weyland-yutani salaryman
@lsthief
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Tom/cow | ❤ @chaaostheeory ❤ | pfp: @reyaltyy | Yeah, sure, here's the keys to the show. Why don't you drive for a while? | 🔞🏳️🌈
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Pinned Tweet
i got banned for this
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drake: you're short
kendrick:
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both the coffee machine and the PS5 have the same number of games
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i dont have any crystals or sex toys to sell under this but check out this dog i saw driving home one time
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'needed for the plot' is such a disgusting way of consuming art. is everything you ever see just a death march towards executing the wikipedia synopsis as efficiently as possible? tasteless illiterate dipshits at least when the boomers did it was because christianity is evil
A study claims that 48% of Gen Z feel that “sex and sexual content is not needed for the plot of most TV & movies.”
51.5% reportedly want to “see more content focused on friendships and platonic relationships.”
(Source: )
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israel is an illegitimate apartheid state and trans rights are human rights. muting this so my phone doesn't explode
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@RaceplayShawty
Do you think Saddam will respect your character's they/them pronouns like Ronald Reagan does in Black Ops Cold War
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"final fantasy erotic roleplay brothel pimp gets banned for protecting his sex worker" is already an earth-shatteringly good concept but it goes from good to once in a lifetime when you realize that this is his warrior of light
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kendrick is doing sephiroth shit pack it up Drake you are cooked you cannot ghostwrite your way out of this
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blizzard after lying to their playerbase that they're adding PvE instead of just adding a battlepass and a balance pass for overwatch "2":
i'm sorry, hold on. you realized it couldn't happen before it came out and then didn't say anything until a half year later
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"don't sexually harass people"
alec baldwin: this is an extremely dangerous precedent and high bar
Regardless of what you think of Cuomo, this is a tragic day.
Party politics in this country draw ambitious but ultimately isolated, even socially maladjusted men and women who, given the current cancel culture, will likely have their shortcomings exposed and magnified
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muting this now because my phone is from 2017 and its starting to catch flame with all the notifs. trans rights are human rights
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@ExPrinceWinter1
I don't anyone ever accused JK Rowling of being "accurate" when she smushed two vaguely asian-sounding names for cho chang, but point taken
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@Java_jigga
theyre the reincarnations of roman field generals. no one id rather follow to the end. no higher compliment exists for them
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@lmNOTcatholic
Up to a certain point Midsommar is something that could plausibly to happen to George Costanza
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in my mind theyre watching the vikings play on a tv in front of them
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@thelindsayellis
how dare you establish firm boundries with someone who you dislike/makes you uncomfortable
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He is not evil superman. He is Vegeta.
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@punished_cait
the woke left is trying to stop you from brewsing and cruising and coke is finally taking a stand
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@willsommer
these people all looke equally likely to call me a slur, but the context and slur would change depending on the person.
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It is November 2019. I am seeing a Morbius trailer before my film. It is March 2020 and I am seeing a Morbius trailer before my film. It is October 2021. I am seeing a Morbius trailer before my film. It is March 2022, and I am seeing--
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@jaketropolis
the yearly "subway comes under fire for new 'fly in for subtember 11th' promotion" onion article remains a favorite, thank you for this in addition to that
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@DelilahCringe
i'm bisexual and in arelationship with a man so i'm gonna keep it real: that's my community. more importantly, why are you a minecraft catgirl? i don't say that insultingly, just like. if you went to the trouble of making a character why was minecraft the first medium you chose
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@Killafoe1
remember in JJK when nobara talks about how she's made peace with being feminine despite outside pressure from male sorcerors because the only thing that matters is being who she is. anyway everyone should read JJK instead of a series with a stonetoss comic crammed in
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@ConnorMB_onFilm
my dad does this and it's infuriating. part of the reason why he liked top gun maverick was that "it wasn't about anything, it didn't have any deeper themes or politics."
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your thing with john mulaney is a terrifying parasocial relationship with man whose comedy specials prominently feature him lying to the doctor to get pills and getting fingered instead
My thing with John Mulaney is that I know *exactly* what it is like to build a life with a Catholic people pleaser who tells you he doesn’t want kids and then dumps you to go have them with someone else so it’s hard not to project that on him.
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@DelilahCringe
are you comparing the centuries of oppression and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people with me being mean to a billionaire childrens book author online?
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medieval peasant brain
Reminder: Lavender Town Syndrome was real and over 200 Japanese youth k*lled themselves over this song. This is mostly forgotten, but I estimate at least 20 million children were spiritually mamed by the song and now they are the most important generation in the country…
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🤣🤣🤣🤣 they think they are going to extract 🤣🤣🤣 it is too late the glow is going to get you 🤣🤣🤣
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Elon’s answer here gave me chills. Powerful and poignant.
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@HatokTalk
it always sucks when a genre deconstruction becomes so popular that people are like "oh this is what the entire genre should be like" see also: the dark knight returns
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because it's funny. literally, that's it. The Joker does things because it's funny! He's a maniac and a monster but he serves one master above anything else: the bit
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@FakeJeremy2
@Cynical_CJ
how did will smith looking directly at the camera and saying "fairy lives don't matter" and orcs as a blatant metaphor for the experience of african americans in the US not tip you off that the movie is political
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@joshtenet
I think it's more that it's a particular flavor of action comedy that is much harder to come by in the current hollywood landscape because its place has been eclipsed by superhero movies or the abyss media side of things like Free Guy
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@HeavyWingsDX
@ConnorMB_onFilm
what fucks me up day after day is that to their credit, winter soldier and the original iron man do have political themes related to surveillance and the military industrial complex but by the time far from home rolls around it's fine to give a 16 year old murder drones
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art with a story does not exist to execute that story as quickly or as efficiently as possible and art made that way is fucking horrible because watching characters bicker and smile and joke and fight and yes, fuck, can all be a part of making that story more personal!
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@1bronclair
blasted off my dab pen and really wanting to play this. might just hold a controller and watch BB and pretend its me making walt do those things
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@libsoftiktok
someone changes their pronouns and a bunch of people who brag about not being triggered start malding lmao
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i love when an image macro is obviously the product of an argument someone had
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@Thunderblunder7
getting a knockout with a 86.5%-101.7% range got me shrieking like a cokehead
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@MatthewFerrari
this scene effectively ruined flashbacks in movies for me because whenever they happen my neurons fire together and instantly go "I am 18 year old black dynamite and you are my 16 year old kid brother" and I choke laugh
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what frustrates me IMMENSELY is just how totally sexless so much popular art and media is and it still just isn't enough.
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@MarisaKabas
republican party run for governor in two years where she sells herself as a centrist "driven to the right by the woke mob"
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@RaceplayShawty
this is good. through the biker booktok thing female booktok gooners and balding IT guys who recently decided to get into motorcycles are going to create an observable positive effect on reducing adult loneliness
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You cannot pet the dog in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
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sometimes a Law and Order SVU villain just appears out of the aether
“F*ck you. Right in your goddam the mouth”
Streamer Nick Rekieta says he doesn’t care about leaked documents allegedly showing his 9 year-old child’s positive cocaine drug test
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he fucking stickmogged that other dog. other dog about to kill himself
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the AI generated images of Drake were a rare case of AI actually being unambiguously valuable, because I don't think this would be as funny if it was something that hours of work was put into
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@jenbrained
what works for nathan fielder i think is that the character he plays is much weirder and far more earnest than the character she plays. he's awkward but the awkwardness comes from misreading of social ques and terrible ideas, whereas she just doesn't even bother with "Yes, and"
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@KAINENATlON
@mitsukianatoshi
asmr dante unpaid internship roleplay where you just drive him to get his pizza because his license expired and he can't afford delivery
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@ettingermentum
this dude i saw down the street from the white house had some ideas about what went on
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@MiddleearthMixr
ASoIF is several magnitudes more "morally instructive" given how the series goes out of its way to condemn classism, misogyny, warfare, beauty standards, and the ultimate failure of short-term, ruthless, machiavellian power politics. you are a deeply pathetic and incurious person
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always tapping the sign
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@Targai020
entirely depends on if they actually love history or if they're a football coach that liked the history channel enough to spin it into a job. the former are likely to be MSNBC Antifa Supersoldiers but the latter were almost certainly at January 6th
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Ummm, I hate Ian Miles as much as the next guy, but like... I'm gonna go ahead and take the bold anarchist position that people being executed for sedition is bad actually
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sorry for the spoilers for legends arceus but i'm so happy they got in. thank you game freak
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@PresidentDawg
given the number of women that have talked about how he would drive them into the woods and then try to force himself on them I'm very comfortable casting stones at him.
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@bornposting
Feels commensurate with the lack of eroticism in modern blockbusters, too. We need to bring back being scared and/or horny in studio tentpoles again.
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@chadomalley
@RaceplayShawty
Robert Kirkman having apparently never heard of Dragonball and reverse-engineering Saiyans out of kryptonians is one of the funniest things about the series
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Wow! Uni looks so comfortable and charming in that box!
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@GrahamB47
watching better call saul immediately after finishing BB and it was incredible that even saul at his most slimy and despicable is still more grounded and human and decent than walt
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