mads👩🏻💻cyber bae
@inreGray
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Your local data privacy & cybersecurity lawyer. Proud HBCU graduate & AKA. Aussie immigrant. The World Wide Web is my oyster. Judge is my dog.
Joined August 2017
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Quickest 5 years of my life I swear
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How do you say “I promise I’m smart my brain is just fried” professionally??
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“My cleaner informed me you had a pet with you” ma’am I informed you I had a pet coming with me three weeks ago when I booked 😭
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It’s a “glitch” but they changed the listing 2.2 seconds after I sent a screenshot that showed pets allowed 😂
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How do you say “I promise I’m smart my brain is just scrambled eggs” professionally??
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Remembering the time one of the partners from an internship in law school asked me to go to lunch. I told them I left my wallet at home but would come anyway (didn’t wanna miss the chance to connect). They sat and ate a full meal in front of me without offering to spot me. 😂
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Remember how I failed the October bar with a score of 266? I just PASSED THE TENNESSEE BAR WITH A 281!
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law school
what’s it called when you have low self esteem but also think you’re better than everyone
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@DataPrivacyNerd
It’s a 3 bedroom house and I booked it for a week and paid a cleaning fee. Either don’t allow pets or charge a larger cleaning fee upon booking. I don’t think having my dog at accommodations I paid for is disrespectful.
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@putitaliscious
Woww. A teacher quizzed my twin brother in front of the class about several “sophisticated” words that he used in a paper in like 8th grade. He was able to explain the meaning of every one and she was SHOOK because she thought he had cheated. My mom made her apologize to him. 💀
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@SweetPea1636
“Ended up” yeah after she tried to act like I wasn’t honest about bringing my dog to the booking and fine me..
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@freelancelawmom
Oh absolutely not paying it, it cost me almost $1,000 to stay there and I completed the stupid cleaning list before checking out
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@nataliepayer
This too…I asked for late checkout the night before and she told me to check back in the morning. I message around 7am and didn’t hear back til 9am (which was a no). Why make me get up early on a Saturday just to say no 😂
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When people find out you’re a lawyer and say “I almost went to law school”
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Came back from a weekend away and my Airbnb host left me a review saying we were “a bit untidy” despite paying $250 in cleaning fees for a 2 night stay. The issue? Makeup residue on towels. If you can’t handle your guests *showering* perhaps don’t rent out your place.
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He told me his love language is acts of service so I filed a lawsuit against him
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a lot of lawyers end up in the profession because they have unresolved trauma and helping others is a coping mechanism
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I truly cannot believe there are people out there who are lawyering AND parenting. R U GUYS OK?
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The same supervisor stuck me at a giant conference room table one floor down and would stop by every 30 mins to check if I was doing work. How you gonna micromanage someone you’re not paying! 😂
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@KnowingSimone
No broom or vacuum left 🥲 I followed everything on the cleaning checklist (which didn’t ask me to sweep or vacuum)
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My twin brother was arrested and taken into custody on Friday morning. Even as a lawyer with experience in criminal law and someone with access to support and resources, I struggled to help my family deal with all the steps that are part of dealing with a criminal arrest.
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Me: you should really log off, for your mental health
Also me: has doomscrolled for at least 4-5 hours a day since March 6, 2020
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Guess who got a job as a data privacy and cybersecurity attorneyyyy 🤩
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Idk why law school taught issue spotting I have no problem finding issues with things
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Being a law clerk is 50% being super excited about learning new things and 50% feeling like an idiot because you know nothing about anything.
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I had an ex that used to say “that’s a feature, not a bug,” whenever I’d point out something I didn’t like about myself and I hope he’s having a nice day
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Oh you like law? List every single unnecessary Latin phrase that could easily be expressed in English but sounds way better in Latin.
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2.26 GPA at the end of first semester 1L (a 2.25 meant I was out). I ended up getting published, making deans list, and now I work at a big firm in my dream practice area. The success came from napping not burning out!
I got a 2.9 my first semester of law school and now I have a big law job I love, a CALI, and I’m drinking sangria in Madrid. You’ll be okay, babes. Take a nap.
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I love how we debate whether lexis or westlaw is better when in reality we’re all googling away
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Can’t be a victim of a phishing campaign if you simply do not open any emails
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This man accidentally intermittent fasts because he’s too busy fighting the system to think about lunch
Bullshit. This man has seen it all. This man will file the most scathing motion you’ve ever read & follow up with a “sent from my iPhone” email. This man sees the judges daily & won’t be fooled by your BigLaw ~fear me~ attitude. I’d trust this man with my life.
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I’m joining the legal team at
@NetJets
as Associate Counsel! My new role will focus on data privacy and compliance matters. The sky’s the limit! 🛫
#onlynetjets
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A thread of some things I learned while writing my criminal law journal paper on privacy and data collection back in 2018:
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This time last year I was studying for the February bar exam after failing in October 2020 and now I’m an attorney in my dream practice area. For those studying, keep going! It absolutely sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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@bemtember
@Jenflix01
@AirbnbHelp
Telling me to send another message…both of which haven’t been responded to with any substance
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On of the fabulous clerks brings payday donuts but after this move I almost reported him to HR 😂😂😂
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ALL RISE COURT IS IN SESSION THE HONORABLE JUDGE BB PRESIDING
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no interest in land is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than twenty-one years after some life in being at the creation of the interest
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No matter what happens tomorrow, I still convinced two different employers to hire me during a pandemic. That counts for something, right?
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Hey girl are you a choice of law provision because I really wanna take you to the proper venue
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Sleeping
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@OSGLawyer
@LizCGil
@Jaspell
Lol literally the last 2 years have shown us that you don’t have to drive to work
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I did not go to law school to see all these tweets about law school
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Are you even a lawyer if halfway through drafting something you don’t second guess your entire strategy and rework everything just to realize you were doing fine the first time around
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@es_webster
I have never not paid for a mentee/interns meal or coffee since my 2L year because of this lol
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I still can’t get over the fact that someone snitched on me when I was an intern at the AG’s office for posting a cropped screenshot of a “good job” email. No names, no identifying or confidential info. Just a supervising attorney saying I did a nice job on an assignment.
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@icona_p0p
This place also said it was 3 bedroom but the “2 bedrooms” upstairs were not closed off and the “room” downstairs was a second living room lol
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@j_legalese
RIGHT! Small gesture of good will. Also, we weren’t eating at like Ruth’s Chris. It was the type of place where a lunch plate cost between $10-$15!
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1L / 3L
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Drafting an NDA like “parties shall be as silent as the g in lasagna”
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Some news about my professional life: I’ve accepted an offer from another firm to work in their data privacy and cybersecurity group! The position is still remote, but I’ll be making almost 30% more than my last role. I can’t wait to see what this opportunity brings my way!
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We stopped putting our hopes and dreams in the hands of men who used them to abuse us. Hope this helps. 🖤
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Secured transactions
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Can’t get murdered by your husband if you don’t have one
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A lot of millennial women don’t want kids because they’ve seen how society downplays the labor involved in motherhood while also scrubbing women of any identity outside of being a mom
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How many lawyers does it take to format a Word document?
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Law firms
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10.22.10 was the day I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack. He lived a really high stress lifestyle so please help me honor him today by taking a little extra time to take care of yourself 🖤
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When you’re a lawyer and someone asks if you’re intermittent fasting and you realize you are but not by choice
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@_earthisghetto
College is overpriced, but I also think some people don’t take college seriously enough to get value for money. Skipping class/doing the minimum will make you feel like it’s a scam when you don’t get a return on your investment. Structured learning taught me how to self teach.
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@jessin_progress
I’ve bought a stranger’s meal or coffee when I’m in front of them at a drive thru but this person couldn’t buy lunch for an intern who was helping them on the cases they were collecting a nice lil contingency fee on…just not okay!!
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I’m an attorney…of course I’m going to tell you about it within five mins of meeting you and then get mad when you ask me for legal advice
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Let the record show I am absolutely judging you for making your dog wait 12 hours for a potty break
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Intrusive thought: what if there was an ashley madison for lawyers called legal affairs
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Also one of the few areas of law where money and helping people collide 🙇🏻♀️
A lot of lawyers look down on personal injury attorneys. Most young millionaires I know practice personal injury.
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Now that I finally have all the pieces for a proper picture, I present to you three years of hard work in the medium of Portrait Mode.
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It wouldn’t be a night out without a bathroom mirror selfie 🎄🖤
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Some yummy nonalcoholic drinks to order this summer for my nondrinkers 🧵 feel free to add to this
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PLEASE stop thinking AI is a substitute for the practice of law I’m begging you
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I lost all my college friends during law school because I was so busy and now I’ve lost all my law school friends because they’re too busy
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Periodic reminder that I failed the Tennessee bar exam in October 2020 and had to sit for it again in February 2021. I was making $37k a year as a law clerk until August 2021 and now I make upwards of $150k a year. THE BAR EXAM DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR VALUE AS AN ATTORNEY.
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OKAY THE EXAM IS MONDAY!! I’m logging off social media until it’s over but PLEASE send good vibes, thoughts, prayers, or whatever else you feel so inclined to send my way!! 🖤
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