Yeah they gotta do it themselves now since trump fired like 90% of the national park service

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

deleting dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he thinks he’s an elf and overheard me singing at work in his quest to find his real dad)

just finished my christmas tree

https://t.co/9vpjJAyxk9

I would sit down with Squidward and be the first person to just truly listen.

NORMALIZE CUDDLING WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!! FRIENDS NEED CUDDLES TOO!!!!!!!!!

imagine shooting down the spy balloon and it explodes in a giant cloud of pink smoke and glitter and then you hear a family in the distance cheering

Candle subscription service would be elite if no one is doing it

the queen is still dead

hi. i love you. i hope you’re ok.

You’re telling me a ginger bred this man??

“Yeah I had breakfast today” The breakfast:

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m really busy watching this 45 minute video of someone deep cleaning an old rug

really makes you feel something to see this kind of thing 👍

I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you

The spiders in my house watching me put up spider decorations after killing their brother

Having LinkedIn Premium is like the business equivalent of the app that tells you who unfollowed your Instagram

Adopt don't shop