by new years as the passing of time forces you to think about your life and the future and now it’s the end of a decade which is literally a whole crisis: here is a calm vibe 〰️
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
someone in a game just rode up to me on a dragon and said ‘are u danisnotonfire’ and my virtual escape from reality crumbled around me i am truly safe nowhere
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
watch out world i’m a slippers guy now
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
how do you say 'fuck yeah' in upside-down i need to tell australia how proud i am 🏳️‍🌈
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i tried to meditate and fell asleep then had a nightmare how did i fuck up sitting with my eyes closed
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
about to attempt to change a lightbulb above my staircase so if this is my last tweet i regret everything
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
the widespread influence of ‘baby shark’ is harmful to the young generation due to it’s propagation of heteronormative family structure in this essay i will-
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
happy birthday to @AmazingPhil you may be on the road to death but the light and warmth you bring to our lives is as everlasting as the sun
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Daniel Howell
4 years
🥺 do u think the trees are sad there aren’t as many people outside this year crunching on the autumn leaves they dropped for us 🥺
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
eat the booty like
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
if you're a young person that has gotten involved in politics for the first time - do not be disheartened. it’s not your fault the boomers are trying to doom us, our generation stands for hope and change and when the world is eventually saved it will be thanks to people like you.
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
normalise awkward elbow bumps as an everyday greeting! down with the oppressive masculinity of hand shakes!
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
so many years being forced to learn foreign languages in school when really all you need to communicate in any country on earth are passable charades skills and literally no shame
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
merry christmas if you need me i’ll be peacefully disassociating to avoid talking to my family
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Daniel Howell
5 years
someone said if i want to be fitter i should always take the stairs which i obviously don’t but now i associate all stairs with the feeling of guilt so that’s ruined for me
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Daniel Howell
6 years
i was comfortable with 140 characters y'know it was familiar like a hug that kept me safe and warm and i could always fill it up but now with 280 i feel scared and exposed like i've been left naked and alone in an endless void of unfulfilled opportunity help me i want to go back
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
today marks ten years since the single most important and culturally impactful piece of art in human history happy birthday ‘hello internet’ i will never be allowed to forget you
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
i don't feel 26 but when you consider i have a 16 year old's body and the crushed soul of someone aged 36 it kinda makes sense
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
there is no better version of yourself than when you're around a friend's parents and become the physical embodiment of politeness and grace
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
HE FUXKUNG DID IT WHAT A LAD
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Daniel Howell
6 years
men that turn up to the met gala wearing plain suits are really letting all humanity down if i got an invite i’d hit that theme hard and ride in on an armoured unicorn then throw off a gilded cape to reveal surgically attached angel wings and a tux made of bedazzled dove feathers
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Daniel Howell
5 years
greta will keep absorbing the salty tears of all the climate science deniers and grow exponentially until she is large and powerful enough to simply carry humanity to a new solar system
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
after watching that sonic the hedgehog trailer i would like to formally announce that i am no longer a furry
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
watching the students in florida standing up and fighting for change despite what they've been through and all the politician/media bs is legitimately giving me hope for the future
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
airport security just asked where my guardian is because apparently i look lost and under sixteen what do i do with this
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
an immigration officer laughed at my passport photo and asked if it was my 'tragic emo phase' ok let me into the country don't shame my past
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
i hate men but i want them to touch me
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
tried to call my grandma to wish her happy birthday and she goes “hello sorry darling i’m having my hair done can you call back in an hour” and just hangs up um
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
there is a tall pale guy who has no chill being trapped in a lockdown with him has certainly been a thrill you are old af and from now it’s all downhill happy birthday to @amazingphil
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
manchester used to be my home so i'm devastated to hear what happened. thank you to the brave and tireless emergency services responding.
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
me, a non-american reading all these posts today who can’t vote but due to the usa’s global cultural and political influence will be affected by these elections: ya’ll better fuckin vote
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
the fact so many people still voted for trump shows how badly the world needs real change - the status quo won’t cut it anymore and unless we present progressive politicians that actually try to address the problems in people’s lives this will happen again
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
ahh youtube branded water freshly harvested from the tears of your favourite creators
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
as life returns to normal post-pandemic can we please not pressure and guilt introverts or people with social anxiety to socialise if they say they just want to chill thanks
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
nobody: a tree falling in a forest: can y’all hear me or what
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
1 year
pray for the people that think if twitter dies they can just make their first tumblr account and be fine they are not psychologically prepared
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
i am thankful for memes giving me simple distraction from the endless torment of moment to moment existence
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
same
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
genuinely worried i’ve forgotten how to casually hug friends as a greeting and when i finally see someone i’ll just panic and chokeslam them
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
i didn’t forget the ipad
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
fun fact: today is the shortest day of the year and this year is the longest goddamn year of all time
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
4 years
people ask why i’m so calm and resilient in the face of chaos and where they can attain this superpower - but anyone can just by having a traumatic youth and normalising abuse to survive! have fun
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
3 years
you ever just vibing and suddenly get anxiety about the idea of getting anxiety and ruin the vibe
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
5 years
if it keeps getting hotter like this world war three is just gonna be ‘people with air con’ vs ‘the sweaties’
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
8 years
#LoveIsLove shows how amazing the internet can be to spread love and support instead of hate. you are beautiful love yourself and stay safe!
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
i freaked out for a solid minute because i noticed a weird hole in my ear then i remembered it’s pierced
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
6 years
i make my own rules
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@danielhowell
Daniel Howell
7 years
no matter who you are let's support #InternationalWomensDay an equal society is a better society for everyone 👍
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