Ken Jennings
@KenJennings
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Your Jeopardy! pal. Author of 100 PLACES TO SEE AFTER YOU DIE (https://t.co/pxwTQ2d7lo) and a bunch of other stuff. OMNIBUS co-founder (https://t.co/aURWrO4dAO).
Joined January 2011
Do you like mythology? Weird funerary rituals? Ghost stories? Klingons? Treat yourself to a pre-order of my comprehensive new "travel guide to the afterlife," 100 PLACES TO SEE AFTER YOU DIE. It will be lying in state in bookstores June 13.
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I would like to announce that when I gave wrong answers on Jeopardy, I was being sarcastic.
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Alex wasn’t just the best ever at what he did. He was also a lovely and deeply decent man, and I’m grateful for every minute I got to spend with him.
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I’m better at game shows than Chuck Woolery, wear a mask.
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BREAKING: I have decided to follow @James_Holzhauer on Twitter, since he’s been following me on Jeopardy all week.
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I have decided to fight America's shameful anti-Catholic bias by voting for the Catholic presidential candidate.
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I’ll probably get whichever vaccine has the funnier Super Bowl ad.
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Remember, defending champion Ken Jennings wants you to vote for Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren.
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Can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Elon Musk, but he is absolutely correct: please arrest Elon Musk.
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To all the conservatives who found out today that Tom Morello or Jim Gaffigan don’t share their politics: it’ll be easier to get this done all at once. NOBODY whose work you like shares your politics. You get Kelsey Grammer and that’s it.
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That’s a wrap on my six weeks of @Jeopardy guest hosting. Thanks for watching, thanks for your patience with a tough learning curve. and, as always, thank you Alex. 💙
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If Better Call Saul is really set in 2004, how come no one is ever talking about Homestar Runner?.
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To be president, you should have to be able to take care of an egg with the US painted on it for a week.
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There will only ever be one Alex Trebek, but I'm honored to be helping Jeopardy! out with this in January.
We will resume production on 11/30 with a series of interim guest hosts from the Jeopardy! family – starting with Ken Jennings. Additional guest hosts to be announced.
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In honor of Nancy Pelosi, I am about to get going on some work stuff that I really should have done months ago.
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To the mall teens who saw me running back to my car just now and yelled “Run, Forrest, run!”:.1. Well done. Just devastating. 2. How do you even know that reference.
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I’ve said this before but Alex Trebek is in a way the last Cronkite: authoritative, reassuring TV voice you hear every night, almost to the point of ritual.
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Happy 29th anniversary of the Garfield strip where Jon drinks dog semen!
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When you're winning, you don't try to normalize the idea that the Supreme Court decides US presidential elections.
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Of all the Jeopardy! greats, I've never seen anyone that played the game with the kind of unflappable ease that Amy Schneider always seemed to have.
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Say what you will about white people, nobody is better at coming up with new ways to spell Hayley.
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I swear, if Game of Thrones doesn’t do exactly what I want it to tonight, I will never watch another episode.
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I want everyone to know my family got out safely before Seattle fell. I am starting a government-in-exile here in New Seattle, which is what I call the parking lot of the Issaquah Costco.
Domestic Terrorists have taken over Seattle, run by Radical Left Democrats, of course. LAW & ORDER!.
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When you lose in the World Cup, they send Trump to your country the next day to remind you that things could always be worse.
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Reclining an airplane seat is like voting Republican 25 years ago (wouldn't do it myself, yikes, but I guess it takes all kinds). Punching the airplane seat in front of you is like voting Republican today.
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Teachers are heroes but I've seen them try to work an overhead projector and I don't believe they should have guns.
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A friend gave me this piece of quiz show history: an audience ticket to Alex's very first Jeopardy! pilot from 1983. ("ALEX TREBEK! DOOR PRIZES!") I kept it in my pocket while guest-hosting Jeopardy! this week, as a good luck charm.
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I keep this card in my wallet at all times and refer to it at least twice a day.
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Happy 28th anniversary of the Garfield strip where Jon drinks dog semen!
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My main concern about “Joe Biden’s America” is that Donald Trump is president of it and he’s trying to start a race war.
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Actual photo of James Holzhauer walking off stage at Jeopardy, his reign of destruction completed.
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DID YOU KNOW? Every roll of Neccos was made in a single batch in 1847 and they still haven’t sold any of them yet.
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How dare a Democrat not full-throatedly support the Democrat who led the party’s most embarrassing and costly modern defeat???.
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Thinking today about his family and his Jeopardy! family—which, in a way, included millions of us.
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Not sure I trust the bin Laden family anymore on 9/11 prevention. They are 0-for-1!.
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Hemingway once bet a friend that he could write the world's saddest short story in under 10 words.
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Boy John McCain is going to tsk-tsk about this before he eagerly votes to confirm new FBI director Michael Flynn Wearing a Fake Mustache.
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Have you considered that your thoughts and prayers aren't doing jack shit.
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Going on Jeopardy in 2004 was just a long con to someday hit up Alanis Morissette for free stuff.
congrats on your @jeopardy win @kenjennings. tickets to @jaggedmusical coming your way 😁#thepressure!
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Fascism isn’t when my opponents are disappeared by secret police. It’s when my side’s bad opinions are made fun of online.
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*Barenaked Ladies Guy voice* IT’S BEEN.
17 years since September 11th!.
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I don’t feel I get enough credit for making small, sensible Jeopardy wagers, which helped the show with its prize budget.
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It’s incredibly revealing how police are acting right now, even with full knowledge of how many eyes are on them. They believe they will get away with it, because they always have before.
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It's called "remote learning" because of the remote chance my kids are going to learn anything.
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Spielberg is ok but if I directed Jurassic Park, it would end with everyone escaping the island and the ruined sign behind them now says “Ass Park”.
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They printed me a souvenir at @Jeopardy! yesterday. Eighteen years later and there’s STILL no note about accepting any alternate answers. 😠
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Hate to brag but I didn’t have sex today and still managed not to murder anyone.
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I'm sure Rand Paul's immune system will be able to pull itself up out of illness without any tyrannical outside intervention.
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For all those wondering, this is Nestor, the Cuban sandwich I just ordered (legally, of course) from Un Bien. We share no blood but he is my life.
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My legacy is probably going to be carpal tunnel in my right arm from doing the jerk-off motion for 12 consecutive hours while weirdos with "Entrepreneur / crypto" in their bios pile into my replies to gush about Elon Musk.
@KenJennings The man solved internet payments, made green cars cool and taking humanity to Mars. Don’t make your legacy the guy on the sidelines criticizing him.
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Let’s just give tactical gear and near-unlimited authority to some of the dumber guys from your high school. What could go wrong.
The Cincinnati police pulled down the American flag at the justice center and replaced it with the thin blue line. Infuriating. Picture from a friend.
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AMERICA: We have serious reservations about police!.AMERICAN GOVERNMENT: [invents new kinds of police].
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Might move to Alaska and open a Nome Lululemon, just for the palindrome.
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This was my fault and I want to thank the very indulgent and talented @Jeopardy! writers who made my holiday wish come true.
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Hey, I just wanted to own up to the fact that over the years on Twitter, I've definitely tweeted some unartful and insensitive things. Sometimes they worked as jokes in my head and I was dismayed to see how they read on screen. 1/x.
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I’m pretty sure I’m the first Jeopardy player ever to answer “Charles Lindbergh” when the answer was Courtney Love.
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Sure, let's have 52 mostly older guys who probably couldn't set up a Roku rewrite the tax code tonight on the fly. What could go wrong.
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Four Seasons Total Landscaping will be a tourist destination for years to come. Start making t-shirts, guys.
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Love this new Black Mirror episode where your health care shuts off if you don't make a dozen phone calls to Senate offices every three months.
Senate GOP to add repeal of Obamacare insurance mandate into tax bill
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I feel like a weirdo for still having a room full of movies on disc but then this keeps happening.
HBO Max has removed Seasons 16 through 31 of the classic LOONEY TUNES shorts, removing 256 from the previously 511 shorts.
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I'm wearing the sunglasses from They Live and all of Ann Coulter's tweets look like this now.
BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT.
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Weird how many people who were dead wrong about “electability” in 2016 are still experts on it today!.
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Imagine the pressure building inside Jim Gaffigan for years.
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Look out white voters! Minorities are rising up with their dangerous militant agenda of (squints at notes) keeping a pedophile out of the US Senate.
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I just ordered Mexican takeout and the tortilla chips had a single tater tot in them. Loving Joe Biden’s America so far!.
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"This. this is where the Pottery Barn parking lot was," I tell my children as the car pulls up to the crater rim. "Before Joe Biden abolished the suburbs.".
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If you see Top Gun at AMC, Nicole Kidman and then Tom Cruise individually welcome you to the theater in turn. Real "child of divorce" vibes.
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I’m looking forward to Ben Shapiro not existing.
I hope everybody really enjoyed that 1968-1980 period, because we're about to repeat it.
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Jeopardy spoilers: Alex told us before the games that he had just gone to Knives Out. and he thought it was “very good”!.
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I would love this to be the thing that actually gets Americans serious about health care and income inequality, but I remember thinking that about gun control after Sandy Hook.
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I will kill as many white rhinos as it takes to prove my masculinity to Donald Trump Jr.
It takes a real man to pick on an 11 year old. Yet another low from the left, but they will rationalize this away with their usual excuses.
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The problem with not talking about gun policy in the wake of a mass shooting is nowadays we’re never not in the wake of a mass shooting.
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Let Italians have statues of Galileo. 1. Stubborn, good at science.2. Always knew what continent he was on.3. Little to no genocide.
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J.J. Abrams’ STAR WARS EPISODE IX. INT. STAR DESTROYER . KYLO REN.Actually I like my helmet. I made a new one and think it’s good now.
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In the form of a question, Ben: who funds the Federalist?.
It turns out Ken Jennings' Achilles heel was always the "What Conservatives Think" category.
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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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This is like listening for the last kernels to pop in a bag of microwave popcorn.
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And now back to "Bible Loopholes," our show where the worst people in the world explain Christianity to Jesus.
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All proceeds go to buying @James_Holzhauer a nice sport coat or blazer, and maybe even a necktie.
The top three contestants in JEOPARDY! history will face off in an epic primetime special event: “JEOPARDY! The Greatest of All Time,” starting January 7 at 8|7c on ABC. #JeopardyGOAT
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Here we go.
All new episodes continue on Jeopardy! this week. Ken Jennings steps in as first in a series of guest hosts.
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And may Alex Trebek host for a thousand years. Good night!.
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After more than thirty-six years and 8,200+ shows, Alex Trebek's last game of Jeopardy! airs today. That's more Tonight Shows than Carson did, three times as many Daily Shows as Jon Stewart.
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If, every time you take a soda from the fridge, you replace it with another can of the same soda, you will always have a cold soda. I've been telling this to my kids for over a decade with no effect, and now I'm telling you.
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This is why they replaced him with someone whose family was already embarrassing.
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I'm dazzled by her talent, of course, but also by how she was always so authentically and straightforwardly herself as her streak aired. What a champ!.
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