Paul Telford
@pxt
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Medically unsophisticated.
Elk Grove, CA
Joined September 2007
Damn it, I'm having that dream again where I didn't study for the test.
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In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks
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Really awful job by @AmericanAir leaving our traveling-alone minor stranded at DFW all night. Whatever the lifetime value of a customer is, you just blew it. @activistamanda
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Congratulations to Edward Berger, Lesley Paterson, & Ian Stokell of All Quiet on the Western Front on winning Best Adapted Screenplay at the #EEBAFTAs! ⚔️
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DMV made the right call on this one, but only because the customer should be in jail.
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The movie “Zardoz” takes place in 2023, so get ready for everyone to start dressing like this
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“Going on summer hols” is a close second
The most depraved thing that the British do is sometimes calling presents “prezzies.”
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Hope this doesn’t get me kicked off this platform for sharing real time location but I just ran into @elonmusk at the Olive Garden in Qatar. He didn’t appear to leave a tip. #worldcup #olivegarden #badtipper
Duel in the Desert. Couldn’t ask for a better game. Incredible play by 🇦🇷 & 🇫🇷 !!!!
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“Cosby Candy” doesn’t have the same marketing appeal as it once did.
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One thing I still regret from the 90s is that I never had a chance to wax a chump like a candle.
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“Check out this guitar”
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February is the worst month of the year and this man is wonderful
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