Baby + toddler respecter, movement learner, chronically curious, aspiring 🅱️ of many trades.
I help parents bring Montessori home! Book a call with me below ⬇
🅱️ is for Beatriz - I'm a Montessori guide working directly with families during pregnancy and the first three years✨
Whether you're preparing for a sweet new baby or chasing after an energetic toddler, my parent guidance service may be right for you:
some controversial baby-rearing practices that I think are pretty cool and based:
- montessori floor bed
- elimination communication
- baby-led weaning
- glass and ceramic tableware
- no socks or mittens
- minimal babyproofing
(my reasons why below 🧵)
the biggest montessori pill is seeing under 2s pour themselves water from a glass pitcher to a glass cup, calmly get a towel to wipe up some that spilled, take the wet towel to a pail, come back to drink the water then carefully wash and dry their glass cup - all unprompted
babies don't need cribs! a montessori floor bed is really just a thin mattress on the floor, and it has multiple benefits:
- freedom of movement
- autonomy
- spatial awareness
- easier for parent to lay down and cuddle baby
- safer (no bars or height)
- lower cost
baby-led weaning is basically just feeding your baby regular food (or a slightly modified) instead of special foods and purees! it helps:
- encourage the correct swallowing pattern
- eye hand coordination
- jaw development
- prevent picky eating
plus it's easier to prepare!
on the topic, in montessori we use REAL tableware with babies from the beginning: glass cups, ceramic plates, stainless steel utensils...
babies can use these just fine, and they help understand cause and effect - because misuse will result in loud sounds or even breaking
elimination communication, or 'natural hygiene' is a practice based on learning and following your baby's cues wrt eliminating (peeing and pooping). it's often described as infant potty training, but in reality it's more like avoiding conditioning a baby to use a diaper
this is also a really cool practice to try out if you can! some of the benefits are:
- increased (or... maintained?) bodily awareness for the baby
- increased awareness of the baby's communication for the parent
- less (especially poopy) diapers to throw out or wash
why no socks or mittens tho?
obv if it's freezing, put some socks on your baby! but generally speaking, it's best to avoid covering their hands or feet if the weather allows: babies' hands and feet have a LOT of nerve endings that are crucial for sensory and motor development
when babies are trusted to practice doing hard things from early on - be it sleeping without bars around them, eating solid pieces of food, handling breakable items or navigating obstacles - it can surprise us to learn just how capable they are!
it's also great for helping babies become joyful, confident, autonomous eaters who are aware of their own preferences and appetites
solid starts is a great blw resource:
and sometimes ppl will read this stuff and think montessori guides (or parents) expect toddlers to be at this level of performance all the time. ofc we don't!! they're baby humans! but the fact that they *can* do it and we rarely see it happen says a lot abt how we raise kids
for newborns especially, the hands are a point of reference - some of the only things that are still constant from their "before life" in the womb. preserving their access to their hands (and filing nails frequently) helps them maintain this sense of familiarity and cosiness
when babies start crawling, we often think of all of the dangers they might suddenly encounter. but it's good to take a step back and look at what are risks vs actual dangers. when a baby interacts with the environment and takes risks, they learn through natural consequences.
"While there is more risk with a young child holding a glass, there is also more opportunity to learn and develop respect, precision, and control of movement." read ->
and it's not like children are repressed and doing all this stuff to please adults. gUYS they're doing this happily, peacefully, in deep concentration, to please themselves! they are so excited to do stuff without help and get better at it every day!! they're so cool!
a lot of things we believe about children in our society are just wrong, and a product of our environment. it's just as if we were to classify an animal's behavior as erratic, violent, lazy or chaotic after we put it in a habitat that is completely misadjusted to their needs.
the first time I saw a sequence like this happen in front of my eyes, in a montessori school, I silently cried tears of joy in my little observation chair... all the things I couldn't believe were true from the books and the training, right there before me 🥹
ofc it's great to have some sections of the house be totally baby-safe ("Yes spaces"!), but babies also need to learn how to deal with obstacles. for example, they can learn to go up and down stairs safely if we give them time and space to practice:
@kim_the_ot_
good to know!! some parents also just like to do combo feeding for the convenience which is totally understandable (blw can get soo messy esp in the beginning), so in those cases I highly encourage doing responsive spoon feeding ❤️
@mlgizaya
sadly very true. that's why we need longer paid parental leaves (among other things). in the end what is good for parents is good for babies ❤️
@oneTruthsayer
this was the best I could find on youtube:
the guidance you see around 1:30 is what leads to this autonomous activity later on.
you can always ask a montessori school to observe, they're usually open to it! :)
I have so many friends (~25-35) that *know* they want kids, are in solid long term relationships, but refrain from it due to fear and guilt. The reasons are almost always the same and it boils down to "I think my life needs to be perfect before I bring a child into it" 💔
@realRandomUser
that also seems v based, I've never looked into it properly but have had toddlers under my care who did baby signs with their parents and I could tell they were much more at ease before they had the words for what they wanted to express.
in montessori education this comes up so much. parents are worried that children won't be "allowed to be children" because they are given the opportunity to (and often prefer to! *gasp*) do dishes, sweep floors, hang laundry, prepare food... instead of playing with toys
preserving childlike innocence is something adults tend to think is very good, but for many children it means depriving them of knowledge/opportunities/experiences that would make them less vulnerable and eventually help them exercise their autonomy more
Just snapped at a woman at the pool locker room who was yelling at her 7-8? yr old daughter and humiliating her while she was showering, in front of everyone. Asked her if she would like to be treated the same. Got a “none of your business” in response… brilliant.
if you're a toddler, you should have one mommy, maybe 5 stuffed animals max, and a wider circle of imaginary friends with whom you compound value through long-term positive-sum alliances. That's it.
No toddler should want to "make friends". Big red flag.
@kim_the_ot_
in my country it's unfortunately still very common to distract babies and stick spoonfuls of soup in their mouths, or bribe them with sweets or screens... so even these little steps towards more respect and autonomy feel huge
@SwarnaliMi1881
avant garde😎 although to be fair, a lot of these are 'traditional' practices that fell out of use due to more commercialized baby products etc
I wish people would see the parallelism between stuff like this and public domestic violence. We’ll stop a man verbally abusing a woman, but not an adult doing the same to a child?? Because the child is “property”??
is there any type of physical therapy that focuses on improving people’s proprioception and helping them find the solution to their issues and pain using movement and intuition? because i’m searching for that
@HEPenny27802986
hi! Montessori's Secret of Childhood is a good one to start with :) (not sure if available as an audiobook...) I've not familiar with wharton, sorry.
@macck_attack
once they start rolling over you can lay a foam mat or a rug next to the bed, but pretty soon they also learn how to navigate the limits of the mattress
It’s everyone’s business how children are treated!!
and I wish I would’ve been calmer or more eloquent but it triggered me so much :( and for what it’s worth, the kid got to see that someone didn’t care for her mother’s behavior, breaking the whole illusion of normalcy
@sgntrading
@oneTruthsayer
lol yeah - in a way, but moreso because it benefits them than us as the caregivers... in fact I'd say in the beginning it's a lot more work to give a toddler an open glass cup than say a plastic sippy cup. but we know the long game is worth it :)
@RichDecibels
antidepressants helped to raise the valleys (but also lowered the peaks), then it was like a mental effort to stop feeling like a victim and pulling myself out of the pit of despair. after a few times I could recognize when I was being pulled down under early enough to fight back
Are you expecting or have a baby/toddler? Curious about Montessori? 👶
I'm a 0-3yrs Montessori educator and do free/donation-based calls with families, where you can get my experienced feedback on your parenting questions. Book here:
in almost all cases it seems like an unreachable vision, an act of self-sabotage. you're never going to do something "once the conditions are right" if the conditions you set are a mirage.
have u ever thought about the fact that human beings are basically born undercooked and finish gestating in a social environment? maybe feature not bug :))
we're going to start hosting sunday brunch at our place, hopefully every week or so! if you ever find yourself in Porto on a sunday, DM me or
@exgenesis
to see if it's on :)
Hi friends! I'm starting my remote Montessori-at-home consultations and would to offer a few free/nyp sessions to anyone who would like to volunteer to help me practice + adjust my workflow + give insight. DM me if interested and an expecting parent or have children up to 3yo 😎
@frideswyth
this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Maria Montessori’s book Discovery of the Child: “it is the duty of the instructor to prevent the child's confusing immobility with good, and activity with evil”
@nosilverv
I showed up at the dermatologist with a rash around my mouth and he went "ah yes that's just bc you have perioral (around mouth) dermatitis (skin rash)"
@mfbieger
❤️To learn abt the pedagogy itself - Maria Montessori's own writing (I'd start with her book Secret of Childhood). For more of a light read and practical tips for montessori at home with kids I love Simone Davies' collection the montessori baby, toddler and (latest book) child
asked my 11yo and 13yo cousins (separately) if they thought kids should have social media... they both answered "yes, once they're old enough to know what is ok to post and what they shouldnt do" and then the age at which that happened was respectively 11 and 13 😆👍
among my friends' reasons I've heard:
- concern about the state of the world, climate change etc
- career and financial concerns (usually in a vague way)
- not wanting to pass down generational trauma
- philosophical troubles around the idea of bringing a child into existence
I'm glad my friends want to make responsible choices but I also wonder where this overpowering fear and cautiousness is coming from. Infohazards? Were there just one-too-many anti unplanned pregnancy campaigns in our youth? 🤔🤔
friends does it get easier to deal with the haters? I had a teeny tiny following two weeks ago and it's been hard to adjust... do you just get desensitized at some point?
Newborn babies are awesome, strange, capable, and misunderstood. Read some of my thoughts on how we can better support their transition between worlds:
pls send good vibes my way, I have an exam tomorrow that I really really need to pass!! it's been blocking my mind from everything else as the date has been approaching and I'm ready to be done with it so I can focus on other things
New article up on the blog 👶 My "core" Montessori materials for babies and toddlers at home, plus some lessons on Montessori pedagogy and how we design objects with child development in mind!
I worry abt what language my kids are going to speak. In our house we use an absolutely degenerate english-portuguese pidgin and I wouldn’t wish that on any child lol
but I also can’t imagine doing OPOL bc we’re both native in portuguese. maybe we’ll do the weird time based one
@mc_swooney
it's never too late, especially at 1.5 - they'll learn skills for life at any age that they enter :) you can also start practicing these tasks at home!
@LissBliss44
unless you think his feet are cold to the point where it's uncomfortable, you can add more/ warmer layers - if the center of his body is warm he should be fine! if not get some grippy ones, it's ok too 😌😌
I've also seen this be extended to academics. In a Montessori 3-6 classroom there are materials for academic-coded learning, and the kids are excited to use them and eager to start writing, reading, doing math operations... sometimes this upsets adults that think it's "too soon"
Since we’re on the topic, I love children and don’t like pretend play. It’s so boring 🤷♀️ I’ll play w/ a child for a bit if they ask me to, but then back off. I also distinctly remember as a child how pretend play was a magical space that could only be inhabited by other children.
neurodivergent couple gets a co2 monitor and now all interactions are a remix of "woah have u seen the monitor" "omg open a window rn" "our iq is lowering"
anyone know an unbelievably great physiotherapist / bodyworker of some kind in Berkeley or SF that could help me understand and solve my (musculoskeletal afaict) chronic pain? 🙏 🫶
kinda want to make a coworking - montessori daycare space happen 🤔 not sure if I'd want to work there necessarily, but it feels like something that could help a lot of families
almost every weekend one of my tween cousins has to bring their homework along to a family lunch or an outing and it makes me so sad to see that the kids in my family have a worse work-life balance than adults...
me to myself: "you're literally a montessori infant educator, you cannot retweet a screen recording of 2 tiktok videos, one about screen-free parenting and the other about raising a super powerful gamer baby and quote it 'my 2 wolves, tbh'"
today I stretched, made breakfast, folded laundry, washed more laundry, hung said laundry to dry, received packages, made lunch, ate it, went to physical therapy, walked home, made dinner plus a snack for the week, cleaned the kitchen and that's it!? the day is over?? 😳
@amelapay
bleh I agree. I started ingredient prepping after watching some tiktok girls do it and I really like it so far 🤞hoping it doesn’t get too boring or unsustainable