KB🪞
@kemahbob
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evolution | revolution | joy | justice jokey in the streets, emo in the tweets @focitupcomedy 's mom ✊🏾 (she/they/thee stallion) 🏳️🌈 ✉️ @SChapmanTalent
Houston 🚀 London
Joined March 2021
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Pinned Tweet
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I don't think the racism mixed race kids face from their own families is discussed enough.
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really unfortunate to receive abuse when I should be celebrating what a wonderful time I had with Richard, Angela, Ade and Beattie.
People really need to learn that when they reply to a tweet, all the people mentioned in the original post are tagged in. Either they don't realise or a lot of people that watch teatime quiz shows are real assholes that think their shitty opinions of us need to be seen by us...
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you guys aren't mad at the police enough for me
😬😬😬😬
like yes it's the patriarchy - but it's also the police.
the officer is also being questioned about a "separate allegation of indecent exposure"
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I'm glad this tweet has been a springboard for people to share their experiences ❤️ wishing nothing but peace & love for you all
feel free to follow me for more lukewarm takes on race, mental health, spirituality and lazy jokes about being a horny pansexual 🥰
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To address a few comments relating to my voice on House of Games:
It’s true, I DO sound different. Some would say like a cartoon. My voiceover agents
@SueTerryVoices
sure would 🥰 and you’ve likely heard me on ads and in cartoons.
Good news, I’m available to hire for more ✨
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Thank you to everyone who’s outpoured LOVE after yesterday’s show! I appreciate your warmth and kindness 🥰
We must choose love over hate and fear always ✨
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idk guys, something tells me this is the perfect evening to be alone with my thoughts over a succulent sunday roast in a quiet central london pub 😌
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wait a minute…
*I*
an actual Black person
don’t even feel comfortable saying the N word on stage
what in the clan rally is Alfie Brown thinking?!
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today is the day the world learns what people that have been fucking me have known for years:
I’m hott as fuck and I hold books
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my confusion is… were y’all not going to believe Meg if the court didn’t?
like women are harmed all the time and can’t prove it in court
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I once had one tell me, a professional comedian, that I must not have made it because he hadn't seen me on anything.
The look on his friends faces when I said "your mistake is thinking your awareness of my work has any relationship to my success"
fun AND true
I have spent my life getting on the last nerve of racist white men and I can tell you there is no fact or statistic you can offer that will upset them or get the job done quite like just saying “I actually don’t value your opinion on this matter” HEADS SPIN OK
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🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Brand-new
#HouseOfGames
for the next 10 weeks. Starting with a Champions week this week featuring the family rivalry of
@AdrianEdmondson
and
@tweetyedmondson
with
@kemahbob
and the GOAT
@AngelaBarnes
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the thing about people getting salty at me being on their TV is… by the time you’ve tweeted about your dissatisfaction, I’ve already
1) had fun
2) made a dream come true
3) been paid handsomely
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shared some stuff on insta about money 💰 sharing here in case it helps bring someone a little peace 🙏🏾
maybe it’s maybelline... but it’s most likely money.
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🥳 On House of Games this week with the very tall and very smart
@richardosman
, plus the incredibly clever
@vicderbyshire
, Kevin Clifton and
@JJChalmersRM
.
I was a lil scared, but everyone was so kind (even when they were trying to kick my ass) and it was the soooo fun 💗
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fuck I’m so pretty
I’m so sad for any past version of me that ever doubted
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my kink is being 100% naked until 2-3 minutes before a zoom and getting panic dressed
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if y'all invite me on TV and a white person raises their voice in my direction - you won't be commenting on "how graciously I handled it" the next day.
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QUITE INTERESTING!!!
thanks to everyone who wished me luck! The lucky wishes worked!
as a side note - this show was the best experience I’ve ever had on a panel show set as a queer, black, neurodivergent bae
It’s because of their amazing team 💗
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bringing this one back around 😘
To address a few comments relating to my voice on House of Games:
It’s true, I DO sound different. Some would say like a cartoon. My voiceover agents
@SueTerryVoices
sure would 🥰 and you’ve likely heard me on ads and in cartoons.
Good news, I’m available to hire for more ✨
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goodbye LGBTeal, hello… ah shit, anybody got 🍊 puns?
Ya girl has traded in cool for warmth (on many levels) and I love it.
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This is what dreams are made of. Just a girl from America. Answering questions. And winning glass bottles 😭
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just paid 3000 to renew my visa and stay in this country. So y'all better start being nicer to me.
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having a queen is like girlboss yasss honey slay
having a king is like sire I pledge my fealty
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my mental health has been a bit rough so I canceled some gigs and am running to portugal
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writing topical comedy was one of the toughest jobs I’ve ever had - because America is so consistently fucked up that Black women who write/present these shows don’t get a break from having to satirize *life threatening* news
And we do it all while being beautiful AF✨
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been doing v/o for 3+ years and have just had my first female sound engineer TODAY
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that dramatic period poo when you’re not sure if you’re now bleeding from both holes
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people say they understand neurodivergence until we start neurodiverging 🫠
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racism is so bad that I have a viral tweet just because I said we should talk about how racism is so bad
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last night in a sweaty club bar an adult white woman told me her spirit animal was “a 70 year old Black woman in church” then proceeded to fan herself as part of a pretty good, oddly specific but very racist impression 🫠
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On top of ALL of this - performers of color face additional obstacles that… quite frankly I can’t even begin to fathom a solution to
Real talk: this Fringe has been utterly, utterly exhausting for almost everyone I know up here. Lovely for some acts to have the noms and those that are sold out till the end, but if you’re not in that boat (or even if you are) and you feel like crap, you’re very much not alone…
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I grew up saying the N word colloquially with my friends and loved ones. It’s actually a part of my lexicon.
But I don’t feel comfortable using it on stage. I didn’t in 2015 when the footage in question was taken. I just don’t know how AB *ever* thought it was okay —
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excuse me
90% OF OUR SEROTONIN IS PRODUCED IN OUR INTESTINES
what the fuck
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right! Like he’s benefiting from the privilege of his *image* (WHITE, small build, always in a suit, fresh haircut, clean shaven) — folks project this innocence onto him. But he admits to being a piece of shit in his stand up often so... you lied to yourselves.
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you deserve to be happy
go somewhere you want to go
do something you want to do
set a self timer and run to pose comfortably
be surprised by how much you love the photo ✨
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go on and give yourself some love like this this morning 😍
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my kink = doing bits of stand up that might be hilarious one day in front of an audience that really fucking wishes it would be hilarious right now
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I 100% know I made the right decision for me in leaving that show - and at the very same time am so happy for my friends who are having a positive experience and moving their career forward 💗 it’s beautiful to witness
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Shoutout to bonafide sex symbol
@Rose_Matafeo
for giving us curly hair + glasses representation in the best way ✨
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police have an extra layer of entitlement by way of authority, and confidence in their ability to get away with shit.
And ignoring that as a factor in this case is not right.
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Sha’Carri Richardson lost her mother not even a month ago. I’ve smoked more for less.
We must destigmatize & decriminalize marijuana. A plant with clear health benefits that isn’t performance enhancing.
The news this week is hot trash 🚮
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“every bad bitch gets covid at least once”
- me to me after getting covid twice
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Feeling big blessed ✨
voicing parts in 2 different animated projects this week 🙌🏾
one playing a spirit orb one playing a baby monkey.
May my voice never belong to a human again.
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Moving house. And have officially gone from: sort, organize/ neatly fold and label
to: put, it in, a fucking box, any box just a box, close the box, new box, box, box
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I don't think we celebrate Dr. Anthony Fauci's adorable immunologist self enough. This is for him 😜
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In Paris. So far no Emily shit has gone down but fingers crossed I stumble upon a fuckable chef and/or millionaire.
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She makes me so excited to be a grown ass woman
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I’m off to a no tech silent meditation retreat for 2 weeks and look forward to creating and sharing more beautiful moments on the other side.
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The transphobic comments under this post are absolutely disgusting. Mridul is a public servant working on behalf of Scottish women (not to mention a sweet lady!) and deserves to be celebrated, not abused 💗
New episode alert! 🚨
Creating Our Own World
@DeborahFW
is joined by hilarious co-host
@Kemahbob
and special guest
@mridul_wadhwa
of
@EdinRapeCrisis
Listen here:
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white male nonsense
In Gone Girl, Ben Affleck's character was supposed to wear a baseball cap in an airport to avoid attention, but a spat between the actor and director David Fincher over which team's hat it would be shut down production for 4 days.
The pair eventually compromised on a Mets hat.
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just had a really wholesome wank and I now completely understand the spirit of Christmas ✨
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she really fucking did 🥳🥳🥳
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This tweet is not to be used to make it seem like I am “cancelling” Alfie Brown.
Cancellation is not real
Meanwhile it’s somehow appropriate to signal boost my tweets to the British public
Putting me at risk for actual racist abuse?!
wait a minute…
*I*
an actual Black person
don’t even feel comfortable saying the N word on stage
what in the clan rally is Alfie Brown thinking?!
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I Write Sins Not Tragedies is actually insane
“What a beautiful wedding. What a beautiful wedding!” says a bridesmaid to a waiter
“Oh yes, but what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a WHORE”
I chime in, “HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR?”
What?!
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as if life isn’t hard enough I just remembered that I’m supposed to be doing kegel exercises so my p*ssy doesn’t randomly fall out 20 years from now :/
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JUST GOT THE SICKEST NEWS 💦
my lil queer heart can’t take it!
Stay tuned by beautiful babes 🥳🏳️🌈✊🏾
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had a chat with some friends last night about how thinking about my gender and presentation was giving me a headache so now I just she/they and vibe 🤙🏾
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I been completely off technology with no outside contact for two weeks, come back and the world is fine?
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the closest I feel to being visibly trans is traveling home in drag and let me tell ya… people don’t like it
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finally found a fucking flat
so nice to no longer be looking for a fucking flat
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this website hurts my brain so I don't get on it a lot. hope that is okay and that I can still be a comedian.
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guys 🙈 I have the vid 🦠
I’ve got covid nine-scream
and...
IF I WASN'T VACCINATED I WOULD FEEL MUCH WORSE
my symptoms so far are needing loads of sleep (which I like tbh), body aches, being sweaty 💦, weakened smell & taste, not ONE cough.
Mask up & GET VAXXED 💉💉💉
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going on a 10 day silent meditation retreat and the fear I initially felt has morphed into excitement and gratitude 🙏🏾 ✨
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Like to be a white man saying the n word (-a or -er) on a stage is violent. Period.
And this incident highlighted to me that it’s a privilege that even I don’t feel I have, which I believe was the point of his joke.
His lack of access to the N Word
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it's how "we rebuild what you destroy" rhymes perfectly with "racist, sexist boy" for me
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anyway if you wanna see a real nigga do comedy, I’ll be at
@sohotheatre
Monday hosting
@focitupcomedy
everybody but Steve and Alfie are welcome
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and with the end of the fringe Edinburgh was finally free of trash, though the garbage remained on the street
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Excuse me honey but why did nobody tell me ALL the episodes of
#BigBoys
are available now?!?
I’m really about to sit through these Coors light ads. Damn you
@jackrooke
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Let’s be clear -
#FreeBritney
is not about celebrity gossip or celebrity culture
It’s about human rights and the way you can snatch someone’s away by claiming they are mentally unwell
Everyone should care about this
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described myself as “not really a dinner party ass bitch” to a charity shop volunteer to justify buying this tiny table
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my Uber is Tesla and I feel like this man doesn’t even want money just an excuse to drive his weird car
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I wanna be at that part of my comedy career where people buy my ceramics
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