Keifer
@DannyVegito
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Keifer | 27 | host of @SelectPodStart | he/him | fix your hearts or die | alt for mutuals only: @keiferliralt
Joined November 2011
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Grimes and Elon Musk are the Kardashians for people who watch Rick & Morty
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they did the Matrix on a cow
A farmer in Turkey has fitted his cows with virtual reality goggles to make them think they are outside in summer pastures. Izzet Kocak found out the pleasant scenes make the cows happier and produce more milk.Future is metaverse!
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The 2nd Amendment was written at the same convention where they decided slaves were only 3/5ths of a person so maybe it's worth reexamining.
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you’re laughing. 10 people were killed in tomato town and you’re laughing
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they aren’t protecting and they’re definitely not serving
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do you guys prefer your ibuprofen hot dog or hamburger style?
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I love my job. Me and my bros get to hang out in a cozy research base in Antarctica. How can this place get any better? Oh fuck yeah a dog just showed up
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this feels like a biblical evil. this would be the kind of thing that makes you momentarily understand why people in ancient times thought mixing fabrics would damn you to hell. it’s not morally wrong to do this but it feels wrong and it doesn’t make sense and it scares me
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highly recommend owning a cat because it makes dealing with every negative emotion a little bit easier. it’s difficult to feel the full weight of crushing reality when a little freak is doing olympic laps around your home after taking a loud shit
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If someone said something that specific to me when I was 12 I’d believe them
Timothée Chalamet: "If you would've told me when I was 12 years old watching the Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka that I'd get to be here in Tokyo promoting this movie as Willy Wonka, standing next to Hugh Grant, I would've told you you were lying."
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for $3500 you can get shinigami eyes for pasta
This was the first frame from an Apple Vision Pro review that made me believe we’re all going to be using and leaning into spacial computing soon enough. It always comes back to timers.
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No one else did it like Satoshi Kon
Whats the best four film run a director ever had?
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RIP Akira Toriyama. you were so good at drawing fits man. the best to ever do it
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Aang’s arc is that he’s the reluctant hero who wants to be a kid and all these “detours” underlined how omnipresent the Fire Nation’s colonialism has become in the 100 years he was frozen. these were necessary episodes that built urgency and momentum and paid off later on
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man I’m starting to feel legitimately bad for Randall Park because he’s had a tv series, wrote and starred in his own movie, is a regular in the MCU, and is a better actor than Krasinski but everyone’s still like “haha Asian Jim”
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One of my favorite things about Hideo Kojima is how he is not a smoker and yet he is constantly innovating new ways for smoking to look cool
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norman osborn: thank you for curing me of my goblin brain, peter. now I can go back to what I was doing before. making billions building weapons for the united states military
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my parents have been divorced for 20 years and whenever I asked them if they had any good times together, both replied with “seeing Oh Brother Where Art Thou in theaters” which is a testament to how good that movie is and how bad their marriage was
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“filler episodes” was a term mainly used in anime circles to describe episodes with material that wasn’t in the manga and now it’s used broadly to describe any moment in a series where the main plot isn’t progressing. It’s becoming a tiresome way of viewing entertainment
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yeah Top Gun is propaganda. I’m taking a propa ganda at Jennifer Connelly
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Imagine being so privileged that someone's racism is seen as a minor character flaw rather than an absolute deal breaker to run a country.
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the core concept behind Dragon Ball Z is the coolest thing that ever happened. you’re following this magic monkey kid for years and after almost 200 chapters he suddenly learns that he is an alien and the twist fundamentally changes the series so much it needs a new name
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seriously don’t know how the “VOTE” people aren’t completely embarrassed right now. everything you threatened us with is happening. you won the election and lost everything else
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Morning shower people: how does it feel to sleep in your filth every night? What is it like knowing the grime of everything you’ve done this week is fermenting in your sheets? Do you ever feel clean?
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Ugh. I had to look it up to be sure but it’s true. Google “40% police” so you can see for yourself
‘MY POLICEMAN’ debuts with 40% on Rotten Tomatoes from 25 reviews.
Read our review:
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it took a few months for it to pay off but this is the funniest thing amy schumer ever said
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Jerry plotline: this girl I’ve been seeing is beautiful, but she chews with her mouth open
Kramer plotline:
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first base: retweeting their tweet
second base: dms
third base: making a playlist
home run: one of you gets busier in life and responds less frequently and the other person finds someone else to get attention from
grand slam: viewing each other’s insta stories until you die
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Breaking: Former teen mayor of Partridge, Minnesota seen campaigning for Hillary Clinton.
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movies used to be about putting Nicholas Hoult in an absurd amount of makeup to play a little freak
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Elon Musk may be a libertarian but he’s begging for 8 dollars with the intensity of a lifelong democratic senator
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critique of Bernie from the left is like “he should’ve been more aggressive & unfortunately many of his policies are still within a capitalist framework” & critique of Bernie from liberals is like “he crossed his legs which in 17th century France suggested hatred towards someone”
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Rian Johnson: the force is all around us, it doesn’t belong to any single person or ideology. the force is a part of everyone and a powerful force user can come from anywhere
JJ Abrams: the force is stored in the balls
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Zionist Man Receives Two-State Solution From Now Ex-Wife
🚨 BREAKING: Senator John Fetterman's wife Gisele deletes all pictures with him on social media.
According to reports she is currently single.
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me every time gunfire or an explosion was used as lighting in The Batman
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if you have time to lean, you have time to clean
There were 30 cops, literally, in my subway station last night. Just standing there in a vast crowd, getting paid overtime. This is why libraries are closing on weekends and public schools are falling apart
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JJ Abrams: we’ll be taking audience questions *points at me* yes, you?
Me: hi. in the dameron comics it’s established that poe’s parents were rebel war heroes but in TROS you decided to make the latino character into a former drug dealer so I guess my question is what the fuck?
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[John Wick at a GameStop]
John Wick: I’m looking for a copy of Battletoads
Employee: I’m sorry, we don’t sell that here
John Wick: [smacks a coin onto the counter] you sure?
Employee: [smiling wryly] Mega Drive or NES version, Mr. Wick?
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It sucks you have to filter your political analysis through pop culture because you aren’t good at analyzing that either. Yoda had to exile himself because his actions led to the rise of the Empire and the genocide of Jedi. You’re stupid in two languages
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if you came out as trans to most Dragon Ball characters, they’d say something like “Transformation is a technique that only the strongest warriors can achieve. You must be getting stronger every day.” and then they’d give you a thumbs up
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reminder that this isn’t remotely affiliated with the white house in anyway and it’s just some weirdo pretending to be the president’s dog
🐾🎄1/2 I am just a 3 months old puppy and newly pawppointed
#DOTUS
, but I pawssure you all that my parents did not “abandon” Major. Oh my paw! They would never do that. They pawdore Major. Dad
@POTUS
& mom
@FLOTUS
= the kindest ♥️s. Woauf Uf! -
#Commander
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I understand why some people feel as if Glazer didn’t say enough, but the fact he was the only one on stage who said anything about Gaza, and that he said this while his movie is still showing here and in Israel, takes tremendous courage. He’s refusing to let his work be co-opted
Jonathon Glazer -- "Right now we stand here as men who refuse their Jewishness and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation which has led to conflict for so many innocent people"
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don’t think the Chaya Raichik video will change much because her audience is exclusively morons but it is a perfect example of how the vast majority of bigots completely buckle under the weight of being asked a few variations of “what do you mean?”
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I cried earlier today and all three of my cats laid with me to comfort me. Now they’re all ganging up on me and knocking things over because they want early dinner. We can communicate our love for each other but I can’t make them understand that dinner is always at 8
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on one hand Rosemary Harris was the heart of the Raimi trilogy and delivered a grounded, emotional performance in a heightened universe but on the other hand Marisa Tomei bark bark bark bark bark awooga
Andrew this, Tobey that,, at least we can all agree on the best aunt May
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I know season 4 of Arrested Development wasn’t very good but this is still one of my favorite jokes ever
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Nicole Kidman has done so much to normalize going to the movies alone
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[Hulk video game, 2032]
Hulk: HULK INVESTIGATE CRIME SCENE.
tutorial pop-in: Hulk has Gamma Vision that allows him to see Crime Particles that aren’t visible to the naked eye. tap R3 to activate Gamma Vision and scan for Crime Particles
HULK: HULK FIND TRAIL. HULK FOLLOW.
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Reverend Mother: this Feyd Rautha…can we fix him?
Lady Fenrig: No, Reverend Mother
Reverend Mother: did you let him hit it anyway?
Lady Fenrig: Yes, Reverend Mother
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for reasons I cannot articulate, I think it’s very funny that Edgar Allen Poe lived in places like Richmond and Baltimore his entire life. like yeah that makes sense. I get why he was like that now
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This shot is brilliant and should be shown in any film study class
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me, an empath, after watching Wile E Coyote hurt himself after trying to run into the painted tunnel
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therapist: early 2010s tumblr isn’t real it can’t hurt you
early 2010s tumblr:
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oh, the Ant-Man trailer is out? I’m so burnt out on Marvel and their glorified cameo fest-OH SHIT
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Lin Manuel Miranda: maybe babies won't be forcibly birthed by matey's gravy with scabies and rabies if this country north of Haiti elected some leading ladies! lemme pass it to milady while I play ukelele!
Amanda Palmer: here is every slur I know in alphabetical order
lin manuel miranda & amanda palmer broadway musical about roe v wade
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[pitching the works of Nathan Fielder to a friend] okay so first imagine Borat but instead he has autism
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the comments are driving me crazy. his partner is being realistic about what he can achieve by himself (buying and wrapping 25 books you think your partner would want is SO MUCH) and offering solutions, meanwhile this guy is recording their conversations and being manipulative
That realization that your partner doesn't really like you<<<<<<<<<<<<
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the plan? develop an app that would be used to track the results of the iowa caucus that crashes so they can’t announce a winner
Three different sources say a firm called "Shadow" developed the Iowa Dem caucus app. They haven't responded to comment, neither has Iowa Dem Party. The firm was paid by both Nevada & Iowa Democratic Party, disclosures show. Also by Mayor Pete's campaign.
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Getting some action through a popcorn bucket has been a staple of the movie-going experience for decades. The plan? Boost concession sales by offering a self-pleasure bucket so people who see movies alone can have fun too
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people who think Nathan Fielder is too manipulative or cruel to other people clearly don’t understand that there is no one Nathan is more cruel to than himself
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I hope Alan Moore was proud of himself when he wrote “I already did it 35 minutes ago” because it’s one of the hardest things anyone’s ever written
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they’re euthanizing him
Dunkin’ has announced that the coffee chain is “retiring” its Dunkaccino beverages after 23 years on the menu
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I don’t care if I have micro plastics in my body. You know what else is in there? Love. Joy. Kindness. They will take care of the micro plastics
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⚠️THIS CELEBRITY HAS BEEN MARKED SAFE FROM REBECCA FERGUSON⚠️
Emily Blunt DENIES being unnamed co-star who shouted at Rebecca Ferguson: Girl On The Train star's spokesman says pair 'are friends with nothing but love between them' as mystery deepens
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If you LIBERALS think Santa is a WOMAN then explain why he only shows up in our lives once a year gives us gifts thinking it’s the same as showing affection? sounds like a man to me
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you can’t make me pretend those movies were good
Will not be involved in rehabilitating The Hobbit movies but you can all have fun
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We live in a culture that promotes constant consumption where people are totally clueless about how the things they consume are made. Barbie discourse is a byproduct of that
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beat Sebulba in the boonta eve classic
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I don’t understand how every American isn’t radicalized by open enrollment season
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just one more thing. you told me that you think ska music is lame, and you’re certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter, but I see you own a physical copy of London Calling. on vinyl no less. it’s been eating at me. what do you think is going on in some of those songs?
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it’s nuts how the Florence + The Machine’s version of Stand By Me is one of the loveliest covers of a song ever and it was made specifically for Final Fantasy XV. it’s a game about hanging out with the boys and now they play that song at weddings
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at some point we turned our leisure time into a competition to absorb the most content possible and now our brains are fucked up
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well Jared Leto is extremely difficult to work with, makes the cast and crew uncomfortable, and is almost certainly a pedophile but at the end of the day he’s also a bad actor
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oh my god she killed them all
Inside the Capitol this morning where Speaker Pelosi usually walks to her office.
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[John Wick pulling up to a McDonald’s]
John Wick: can I get a number 15?
Voice Box: excellent choice, sir
[menu rotates to reveal a wall of pistols]
John Wick: and can I get extra ketchup in the bag?
Voice Box: of course
[menu rotates again to reveal a wall of rifles]
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Elizabeth Warren has gone from a distant second choice for me to an actively malicious presence in the field
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THE KOJIMA RETWEET NO FUCKING WAY DUDE
One of my favorite things about Hideo Kojima is how he is not a smoker and yet he is constantly innovating new ways for smoking to look cool
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I know people say “this appeared to me in a dream” a lot but this actually appeared to me in a dream
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Age of Consent by New Order is one of the greatest songs of all time with one of the most unfortunate names of all time
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Pierre’s Cowboy Bebop rant. He’s just like me fr
One of my favorite old Conan bits was when they'd let their show's graphic designer come out in a recliner and awkwardly rant about something extremely nerdy for two straight minutes.
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Viggo was on top of the world after the Lord of the Rings movies and could’ve done anything he wanted to for the rest of his life and he chose to freak it with David Cronenberg. a blessing in a messy world
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