sydney
@demiurgently
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sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment | alt @demiurgently2
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my ducks? in a row. ordered. disciplined. behaving predictably.
your ducks? scattered. in disarray. waddling aimlessly. desperate for a leader to impose structure.
pathetic.
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from ages 6-10 i was a dragon truther….i remember sitting in the car arguing with my parents like “yes every single culture just independently came up with flying fire-breathing lizards…it’s probably nothing though 🙄”
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the worst lab leak in history was when English departments exposed undergrads to the word "liminal"
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i wish someone had told me years ago that the price you pay for being easygoing is not getting what you want
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the most ideologically diverse spaces ive ever been in were college Arabic classes…a combo of:
- aspiring CIA/Foreign Service/Feds
- decolonization ppl/SJP members
- 30 y/o ex-military who toured in the Middle East
- apolitical linguistics nerds
- 2-3 devout Muslim converts
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lifting heavy weights has produced such a consistent mood boost that i'm kinda convinced any psychiatrist not forcing their patients to exercise is guilty of malpractice
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every woman’s most intimate dream is to have a daughter and a husband who refers to you both as “his girls”
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new yorkers be like yeah i’m into AI……A I’m walkin here!!!!!
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accidentally saw someone else’s to do list and one of the items was “sit and reflect in general”
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if you have >95th percentile SAT scores the government should impose a 10,000% tax on all video games you purchase
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all topped off by our professor who was a recent Egyptian immigrant and the most MAGA-pilled person you could imagine
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"aspiring CIA agent" and "ex-military" might sound the same to you, but the former were (ime) young, slightly dweeby, sheltered guys obsessed with history who imagined themselves in a back room at langley moving pieces around a tablemap of the middle east
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like the kinds of guys who play geopolitical roleplaying spreadsheet videogames and know an uncomfortable amount about the luftwaffe
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if you spend 40+ hours a week doing something, it’s inevitably going to mold your thought processes and personality
an underrated heuristic for deciding on jobs/relationships/etc is deciding whether they’re going to shape you into the person you want to be
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one of the most humbling experiences ive ever had was my first semester at a liberal arts-y college when i went to get my nose pierced and the piercer was like "so how are you liking freshman year?"
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first date idea (keep it casual and short!): bring him to a quiet room and leave him alone for 15 minutes with a single marshmallow
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- brain desires new good
- ask brain if this is desire for positional good or functional good
- brain doesn't understand, pull out illustrated diagram explaining relative income effect & hedonic treadmills
- brain laughs "its a real desire ma'am"
- acquires good
- its positional
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sometimes i catch myself doing tragically departed first wife activities…making cute vlogs of us..laughing on the beach with the wind in my hair…smiling at him under white bedsheets on a sunny morning…
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@nathanwpyle
my addition to the Universal Human Joke discussion: i was born on Christmas Day and everyone at doctors’ offices (or anyone who has cause to see my birthday) always says “do you get TWICE the presents? 🤣”
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yeah im poly………poly just going to stick to one boyfriend, thanks
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what would your job on the commune be? mine would be data analyst
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im not inherently opposed to “fun” assignments, but this reminded me how much of my first 18years was filled with kinda boring, just-barely-educational busywork
it felt like being stuck in life’s waiting room
my 16 year old sister just sent this to me, the American education system is in shambles
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chop chop buddy youre not going to learn how to operate multistate power grids by playing dwarf fortress
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like...what if instead of wellbutrin there was a cheap, clinically proven intervention that cost your patients 4 hrs/week and made them feel alive and embodied and also made them hotter?
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@FourthWaver
i meant to add them in but ran out of space 😭 i miss hearing the constant "people don't actually speak like this btw"
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@abettertake
it’s pretty rude to try to hug kids when they say no but it feels weirder to have adults project their very grave and intense anxieties around consent onto young kids
an unwanted hug from your grandma is not going to traumatize your kids
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how it felt having nose ring, being vegan, wearing chacos, listen to big thief, tapestry on wall, working for no pay on organic farms in the summer,
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i was never formally diagnosed with synesthesia but when the stock market goes up it gives me green vibes. down is 100% red vibes.
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- unhappy if i spend 100% of my weekend socializing
- unhappy if i don't spend 100% of my weekend socializing
what gives
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A hyperintelligent agent made a prediction and just left the room, how do you open?
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my coworkers were talking about kombucha and my boss said “sydney, you look like you have opinions on kombucha”
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that’s him, officer! that’s the man with a certain je ne sais quoi!
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if i were a girl computer and i heard a boy computer’s fan turn on bc he got too hot that would be such an ick…
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“hahaha if i gave a medieval peasant a Sour Patch Kid their brains would melt” ok how would you react if you saw spent more than 45 consecutive minutes outside. what about holding a child in your arms
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i was programming in a dream last night and found out my brain is still running Python 2.7
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it feels sort of verboten to admit, but when i was in my early 20s i would have liked to hear this from someone else and know it was possible: i do have my life figured out, i’m very happy with it, some things are uncertain but i’m confident in my ability to handle them
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have we considered that there might be a ratatouille-type situation going on here
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almost every adult has once experienced “i desperately want to grow up and emulate the adults around me but im being forced to remain childlike and dependent” yet very few of them will empathize with kids about it
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i havent thought about timothee chalamet since i stopped taking birth control. happy for him though
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@netcapgirl
virgin analyst with three monitors, ergonomic wrist rest to relieve early onset carpal tunnel acquired after coding custom portfolio optimization software vs chad “sent from my iPhone” MD
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learn vim. start reading invisible cities. figure out why people like christopher alexander so much. renew palladium subscription. make lenten sacrifice. decide whether dossier diptyque knockoff perfume is as good as the original. all thoughts i’ve had in the past five minutes
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the interactive science museum near my belgian hometown had a drunk driving simulator meant to show kids how hard and dangerous drunk driving was…but kids would play it over and over again until they beat it…giving them free practice at drunk driving…
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you can get this exact burger at any mid-sized city’s local brewery (find it by following the warm glow of Edison bulbs reflecting off the barcade setup), why are people going crazy for this
I always forget he can actually cook not just go off on people lol
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nothing worse than having shy girl software on approachable girl hardware
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obsessed with this cookbook concept: a start-to-finish dinner party menu
with a complete shopping list
that reuses ingredients across recipes so you don’t buy a ton of stuff you’ll only use once!
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babe i really want to but we can’t, it would raise the indoor CO2 levels
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me when the competitive workplace i entered specifically because it was competitive is competitive
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is there a term for homonyms that surprisingly persist across languages?
eg:
"right" in English means {the direction, moral/legal entitlement, correct}
"droit" in French means {the direction, moral/legal entitlement"}
"حقوق"
in Arabic means {moral/legal entitlement, correct}
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we’re all very malleable! it’s much easier to place yourself into circumstances that change you in cool ways than it is to undertake these changes yourself
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if you notice that some of the most cutthroat companies in the world employ thousands of highly paid professionals and conclude that they’re “useless” i think you have an unserious view of how the world works
My mother once said “America, unlike other empires which built the Taj Mahal or Coliseum, spent our imperial loot on useless mid-level management jobs for people without skills.”
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ive tweeted about this in the past but i really can’t get over how good it feels to be on the verge of marriage and feel a little family forming. i had a rough childhood + broken family and didn’t realize i was missing the feeling of capital-H Home for the past ~15 years
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acknowledging that you have limited autonomy in developing your personality is kinda liberating: you’re permitted to focus less on self-development and more on deciding what conditions you want to affect you
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iPhone cameras are great….main subject (me) slightly out of focus….two guys looking fed up with listening to their friend are crystal clear…rlly adds story to the image
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"why does everyone at Hogwarts not seem to care about how the magic actually works?? they're just content to use it without asking any deeper questions??" -girl who spends 8+ hours a day programming but doesn't really know how a terminal actually works
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are there any english departments doing gain of function research
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underrated metric for judging a good romantic relationship: whether going to bed feels like a giddy sleepover most nights
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sex is nice but have you ever drawn the integral sign with a fountain pen
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lovebird sighting in central park 👀🕊️🤍💍
thank you for all the sweetness these past few years, it’s an honor to build a beautiful life with you 🤍
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wish i had a bf who used nicotine so i could do reinforcement training on him…Every time he vaped I could say “i think we should move to Brooklyn” and he’d slowly start to crave williamsburg…
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i love seeing the platonic ideal of a vegetable
Up in Ripon this weekend for the National Vegetable Society Championships as well as our AGM. Some fabulous vegetables on display considering what a difficult year its been
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just one more accomplishment bro. No I’m serious just one more line on your resume and then you’ll feel satisfied and never no one will ever doubt your worth again. just one more little achievement
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@OrphicCapital
yeah i am not exaggerating even a tiny bit when i say that since i was 12 have had <24 hours of experience with children under 5 (i'm an only child, lived far from family, etc.)
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is there a word for "buildings that are cool in the abstract if you have avant-garde taste but you probably shouldn't inflict them on the public"
Paul Rudolph’s extraordinary Niagara Falls Public Library, 1974: one of the most fantastical of Brutalist buildings, troubled but very much still alive.
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the best measure of intelligence is how good you are at getting what you want.
the second best measure is whether you can be quiet in meetings instead of repeating something someone else said a few minutes ago just to boost your ego
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im glad catholicism got rid of monetary indulgences before phones…can you imagine confessing and the priest tells you to scan the QR code and you have to Venmo $200 with the caption “sorry :( 🙏”
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fiance getting mad at me for touching him all the time….what did you think one flesh meant? vibes?
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the most trad thing you can do is seamlessly assimilate to the dominant culture of whatever time period you’re in. all the 50s housewives were normal lovely women who wore the same clothes and cooked the same meals as everyone around them
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mastodon is too discord-coded for me to take it seriously. i need to believe there will be other women on the platform in order to sign up
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everyone pray that this big curved monitor I found in an alley works when I plug it in 🙏📿🧎♀️I’ve wanted one for years
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people into psychoanalysis be like “don’t make me mad or ill put you into one of my Frameworks”
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i keep getting a sinking feeling that i've wasted my life, even though:
- there's not much i would change about my current life & i'm quite happy
- even if i could change many past decisions i've made, i'd probably still end up picking choices that would lead me to where i am now
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@abettertake
yeah hard agree on all of this
even if you’re a psycho about it you don’t have to imply anything about the uncle being a White Male who Doesn’t Get Consent…just say “we really want our daughter to feel empowered to set boundaries, could we drop the hug talk for her sake?”
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my second apartment in nyc was super old, super dusty, and likely had mold
i had near-constant exhaustion, pretty extreme brain fog and probably low-grade depression that ALL went away within a few weeks of moving to a new building
So my old house had a huge black mold infestation that I didn't discover until I moved. Now that I've been out of there for about three weeks, it's insane how much better my health is:
- Mood and energy are 3x improved, easily
- No longer lactose intolerant
- So much easier to
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preserving childlike innocence is something adults tend to think is very good, but for many children it means depriving them of knowledge/opportunities/experiences that would make them less vulnerable and eventually help them exercise their autonomy more
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@_builtin_katie
like >30% of the women at this school all had gold hoop nose rings they got during freshman year
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I distinctly remember the feeling of moving from school where work didn’t matter in an important way, into the workforce, where work suddenly mattered a LOT and the achievement ceiling was much higher and harder to discern than getting straight As
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new wedding concept...all the guests bring a vegetable of their choice....they place it in a big cauldron with broth (provided by the happy couple)....it stews during the ceremony and everyone takes a cup afterward
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she might be hot, smart and kind but if her Hydroflask smells like pond water u need to let her go….
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this one went too far
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