Swiss 𝕏
@BlxckSwiss_
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SWISS W🌐RLD| Cityzen🩵|Pirates🏴☠️
SWISSWRLD
Joined November 2021
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Pinned Tweet
So he still hasn’t asked you to be his Easter Egg? Shame. Do better sis.
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the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Who is even the “big 3?”
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girls be like: “I can’t wait to get my license”
when they get it:
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Tems & Conditions
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Bro’s influence on todays Fashion is insane
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"what do you want for your birthday?"
me: *forgets everything i've ever wanted in life*
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Me: I’m so bored and I’ve got nothing to do
My textbooks, notes and slides:
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Better days are probably shocked that y’all are waiting for them.
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7 year olds have iPhones now. When i was 7, I had a plastic phone that sings… “whoof whoof, can I help you, ayi ayi ayi i am a butterfly”
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your amapiano girlfriend thinks metro boomin is a radio station.
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I think leaving someone because they don’t match your sex drive is a valid reason.
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Nobody:
Absolutely nobody :
Short girls: "stop walking fast!"
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When I meet my maths lecturer at Groove
Me: yess wena Square root
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Afrikaans e batla o dule ore “Ja” because heke ware “Nee” ba tlore “Hoekom” and hoka sebe monate.
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Kelvin Momo, Gunna, Tems, Travis Scott and Drake on your first album is insane🤯🔥🔥
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Here 🤌🏾
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I need you to understand that the captain of the team isn’t necessarily the best player in the team. He is the player that drives that team on and off the field.
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Jonga idc if he was acting, I will never forgive this kid.
Re-watching The Karate Kid and my God this guy was an avengers level threat 😭😭😭😭😭
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Imagine your whole life is a dream and you wake up with your head on the desk still in grade 2 😭.
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“Karabo”
“Sir”
“11/150”
“Mxm as i was saying chomi, motho after 5 rounds a fainter”
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Him: what’s your body count?
Satan: (you know its 15 but tell him 3)
Her: I'm a virgin
Satan:
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"Kindly twerk"
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👦🏽: “Sir Pule o jela mazimba mo classeng”
👨🏼: “English please”
👦🏽: “yerr o lucky sahn”
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Cassper Nyovest did 90, 000 at FNB Stadium 🏟️
Burna Boy is set to become the first ever African artist in history of mankind to hold a concert at the 55,000 capacity AFC Ajax’s Johan Cruyff Arena in The Netherlands on the 9th of June, 2024! 🏟️🦍
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Sarah grootman😭
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2014🥇
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- Gave Future his biggest hits
- Gave Rick Ross his biggest hits
- Gave Metro Boomin his biggest hits
- Put Kendrick on his first tour ever
And this is how they thank him 👎🏽
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I’m a lokshin bioskop child😭.
Luthando, Taxi cheese boy, ke summer boss, Room divider, Mampara, Taxi ride, Jozi to Kapa, Mama stole my hunk, Kasi mean girls, 10 ways to make him propose, izintombi zodwa, Pele Pele tree, etc🥺.
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This is insane
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My partner is not your friend.
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Y’all remember when Jacob Zuma wanted school to end at grade 14😭😭😭
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Cuddling with someone else's partner is even warmer cuz their blood pressure is high from worrying about getting caught.
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This generation will never understand the pain of eating this without a scissor😭
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- BBM
- Alone
- Fairytale
- Settle for less
- Something about you
You just had to be there🤌🏾🥺🥺
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😭😭😭
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*Class starts at 8:00*
Me at 7:60 knowing I have 40 minutes to spare😭
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Guys... I am going to Marry Minnie Dlamini... When you see me out deh grinding... Just know that it's all for Minnie Dlamini!!
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2024 update:
30 eggs are R109
A Loaf of bread is R20
2L of cooking oil is R99
2L milk is R42
2L Coke is R30
Go slos are R10
30 eggs are R85
A Loaf of bread is R20
2L of cooking oil is R89
2L milk is R36
2L Coke is R30
Go slos are R10
Si nyile 🥲
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Disappearing messages on Whatsapp
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White people eat bread w peanut butter and jam and call it a peanut butter and jelly “sandwich” but when black people do it nithi it’s poverty food??👀
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"o scarce" bathong nna ko gae ke chef, nanny, cleaner, security le plumber
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BRING THEM BACK!🥺
Which food item’s discontinuation left you devastated ???
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this era >>> 🥺
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I get so happy when I see an Amapiano hit song without Dj Maphorisa’s name on it.
"Tshwala Bam" by TitoM & Yuppe featuring S.N.E & EeQue
Has officially Debuted at No.
#26
On US 🇺🇸Billboard Afrobeats Chart
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Enale bo Cyan Boujee nyana yaz
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POV: It's a random sunny Saturday in 2014 and you’re watching channel 164
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This nigga buys bread in bulk and freezes the loaves wtf 🤣😭.
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*Telkom after you recharge*
Telkom : Your account was successfully recharged with R100 airtime.
Telkom : Thank you for Recharge
Telkom : we appreciate your recharge
Telkom : we love you
Telkom : Yah no it's hot today.
Telkom : Your data bundles were successfully loaded
Telkom :…
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The older you get, you start realising gore maar Kwid gae bad yaz😔🤣
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No American artist could fill up FNB stadium even if they tried.
Do y'all think SZA can fill up FNB Stadium?
R400.00 General Ticket
R1200.00Golden Circle
No VIP.
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You can drink all the water you want but the real glow needs money.
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“nyama'ngloko”😭😭😭😭
I tasted nyama'ngloko for the first time yesterday😭 where can I get more??
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- I’m very quick at the ATM
- I don’t litter
- I return the trolley
- I don’t eat in a taxi
- I donate blood
- I add R2 for hope
- I don’t use Capitec
- I support local brands
- I greet people first
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O nyobise ‘my friend’ utlwe are "take whole bucket achaar monate mpolaye wena"
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Same as how iPic mix is now called a “dump”
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my worst fear is walking with my girl & that YouTube ngga pulls up to swap phones yer😭😭
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I suck at charging my phone, as soon as it hit 20% I’m walking around with it 😭😭
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Can we all agree that it’s the song of the year? 🤝🏾
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This is Emtee😭
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Me:
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Using Cell C ka 2023 is just mad business
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