@fesshole The wholesome content that Twitter needs more of...

Hi @AmazonHelp , if I have video of an Amazon driver delivering a parcel but stealing another non-amazon parcel at the same time do I speak to you or the police or both. Cheers

SORT OUT YOUR PHOTO ID. MAKE SURE YOU’RE REGISTERED TO VOTE. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO NEEDS HELP IN EITHER DEPARTMENT-HELP THEM. Thats all really.

Hi @Tesco, just wondering if there's a reason that @Warburtons products are continually unavailable for home delivery but I can walk into any of my local & not so local stores and pick up a loaf. The world's sad enough without bad sandwiches

Tories SMASHED in Tamworth and Mid Bedfordshire by-elections. (And I feel fine)

Pour les climatosceptiques ! #NousSachons (redif)

Sean Lock had that wonderful gift of saying precisely what was on his mind and not giving one single fuck. https://t.co/ZXGZ5HbqR4

Paging @shirtsthtgohard

Special Lunar Operation... https://t.co/LzQGh3pk19

Probably a very bad sign if the accommodation you’ve built is considered a fire risk even though it’s sitting in the sea

Another Express poll that clearly needs a wider range of input... (And yes, there's no "correct" answer because Rwanda's wrong too! But there's worse, and even worse.) Link takes you to the poll, bypassing the Express site. Ignore email address request. https://t.co/me1kE9P9pA

Whatever the rights and wrongs of Nigel Farage having his elite bank account cancelled, let’s remember who he actually is

Hi @sewateruk . Just wondering if the reason we don't have any water in tn6 is to do with the 10000 people at @blackdeerfest using about 65000 litres a day from the same reservoir? Anyone checking they're not breaching their extraction limits?

Still love Twitter.

Nice to be back behind a desk for a change...

If I was worried about people comparing me to 1930s Germany, my next move probably wouldn't be to shut down all criticism on the national broadcasting service

https://t.co/Q7WupizNiR

Hey @BorisJohnson, thought I’d do a survey to help you read the room. A simple question: Should Stanley Johnson (Boris Johnson’s father) receive a knighthood? Please retweet once you answer so that we can get as many responses as possible

Strengths: works well under pressure Weaknesses: doesn’t work otherwise