Karalynn Dunton
@karalynndunton
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3,322
Following
258
Media
148
Statuses
1,798
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Hypothetically if you were at a girls house on a date and it was going really well but then you saw a ham head in her freezer would that be a deal breaker? Here’s a pic for reference I found online definitely didn’t take it right now today from my own freezer
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STOP. EVERYTHING.
@Arbys
sent me a package in the mail (because I’m important) and I’m losing my mind. THANK YOU! BRB GETTING THE MEATS NOW.
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My neighbors (who I’ve never met) casually asked me to pick up their packages while they were out of town. …and then they got the cake from Tik Tok. And I knew exactly what it was. And now I’m dying to know who they are because I cannot get the cake.
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Get this: Only Hams. It’s like Only Fans but it’s just... spiral sliced hams. Is there a market for that?
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If you see anyone in a trench coat and don’t automatically assume it’s a pile of hams parading as a human... are we even friends?
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Do I know anyone with Chris Pine’s phone number? I’ve been watching some of this press footage and I just wanted him to know if he needs someone to talk to I could make some time for him. Maybe share a glass of wine. Evening walk on the beach. Whatever he needs.
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Hypothetically if you found like... a cool girl on the internet, and she was conventionally attractive and seemed like fun but then you found out she uses her Twitter to talk about the friends she made herself out of meat... is that... would that be a deal breaker?
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How do I ask my neighbors about their Tik Tok cake without bringing up the fact that I’ve made 15 videos about them in the last 12 hours?
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EVERYONE CAN GO HOME NOW. TIK TOK IS OVER YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.
The ultimate TikTok collab has been made. Deleting the app. Nothing more to be seen after this.
@DanPovenmire
@karalynndunton
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Friendly reminder you have to earn “dark humor”. And you haven’t. These jokes aren’t funny. People are losing their lives.
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IT HAPPENED GUYS!!! I got my very own cake from
@tiktokcreators
and I’m SO happy 😭. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Believe in your dreams kids! 🙌🏻
(It’s definitely real btw it was mailed to me 100% real I didn’t steal it from my neighbors this is my own)
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Oh hey... hey twitter. Um... hi. What’s going on today? I’d like to be relevant now. Please give me.... relevance. Give it.
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It’s crazy how things that are totally normal to you can suddenly start trending out of nowhere once everyone else discovers it.
#showeronion
#showeronions
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Has anyone like… told
@Starburst
that the internet is currently simping for a commercial they made in 2007? Has someone told them they should really consider bringing it back?
#BerriesAndCream
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This comment still haunts me... I think I speak for everyone when I say,
@hankgreen
we ALL want to see the pelican draft.
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MY NEIGHBORS ARE COMING TO GET THE CAKE TODAY OKAY?!?
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Are we all pulling an all nighter tonight? I don’t know if I can sleep. I mean I probably could if I wanted to but wouldn’t it be cool if we got your mom to order pizza? I mean not because I’m anxious, I just figured it’d be fun for everyone if we stayed up and had pizza.
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...has anyone turned into a pile of hams around here lately?
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This past week or so I’ve felt the full weight of the anxiety, depression and grief I’ve carried since losing my mom 6 years ago. I kept coming across videos of baby opossums and they brought me joy. So I am now the opossum queen. SQUEE. I am here to bring joy.
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I’m not saying it’s the peak of comedy.... but I’m not saying it’s not.
There is a TikToker who has been making the same joke in slightly different ways several times a day for a month and I don’t know why but I love it every god damn time and yes it’s
#hamantha
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THIS... this is fake news. Josh Groban isn’t real I don’t understand why people still need proof.
Only headlines like this for the rest of 2021 please, thanks
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NOT TRYING TO BRAG BUT I STARTED DOING TRIVIA NIGHTS A MONTH OR TWO BACK AND TONIGHT WE WON IM VERY SMART
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Felt like the right time of year to repost this video of when I thought I found the love of my life 🥹🙏🏻🫶🏻
#showeronions
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I tried that app where an AI generator creates pictures of you and I’m topless in most of them wtf my other friends are wearing clothes in all their images why is this happening.
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Hi I just wanted to let everyone know that I didn’t think it was possible for a cake to give me so much social anxiety but it turns out I can’t be right about everything plz keep me in your thoughts.
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Update: do you guys really like me or are you my fake internet friends. I can’t tell. Please love me.
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I just got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine but please don’t tell anyone because I’d like to continue to use not being vaccinated as an excuse to get out of social engagements
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I’m tweeting today out of obligation to the strangers on the internet I constantly seek approval from. Is... this good? Is it a good tweet?
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Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you for being nice to me on Twitter. I heard people are mean but it’s cool that you guys aren’t.
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My mom hated musicals but watched Into the Woods with me twice. Once on stage in SF and again, in theaters, the year before she passed. People do leave you half way through the woods. So my heart goes out to anyone missing someone this holiday season. And Sondheim, thank you.
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To all my haters who said, “Kara stop making videos denying the existence of Josh Groban” or “Kara stop bullying Josh Groban online, he’s real”, I bet you’re all feeling PRETTY SILLY right about now! Even
@joshgroban
is sick of the lies.
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My toxic trait? I have a frozen ham head in my freezer and sometimes I pull it out to impress people with my humor when they come over and no one ever likes when I do that but also I can’t stop. I really don’t want to do this but I CAN’T. STOP.
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Ham.
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Quick life update: I cried while watching
@Pixar
‘s Coco in front of someone else tonight which was a good change of pace from the normal “crying while watching Coco alone” so I guess people really can change.
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I went to Home Depot to buy them out of 10 mm socket as a joke and they were already sold out.
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I did a sponsored post on my
@Instagram
story today so to help promote it I made a
@tiktok_us
about my Instagram, now I’m using
@Twitter
to tweet about that and I can’t wait to get on
@Snapchat
and try to drive that audience to this tweet. I know how social media works.
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I DONT WANT TO BRAG BUT I GOT THE RIGHT DRINK AT STARBUCKS TODAY SO I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THE REST OF THE DAY
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What if we all messed around and went to Medieval Times for my birthday?
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Uhhh… is it weird if like… you’re dog sitting, but your friends dog walks in on you in the shower and they accidentally see you naked? Asking for a friend.
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Just figured I’d let you guys know I don’t really believe in Josh Groban. I don’t think he’s real.
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Probably the highest praise I could receive is
@DanPovenmire
animating me into a pile of hams. So... yeah. I’m either a pretty big deal... or I’m a pile of hams. (...and this is where you realize... I’ve been hams... this whole time 🤣)
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So I started learning to play the guitar a few weeks ago and here’s a quick update: I’m still really bad at it.
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Hey guys just reminding you that my dog is scared of fireworks so could you guys like… not do the fireworks thing this year? She’s really sad.
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We said what we said.
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Stay positive out there guys. But not Covid positive. Happy New Years!
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To be honestly I’m pretty annoyed my hashtag
#mouthkissingforbiden
is being blocked by Tik Tok right now like... literally how is anyone supposed to get action right now?
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Everyone on the internet should own a banana suit so we could make fun banana suit videos and stuff together.
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THIS is everything.
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It’s hilarious because you never expect it... and then you REALIZE she was wearing a trench coat... and she was hams the whole time 🤣😂
Look. If you're not on TikTok, you're missing out on this one lady who is just a pile of hams in a trenchcoat and honestly I feel sorry for you.
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Oh man,
@karalynndunton
sure is a super cool person! We... we like her a lot. ...she’s good. (she didn’t write this btw it was someone else)
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Just letting everyone know I used a power washer today.
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NICE FISH CONTENT DAD. WE’RE PROUD OF YOU. ...are you proud of me? 😭
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HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THU DER AND LIGHTNING IS STILL A THING?! I HAD FORGOTTEN.
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IT’S MY SEASON AGAIN 🥰
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I suddenly feel like there are a lot less plot holes in the film National Treasure.
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Good morning all you gobblers!! WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TURKEY GUY?! LET US WE NEED MORE GOBBLE!!
#karasgobblers
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I don’t NEED a boyfriend. I NEED someone to sit next to me on the couch while I watch television and tell me to get off my phone!
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When the big boys come to play.
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I just wanted to state publicly that I really HATE the DMV.
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You’re welcome.
@karalynndunton
you ruined Star Wars for me. Now when Vader strikes down ObiWan all I see is robe opening up revealing he was just a pile of hams
#ObiHamKenobi
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I was on Marvel’s Runaways and everyone always forgets that.
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Oh man, someone just stole my phone and tweeted this from my account, how embarrassing 🤦🏻♀️
Oh man,
@karalynndunton
sure is a super cool person! We... we like her a lot. ...she’s good. (she didn’t write this btw it was someone else)
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Hey just letting everyone know I’m a fashion blogger now. Here is my prediction for upcoming looks you NEED for fall or winter or something.
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Well
#fishcontent
made the list but why are they sleeping on
#hamtok
?!?
so many sub-genres, so little time. which is ur fav?
🧙♀️ WitchTok
🐸 FrogTok
✨ CottageCore
🏰 DarkAcademia
🤘 AltTikTok
💤 StraightTikTok
❄️ HolidayTikTok
☁️ DreamCore
😝 PickleTok
🌱 PlantTok
💚💜 GreenvsPurple
⚡ DracoTok
🌀 Datamosh
🐟 FishContent
💻
#EditWar
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I did wordle again but I won’t show you my emojis about it because I don’t want you to feel bad about yourselves. (I did a good job)
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This is what I needed today. Thank you.
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I keep trying to tell Dan not to quit his job to become an influencer. I do this service for you. You guys are welcome
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Wouldn’t it be wild if just messed around and drove up the coast together and fell in love at the Taco Bell Cantina?
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The cool thing about twitter is that I always forget about it and then when I remember I can go see that I have no notifications.
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Update guys: I texted my parents that the cool News Kids were tweeting about my thing. It’s been 3 days... they did not respond.
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I don’t use Twitter very often and I don’t have much of a platform here but hey! Black Lives Matter. Thank you for your time.
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I think I found my personal style: I want fancy things but like… with dinosaurs on it. Prada? Yeah sure. But make it dinosaur? Gucci? Okay! But maybe with a dinosaur on it? Fendi? So cool! But dinosaur. Anyway where do I go to become rich?
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If anyone wants to tweet about how cool they think I am it would be totally unnecessary but like I wouldn’t HATE it just wanted to say that
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What’s your favorite flower? This is mine and he is my best friend I hope he never dies 🥹🙏🏻
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For the record, yes. I am a movie star. You saw it on twitter, how could it be a lie?!
@karalynndunton
oh shit you're like an actual movie star 😆 I thought you were just some Josh Groban denying banana wearing weirdo doing fish content 😂😂😂
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