Brent Terhune Bloomington IN May 3&4
@BrentTerhune
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Comedian. The Field Trip and They're Coming to Get You podcasts.
Joined April 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
ban the books NOW
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Nascar wants to ban the CONFEDERATE FLAG??? I DONT THANK SO
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Protesting Mt Rushmoore??? I DONT THANK SO
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Paint the mailboxes to look like Confederate generals and they’ll let them stay.
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Bragging about a 2-0 impeachment record is like bragging you went to summer school twice.
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$600 won’t even cover Trump’s taxes
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As employers start to call people back into the office, I’m just gonna show up to places I don’t work like, ‘it’s me, Bill. Been a rough few years.’
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They cancelled Aunt Jemima??? I DONT THANK SO
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When the hibachi chef is about to throw you a shrimp
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At this point, defending him is an odd hill to die on. But at least when you do die, he’ll call you a loser for it.
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Tom Cruise goes off on sound guy
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He got called out for not picking up after his dog
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I’m not getting a smoke detector
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Poll worker speaks out about corruption
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Surprising my mom after not seeing her for 12 months
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As a Christian, I’m outraged that Joe Brandon declared March 31st ‘International Transgender Day of Visibility”
My faith is so weak that I can no longer celebrate Easter. It’s one of the two days I actually go to church and now I can’t even do that.
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Leave Lauren Boebert alone. A lieutenant corporal is a rank in the gazpacho police.
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Change Washington’s name??? I DONT THANK SO
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I just can’t believe they acted exactly how we thought they would.
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Spongebob is gay??? I DONT THANK SO
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Keep the schools closed??? I DON’T THANK SO
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*Biden finishes oath*
MAGA: THESE COVID NUMBERS ARE OUTTA CONTROL
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I can’t believe my grandma stormed the capitol
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They won’t get vaccinated but they’ll eat Burger King.
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Tomorrow is Friday the 13th so don’t forget to leave out two camp counselors having sex for Jason tonight.
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Garth Brooks supports Bernie Sanders?? IM DONE WITH HIM
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MAGA gets put on the no fly list
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Costco wants me to wear a mask??? I DONT THANK SO
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Whenever a woman gets kicked out of a comedy club ‘just for laughing,’ she looks like this.
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when a little kid keeps handing you stuff and you just play along
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If I see one more person wearing a mask while they’re alone in their car I’m gonna mind my own goddamn business because why should I care what you do with your own body as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else?
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If the CDC recommended wiping your butt to prevent Covid, there would be anti-wipe protests tomorrow. Just people burning the TP they hoarded and marching with an itchy asshole.
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‘Melania. The soaps. The little soaps. Put them in your purse. And the towels, too.’
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🎉made my last car payment🎉
I still owe a lot but I’m just not paying anymore
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Why is it the people that call others sheep always look like they’ve fucked one?
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Put TRUMP on Mount Rushmoore NOW
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It’s not like calling shotgun
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‘He had a rap sheet. He should’ve complied,’ said the anti-masker with 3 DUIs
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Priests, go ahead and bless those same-sex unions.
What’s the worst that could happen, they move you to a different parish?
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The MAGA Million sounds like a lottery ticket where everybody wins Covid.
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My mom passed away Saturday. She was surrounded by loved ones-which included her very fat cat, Homer. My mom was my biggest fan and a one-woman street team for me.
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Yeah, well, as soon as the NRA approves the vaccine, that’s when I’ll get it.
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TRUMPS tax returns??? FAKE NEWS
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Dear Slim, I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
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Just got added to the TOO FLY list
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Stop violating my HIPPA rights
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Please stop tagging me in this
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It’s January 6th Eve. Be sure to leave out a buffalo hat and horse dewormer for the insurrectionists tonight.
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This is what got Pat Robertson.
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They kicked Lauren Boebert out of Beetlejuice
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Everybody mad about ‘burger flippers’ making the same as them should be overjoyed they can leave their super difficult job and flip burgers since it’s so easy.
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Kamala Harris??? I DONT THANK SO
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Just give those Confederate statues peaceful protest signs and the police will tear them down for us.
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Anti-maskers at school board meetings
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TRUMP beat covid. Prepare to be TRIGGERED
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I'm done with masks. It's not about safety. It's about complaince.
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People that own cryptocurrency
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QAnon: We warned you about all this
Me: What’s gonna happen next?
Q: It doesn’t work that way. We just take whatever’s currently happening and then say we warned you. We’re like a shittier Miss Cleo.
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They won’t even let you into The White House unless you test positive for Covid.
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Today in 2004, Martha Stewart is sentenced to 5 months in prison which is way more time served than the cops that killed Breonna Taylor.
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Just took deworming meds to prevent covid and now I can’t stop dragging my ass across the carpet.
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Even Dick Cheney is disgusted.
That’s like the devil saying something’s evil.
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Brutality: He shoulda complied.
Masks: I will not comply!
The 2020 Double Standard
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We need to celibrate CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
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He cried real tears to Rush Limbaugh
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Stay at home order is BULLSHIT. OPEN UP VEGAS
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Anti-vaxxer: Heard she got the jab
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Just bought stock in Blockbuster 🤞
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*video of the crucifixion*
Comment section: ‘I’d like to see what he did BEFORE the video started.’
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Looks like the character select screen for Immoral Kombat
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Mike Pence has to debate a woman. Finally, he’ll start social distancing.
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Who’s gonna tell ‘em that’s Eddie Murphy???
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MAGA: If I get it, I hope I get it from TRUMP. It’s like a autograph but for your lungs!!!
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The kinda guy that would get bitten by a zombie and not tell anyone
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