I should probably go out today...if I can get out my PJ's...which seems highly unlikely right now

just involuntarily balled up my fist so hard my knuckles cracked

Maybe I’m just out of touch because I’ve never once declined to give friends rides to and from airports, like wow that’s prime hangout time on top of being helpful wtf

Elijah McClain should have been celebrating his 30th birthday yesterday. He should be alive today. Elijah McClain was a 23-year-old Black man who died at the hands of police and paramedics on August 24, 2019, in Aurora, CO. He was walking home from a convenience store, wearing a

Due to inflation you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Whenever I read a particularly idiotic comment about aging (even some intended as a compliment), I think of Kristen Schaal on some podcast going "oh, I'm sorry, am I LIVING too long?!?"

Why don’t y’all compete over who can pay their workers the most

there’s a classically trained opera baritone currently working at a Chrysler dealership in Cocoa, Florida and he makes advertisements for the cars in the style of different arias and I just had to share that with everybody because he’s my favorite person in the world rn

Six years ago was our last normal week, and none of us even saw it coming.

Increasingly relevant now.

They do not stop being delicious just because you become an adult.

Old school workouts that will get you right: The Firm (DVD’s) 10 Minute Solution (DVD’s and YT) Step Reebok (YT) Exercise TV (YT) Thank me later

The longer you work in corporate, the more you realize …Urgent is a feeling, not a fact

I’m a solid intermediate in Excel, and I’m the office superhero. My VP passed off a spreadsheet project to me, and, simply because I know more functions than she does, I finished it at half her normal time. You would’ve thought I cured world hunger 😂

I used to eat canned green beans when I was in culinary school. The key is to rinse them and thoroughly dry them. Then you want to use high heat when sauteeing, preferably with bacon fat. Sauté on high heat until the outside is blistered, then toss in some chopped garlic for

my princess diana

people don’t want information they want their biases confirmed

Gotta squash the beef if you wanna touch real cheese 😤😤😤

“No ads” this “Ad free” that YOU NEED THEM ADS HOE YOU HAVENT DONE LAUNDRY IN 9 DAYS. YOU MIGHT NEED AN AD. LOAD THAT FUCKIN DISHWASHER WHEN YOU SEE FLO FROM PROGRESSIVE POP UP.

I’m a simple woman, I see a blue tick account telling a CRAZY personal story every other day? I block it

“Tubi should have a premium option” SHUT THE FUCK UP