Tony Hawks
@thefridgeman
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Skateboarder and 75,06475th in line to the throne. New novel Persistent Wind out now.
London, England
Joined May 2009
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Do people who say 100% instead of ‘yes’ ever offer other percentages in their replies to other questions? Eg “Do you love me?’ ‘46%’
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So, re the Queen. Anyone else feeling - enough already......?
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Becker is expected to begin his sentence at Category B Wandsworth Prison which is 'overcrowded' - all at the taxpayer's expense. Wouldn't it be much better to get him teaching tennis in comprehensive schools up and down the country? I'm happy to organise it.
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Back in Chisinau, Moldova for tomorrow’s official opening of a new occupational therapy room at the centre which was started with my royalties from Playing The Moldovans A Tennis.
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On the news this morning. A family is pulled from the rubble alive in Turkey. People chant 'God is Great!' It does beg the question, what about the 8,500 who weren't saved. For them, God seems to have been less than 'great'. Human beings are odd creatures, don't you think?
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Arriving at Moldovan parliament about to address politicians on the importance of caring for children with disabilities
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I’m on train. Man just approached me and said “Excuse me, but are you a celebrity of sorts?” I replied “I suppose I am” and then he left. Five minutes later he returned to ask my name. I feel a million dollars
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There were times when a proven liar wouldn't have been considered an option as leader of a serious political party. Or did I imagine that?
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I have made my speech in the Moldovan parliament. I got very few laughs. Now I have two hours of other speakers to sit through (also no laughs)
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@RoryStewartUK
@RestIsPolitics
Are you deliberately missing Sandi’s point? She’s not suggesting that the bishops in the lords are comparable with the Iranian theocracy, but she is pointing out how unfair it is, and how it is hopelessly in need of reform. Would you disagree with that? And if not, why not?
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Things that would be useful to Boris Johnson right now. 1. Argentina invading the Falklands.
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Oh the joys of Covid. Getting ready to do a remote recording of ‘I’m sorry I Haven’t A Clue,’.
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In a few minutes I'm going to start talking for a minute whilst trying not to hesitate or repeat myself. Not sure why, but Radio 4 seem to be about to record it too. I wonder of they'll broadcast it.
@sueperkins
is nearby,
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I’m on in 5. Moldovan parliament. Apparently I’m allowed repetition but no hesitation
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The trouble with common sense is that it doesn’t appear to be very common.
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I wonder what it would be like in a totalitarian state if their great leader died...oh hang on...
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Visited an old friend of my Dad’s today. 103, 104 in April. Completely lucid. Amazing. Thrashed him at tennis though...
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They say 'I will await the finding of the enquiry'. They mean, 'I'll give you a version of events when I see how much leeway I have for untruth.'
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I can't get my neighbour to pay for a new fence. And the rest of the road won't pay either, for some reason. So I have declared a state of emergency and we'll pay for it out of the snow gritting fund. There, that'll show 'em.
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I’m proud that my skateboarding has inspired such greatness . I’m sure she owes it all to me.
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Given the mess we're in, did it strike anyone else as rather impressive that 27 countries agreed unanimously to the terms of the extension of Article 50 in half a day? Does make me wonder whether we're currently qualified to 'take back control'...
#BrexitShambles
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I have a robust dislike for overused words in these unprecedented times.
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I'm not sure my twitter account is working. So this is just a rather boring test to see if it is.....Let me know if you're seeing it ok....
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So Andorra get their first ever euro qualifying win. And who do they beat? Moldova. Are the team playing too much tennis, I wonder. Is this my fault?
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From Monday six of us are allowed to meet up. But if 8 of us meet up, that would only be a 'minor breach', right? Especially if our poor eyesight meant we'd miscounted.
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BBC radio 4. More coverage on the passing of Prince Philip please. You’ve barely mentioned it. And while I’m about, do much more of all the channels broadcasting the same programmes at the same time. Wizard idea.
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UK Parliament: Public vote of no confidence in this government and Boris Johnson. - Sign the Petition! via
@UKChange
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"I may be the poorest King on earth, but I'm a happy one." RIP Patsy Dan Rogers, King of Tory, who greeted me and my fridge all those years ago.
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Oh my gawd. In my joy at seeing Boris Johnson gone, I completely forgot that someone would have to replace him.
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I just signed the petition calling on Boris Johnson's resignation honours to be blocked. Will you sign too? via
@38degrees
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I have found a ditch. I just need to find someone who would like to be dead in it on Thursday. (It would be a shame to let it go to waste.) Has anyone stated such a preference recently?
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Do we really need an honours system? I mean what purpose does it really serve? If you only want to do good or serve your country because you'll expect or desire an honour at the end of it, then I think your motives are dubious.
#stanleyjohnson
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Wow, I've just watched this Ted talk. If any of you are in any conflict with anyone. Take ten mins and watch this.
http://t.co/WsjSiGC7fk
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Had a great night arsing around with this lot last night. Listen in on June 24.
@TheRealJackDee
@IAmPippaEvans
@richardosman
@ISIHAClue
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Are the Daily Mail trying to tempt me?
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I chartered a boat today. I’m not sure if the skipper had the requisite qualifications.
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I have just discovered that I have a John Lewis wardrobe. Naturally I am horrified. I am borrowing money from a Russian oligarch to replace it. I will repay him, obviously.
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I wonder if there's been a YouGov poll as to whether Nadhim Zahawi should resign?
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Oh dear. So much exam blues. I can’t help thinking the world would be a better place without examinations. And being a child growing up would be a lot more fun. Have I lost the plot?
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A perfect place for all games. Aren't we desperate for kids to get off devices and exercise? Why do we do this?
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Why don't 'glass half full' people just buy smaller glasses? Then they could fill them up.
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I've got a great idea for a bit of radio. Get a load of people on to talk about the Queen, who has just died.
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I’ve just e mailed everybody and told them I don’t give a toss about their privacy.
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Most people agreeing that Ofqual have messed up. I note that the chairman is Roger Taylor. This confirms my long-held view that it's generally unwise to put drummers in charge of government bodies.
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Don't go to the pub, or a restaurant or the theatre. Instead stay at home and watch coverage of parliament where 650 MPs huddle together in an enclosed space. You know it makes sense.
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OK, so I have a new book coming out tomorrow. Possibly the silliest one to date.
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I have a friend who is a Chief Information Officer. I asked him what the population of Poland is and he didn't know. Nor did he know how many number ones Abba had. I don't think he has enough information to call himself a chief.
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The Democrats are attempting to steal the election by adding up all the people who have voted for them. Surely they’ll never get away with it.
#TrumpMeltdown
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Can you imagine what it will e like for students in twenty years time who have to study this period of British politics? Fun, fun, fun.
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If John Bercow came on Just A Minute I'm fairly confident that I'd be able to get him for repetition of 'order.'
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When are you at your fastest? For me, it's dashing to the radio to turn off 'Thought For The Day'.
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Olympic commentators use the phrase ‘they’ve made history’ too much. Which history books fifty years hence will report on the results of the canoe slalom? And aren’t we all making history? I’m the first white male in history to have made a cup of tea in my kitchen this morning.
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Your favourite misheard lyric? I'm very fond of Britney Spears, Baby One More Time - "My lonely nurse is killing me."
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After The Now Show accurately highlighted the government's use of 'road map' instead of 'timetable' for their route out of Covid, I find myself getting quite miffed each time it's used. Why not just say 'timetable'? That's what it is. It's not that offensive a word. Do you agree?
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Piss easy. I do this every morning.
There are very few people I trust to go high enough over my ramp channel for me to zoom past underneath, and
@shaunwhite
is one of them. Here he is dusting off the cobwebs on a big heelfip as I sneak by this afternoon. 🍅 🦅🛹
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Miles Jupp about to eat a hearty meal before our show in Hull tonight
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@ShappiKhorsandi
@BBCRadio4
Shappi- I am calling the legal team off. Apology accepted. A major newsworthy incident has been avoided.
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7.30 tonight BBC 4. Morris Minor and the Majors on Top of the Pops. Whoever they were.
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This morning I put my cup of tea down somewhere and then I couldn’t find it. When I do eventually find it, it will be cold. Why oh why does everything happen to me?
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Very productive morning. Have written 50 articles. I can't decide what to do with the last one. (Article 50). Should I make it longer? Should it last till June? Or a further two years? Do I have enough foolscap? Blimey, life is hard.
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Ticket inspector on train:
"Could I see your ticket please?"
Me: "Here it is."
Ticket inspector: "Amazing."
Amazing? I would have thought that of all things a ticket would have been what she'd been expecting. What a wondrous day lies ahead for her.
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Prince Andrew, Boris Johnson and Novak Djokovic should meet for a pint tonight.
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Prince Philip. He gave his life to stop people talking about the Astra Zeneca vaccine. Always the public servant.
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Even on a shitty day (and it is), the view from East Midlands Airpott is terrific
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This happens to me all the time too.
Guy asks for a picture with me, woman nearby says “I don’t know who you are”
me: I don’t expect you to
her: what do you do?
me: I’m a pro skateboarder
her: are you from Huntington Beach?
me: no, I’m from San Diego
her: so you’re not that guy with red hair that won the Olympics?
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Oh dear. Have put clocks back too far. It’s 1769. George II in charge along with the Whigs. Very few Brexit concerns.
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Blimey, I made the mistake of listening to the news today. There’s not much out there to cheer the soul currently, is there!?!
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Idea. Shut down public transport. Give free electric bikes to key workers. Crazy? Achievable? Ask a billionaire to fund it?
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I imagine that Biden will be staying in the same B&B in Ballina that me and the fridge stayed in all those years ago.
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In the light of the recent furore I have decided to stand down as a princess. In some senses this is a relief as the shoes were really pinching.
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Radu Albot: a Moldovan who can definitely beat me at tennis!
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It's nice, isn't it, that feeling when you've finished work for the day...?
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The Tony Hawks Centre in Chisinau, Moldova is helping to look after the flood of refugees from Ukraine. I f you would like to help you can make a donation here.
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Thanks to
@NewTheatreOx
for fun recording of Clue last night with
@rachelparris
@XanderArmstrong
@RevRichardColes
and
@TheRealJackDee
Most enjoyable….
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Who else thinks that it's a smashing idea to have the future direction of the country decided by the person who is best at cosying up to 180,000 people who have paid £25 a year to join a party? Democracy at work.
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Was toying with using lockdown to write another book based on a wager, but can’t find anybody to shake hands on the bet.
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I'm told that historical tweets can cause you problems. I'm a little nervous about my one concerning The Battle of Bosworth (1485).
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