“zohran’s wife tweeted bad stuff at age 15” ok have you seen what the president of the United States is currently tweeting at age 79

"Men don't realize the internet is forever for them too"

This was me when I worked at a bookstore & asked people how they were doing & they’d hand me a book about dealing with a terminal diagnosis…

a show about two queer public figures being afraid to date in public. y’all really just let that go the whole show go over your heads

bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe man shut the fuck up. Let me know when Democrats create a $160B gestapo to shoot soccer moms in the face.

andor starting to look like a documentary.

“This is what I voted for.” Yeah no shit that’s why we fucking hate you

Women are taught to be submissive so they could take advantage of us. Case in point: I dropped my car at the dealership for repairs. The guy says they'll need to keep it a few days—maybe two, maybe five. I asked for a loaner; he said sorry, none available. I explained I live an

... i was today years old when i learned i don't read enough.... 😮‍💨🦎🦗 #hotones

Like mother, like son. #ITWelcomeToDerry

I mean this in the best way: this reminds me of the story @trixiemattel tells when she was outrunning @katya_zamo & smiling back at her…

it’s funny that the main argument for AI is usually not that it’s good or useful, just that it’s inevitable so we might as well learn to live with it. even its advocates talk about it like it’s a plague

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive

I have a really distinctive laugh. I went to an @nbcsnl taping & when it aired, a bunch of people pointed out where they heard me. Each person noted a different part.

I had an establishing appointment with a new GP & was discussing how my weight was an issue. Her response was “well, yeah, you’re fat, so what are you doing to fix it?”

Rewatched Terminator 2 last night. Fun movie about AI leading to nuclear war and how the easiest way to kill someone is to dress up like a cop. Can't say its themes resonate today.

you can hate rainbow capitalism for the performative gesture that it is while also acknowledging that seeing its total abandonment to appease actual fucking fascists is also legitimately disturbing

“I could see myself living here” me in a different city for more than 24 hours

Pronouncing “malevolence” as “male violence” in 7th grade will be one of the last things I think about as I shuffle off this mortal coil…