Kate
@katebarstool
Followers
142,212
Following
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Media
10,669
Statuses
42,529
pod: @zeroblog30 🇺🇸 / blog: @barstoolsports 🚀 / 10x: @barstoolyak / jeans: mom / sons: advanced / chef boyardee: enthusiast / she: her / go: birds 🦅
Chicago, IL
Joined May 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Got the 4 smoothest lips in all of North Jersey now.
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Brave: Woman who made out w/ Sam Darnold this weekend comes forward
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when u & ur buddies conspire to have a sleepover & all ur moms say yes
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Is this… the worst tweet of all time?
🐾 I am pawmpletely exhausted. I can not rest well, the nom noms don’t taste right anymore and the zoomies don’t bring me joy. All I think about are my furry friends in
#Ukraine
🇺🇦 and all the hoomans who are being bombed and murdered. I wish I had more pawer, my heart is broken.
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Good morning from all 9.94lbs of Buckshot Alpha-Force Cassidy. We are over the moon in love 🌙 ❤️
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What if it's not about football & Tom & Giselle are just getting divorced for the usual reason, things the kids did wrong
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Only 1 of these women washes their hands and the answer will SHOCK you
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Aaron Rodgers: "The bullshit that has nothing to do with winning, needs to get out of the building."
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Just
@stoolpresidente
casually, quietly writing out a personal check for $91,000 to
@HeadstrongProj
, which will provide fast, red-tape free, cost free, top notch mental health care to dozens of veterans in need.
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Bengals helmets make me want a Lil Debbie zebra cake real bad
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’FYI: You’re unfunny & I hate you.’ - random guys in my DMs who still follow me for some reason 🧐
I think sometimes unhappy ppl use DMs as their “scream into the void”, not realizing the void is just a 33 y/o divorced lady trying to catch up on Schitt’s Creek in peace
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Bad news for everyone in the mini golf tournament today. I woke up this morning.
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@pete_schultz
@DevinRuic
This is as good a time as any to tell you that my cat hates me for playing your dog singing along to the Law & Order theme song every time he hears it.
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man, the NFL has a real hotel camera problem.
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As a PFC in the USMC I had an abortion. I’m not embarrassed & have never regretted it. I am 1 in 4. It is your mothers, sisters, coworkers, friends, spouses -tho u may not know bc we’ve been made 2 feel afraid. It is a normal healthcare decision we make for endless valid reasons.
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When people correlate kneeling = disrespecting the flag = disrespecting the troops = shitting on WWII veterans, etc.. I think they have a very, very whitewashed idea of who is serving & has served this country.
Highlight:
@readdanwrite
asks
@drewbrees
what the star NFL quarterback thinks about "players kneeling again when the NFL season starts."
@drewbrees
: “I will never agree with anybody disrespecting the flag of the United States of America or our country.”
Full exchange:
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People might get upset at the way they hire here but I remember the text *I* got 2 years ago, how excited I was & how much I love it here 🥰❤️
#WorthIt
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As an Eagles fan stuck living in the meadowlands I felt this was my civic duty. They are never going to recover from this.
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Timeline cleanser: A full, consecutive 30 seconds of
@NjTank99
not thinking about and/or mentioning the New York Mets
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I didn’t realize we were lowering any standard when we were going outside the wire every day doing exactly what our country asked of us. (u grifter ass clownfuck never served head ass)
This is pathetic. Even volunteer women in the military cause the standards to be reduced. These Republicans are from bright red states & this is what we get… in the face of open borders, inflation, mandatory jabs, crime… these clowns draft women.
#DontDraftOurDaughters
(3/3)
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Rly need 2 stop comparing my new motherhood journey to emily ratajkowski’s
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Looks like I forgot to Tweet my own blog earlier. That's pregnancy brain for ya, ha ha
Barstool Employee News So Big It Could Ruin Your Vagina Forever
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🏈 Nathan Peterman passing
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|_________________________
|
✖️intended recipient |
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———————————-
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🏈 other team
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Dudes who haven’t washed their towels in months & jerked it to step-sister porn this morning:
oh man Arya had sex gross
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On May 24th, 2012 I was on Camp Leatherneck, Afg in a smoke pit behind our work area, which happened 2b near where the medevac helos came in. Every time one passed I'd send up a simple prayer, "Please let whoever's on there be ok." and I remember doing that on this particular day
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This is not easy 2 admit but i finally got plastic surgery to fix my “resting bitch face”.
before/after
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Something Dave didn't mention on interview today when they were talking charities is that he often donates his own money, & large amounts of it, quietly & without any fuss. In Nov. I was afraid ZBT wouldn't be able to raise enough to save a Philly-area VFW & he stepped right in.
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Glad I had the foresight to bring this. Still important to be kind. ❤️
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Sure it’s only 3 inches deep of snow so far, but it’s a very thick, meaty, veiny snow that respects women
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If you’re a sane, normal gun owner and this bizarre behavior from an elected official does not make you cringe, you are not a sane, normal gun owner.
I have just one message for Joe Biden and Beto O’Rourke, if you want to take everyone’s AR-15s, why don’t you swing by my office in Washington, D.C. and start with this one?
Come and take it.
#2A
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i live in a small studio & travel a good amount so it would be irresponsible to adopt this thicc boi named Spork but several times today I have considered walking out the door to do so
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Not my usual wheelhouse on here but can't get that video out of my mind. Justice for Ahmaud Arbery & his family. Gregory & Travis McMichael should rot in prison & Glynn County PD should be held accountable, too. Arbery would have turned 26 this weekend.
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My son dropped several goldfish on the airplane floor and I quietly picked them up even though I’m visibly pregnant but that’s just something I’ll keep to myself
#humble
#goodcitizen
#perfectmom
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When ur brother eats the whole box of Reece’s Puffs in one sitting
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Me, rolling back into Chic Fil A after they forgot 2 of my sauce packets.
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Oh my God
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I need to make some changes.
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Extra gravity bc of mega moon 2nite. Both cat & broom are standing on their own. Amazing
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Made it from 7:30pm - 4am but am now officially
#TeamDrugs
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I once spent a lovely Election Day in Afghanistan waiting at a post to search women who came to vote so i know what he means besides the day-long firefight & the zero people who showed up to vote bc they didn’t wanna die. Secure & inspiring 🥰
A young military man working in Afghanistan told me that elections in Afghanistan are far more secure and much better run than the USA’s 2020 Election. Ours, with its millions and millions of corrupt Mail-In Ballots, was the election of a third world country. Fake President!
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Currently at the VA ER and there are 2 guitarists on the balcony playing Closing Time. Place is buzzin. Vibes are high.
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It’s our son’s 1st birthday today 🥰 Last year I squeezed his head into a cone shape, but this year I just got him cake & some tractor toys.
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@KFCBarstool
Pro tip: buy one that smells like cigs bc they promise to fix it & give you major discount but then they crash it in the parking lot as they take it to suck the smoke out & then try to tell you its fine so then you ask Chaps what to do & he tells Big Cat who tweets that he’s goin
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For the 1st time ever my son slept through the night last night. In a hand-me-down pack n play down the shore. and now I’m wide awake at 6am waiting to congratulate the fella. Very exciting.
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Currently in my Insta DMs:
Getting called ‘Libtard’ for making jokes about press conference
Getting called ‘right winger’ for watching it on Fox News.
Big love to both sides for coming together to decide I am bad
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About 2 explain the OnlyFans form to my longtime little old tax lady Maureen in a sea of silent cubicles at H&R Block
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Now that I’m finally verified after all these years of painstaking personal brand crafting & earning your trust, I shall come forth and tell you whomst I REALLY AM
MWAHAHAHAHHAHA TIS I, DENNIS THE HERMIT CRAB IN A BOTTLE, YOU FOOOOOOLS!!
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way 2 soon 2 be seeing anything about a gallen of semien over here
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Me: says ‘gun’ instead of ‘rifle’ when telling story about an M4
My mentions:
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No one makes guns look dorkier than the people who love them most
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Me talking to family:
▶ 🔘──────── 00:02
Me talking to friends:
▶ 🔘──────── 00:08
Me saying “sorry” for no reason:
▶ 🔘──────── 4:59:50
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bleh Gettin ready for another long day of bein hyper-sexualized :-/
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I wasn’t going to say anything but obviously I have some thoughts.
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Allllll u lil vagina holes worried about ur grandmas & grandpas & friends w/ cancer 🙄🙄🙄
You’re why *~this bitch~* had 2 step up & take her top 1% pussy 2 war 💅🏼
This is why less than 1% of us fight. Imagine bringing you pussies to war...
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Getting a c-section tomorrow. Have never had major surgery before so making my final meal a spaghetti pile w/ Italian hoagie smothered in mayo in case the doctors are goofin’ off & not taking it serious & knick my stomach or intestines. I want instant karma.
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Counterpoint - Possible - Every adult in this room
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The good news: I can see my vagina again
The bad news: It looks like the entire cast of STOMP! used it as a bucket drum for about 10 seasons
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