Doesn't anyone want to fall in love and get married and have kids anymore.

3 beers into the evenjng. I need. a WOMAN

RT @captgouda24: Good points on the Lisa Cook affair.

just got offered $50 to post someone's pornography under my big tweet from today.

RT @maiamindel:

few moments as tense as the time between texting a girl your height and her next reply.

RT @jdcmedlock:

my wealthy gay cousin does this.

how i felt reading this message

felt compelled to make this

finally affluent enough that i can have guests at my apartment who just crash here and hang out for a little while. i hope to become even wealthier so that i can just have friends whom i put up in a spare room so that they may liven up the place.

I still believe in gaylor theory. Travis is coming out in 2 years or less.

RT @julestrainman: Anything to take away attention from the Amtrak NextGen Acela Inaugural run….

RT @Colin_d_m: Chicago is playable in Subway Builder but much slower-paced than NYC. The trains from the north side to the loop subsidize e….

There's a bomb on this bus, and if it goes over 50 miles per hour, it will explode. So it's basically fine as long as the bus is never reassigned to a highway route.

RT @nise_yoshimi:

Can you believe we're only four showers away from Christmas 🎄.

Electric bill was $36 this month I love summer.

My birthday's coming up in 5 months. If anyone's wondering, I want a big package of normal sized sticky notes.