Biggest downgrade in American history.

GP receptionists gearing up for 8am.

Olympics 2024: he’s 31 years old. It’s a miracle he’s still walking. Conclave 2025: he’s 63 years old. Still a child.

"have you been to space?" gayle, i'm trying to live no more than a 5 min walk from a grocery store

Dolly Parton didn't spend her dollars on space travel or a trip to the titanic because she was writing checks to put 150 million books in the hands of children.

I kissed the ground and i liked it

Congratulations to Harvard for refusing to relinquish its constitutional rights to Trump’s authoritarianism. Other universities should follow their lead. And instead of doing pro bono work for Trump, cowardly law firms should be defending those who believe in the rule of law.

no wonder they came back so quickly

katy perry went to space for like 4 minutes wtf is she kissing the ground for😭

And now, a look at JD Vance putting on Donald Trump's makeup ;) (SOUND UP)

Last one out the door at the Dept. Of Education should erase the entire student loan database. Be a legend.

Get in, we're making cursed Vances.

A handy guide:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before

sorry i looked at your instagram story 11 seconds after you posted it but you have to understand i haven’t put my phone down in 6 years

Britain has fallen.

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

LMAOOO who did this

Says the man who got sacked twice for lying, illegally prorogued Parliament, gave peerages to his mates, broke his own lockdown rules and gave £millions to cronies in dodgy PPE contracts.

You're a farmer in your 60s and have assets worth millions. You're worried that your kids might have to pay tax on their inheritance. But you don't trust them enough to sign those assets over to them, avoiding any tax at all if you live another 7 years. Is that not a bit weird?