Grip Bayless💕
@talleyberrybaby
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Comedian 💕1/2 of @jokesonyoupod 💜
Joined February 2020
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어린이날
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こどもの日
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子供の日
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鯉のぼり
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#光る君へ
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#鬼滅の刃
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GW最終日
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予選突破
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Dhoni
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#PBKSvCSK
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Happy Easter
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Thala
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KRIST SINGTO GOLDENSONG
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アフター
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Al Jazeera
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予選通過
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Ginting
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#羽生結弦RE_PRAY舞台裏SP
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えーりん
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BUILD INFINITY 1 MILLION
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四塩化一黄酸
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Pinned Tweet
Booking link officially in my bio!
At the urging of nearly everyone I know, I have decided that I’m going to take braiding more seriously. I’m in Atlanta, here’s my price list and examples of my work, DM me for appointments! (If I start building a client base, I’ll make a style seat!)
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Common cold would run through that bitch like a tomb raider omg
This is a GREAT idea. Why not put child care centers in retirement homes?
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No this is fine. The North remembers The Lickening.
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My little cousin could do this too if you gave him some of your hot chips
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Unweaponized Incompetence
She asked him for "pads with wings" so he brought her "Pads along with Wings".
A win is a fucking, win! Appreciate that wonderful, Man🤌🏿
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She ate you up real bad
I have been yelling at my oldest for constantly being late to school. Telling her it doesn’t look good for college.
Her texting me from her room:
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I have something to say but I dont want them people tryna share my social security number
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This look like something you feed a pitbull on his birthday
My first chipotle bowl, how I do cousins ? 😂😂
-white rice
-steak
-black beans
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Drugs are so funny I was at a party once in undergrad and this guy I was talking to was mad that his Xanax “wasn’t hitting on shit” and he “just felt chill/normal”…. BABY YOU HAVE ANXIETY YOU SHOULD BE MEDICATED THIS IS YOUR MEDICINE.
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I’ve been in theater all my life either they are the VERY BEST OF FRIENDS/FUCKING or THEY HATE EACH OTHER’S FUCKING GUTS and there’s no in between.
Why am I kicking my feet and giggling seeing this?! The CHEMISTRY! 🥹❤️❤️❤️
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That little hole is a VENT. If you stick something in there and block it what you’ve made is a BAWMB.
Can’t describe how dumb I feel not knowing before today that this hole in the crockpot is for a thermometer
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People: be forgiving! Let it go! The past is the past!
Me:
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Imagine being documented as a hater like this.
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Time for some appropriation cause I’m finna learn the fuck out of this.
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Jobs that are ok to shame:
Police
Landlords
The niggas that put boots on cars
Politicians (corrupt)
Billionaires (not a job but still)
Drake
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“No seriously press send at like 8:30 in the morning. Yes I know tomorrow is Tuesday” - Beyoncé
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Baby they marry women they don’t like
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Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that???
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Therapy is not enough I need to uppercut my father
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I’m SOBBING but i’m also screaming laughing at how he turned her world upside down and just hopped away
An autistic, non-verbal boy speaks directly to his mom for the very first time❤️
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Well happy one year anniversary to this tweet
You think God ever gone give Alicia Keys her voice back? I know he took it because she stole that lady husband but damn that was like 50 years ago.
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Why, as an apartment, does the price say “call for pricing”
BITCH HOW MUCH DO IT COST????
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British people ate with “What’s all this then?!”
BECAUSE NO REALLY, WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN???????????
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SO RAGGEDY ASS MILA KUNIS AND ASHY KUTCHER WERE ALL SOOOO DISGUSTED AND MORALLY APPALLED WHEN WILL SMITH SLAPPED CHRIS ROCK BUT YOU WRITING LENIENCY LETTERS FOR YOUR RAPEY ASS CO-CAST MEMBER?? MUSTY HOES ALWAYS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.
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I want people to feel comfortable just getting involved in local theater instead of subjecting us to these skits.
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Be fun and say “Boy Dinner” or keep it on the playground!
“Man dinner” is picking one of these up on the way home from work and eating the whole thing with your bare hands
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Don’t be dense. It’s a day off work and folks use it as a family reunion. Nobody celebrating no DAMN pilgrims and you know that.
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oh no mama you a hater this is 10/10 popcorn buttering. extra points for showmanship.
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Good for them.
I went to the front of my class and said "we're going to listen to Chris Brown's first album." Tell me why the entire class sighed and somebody yelled "here she go with this bullsh*t!" 😭
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Again, fun police here: is this not sexual harassment?
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“I think you’d be happier if you apologize” is actually quite terrifying
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It just burns my cookies that when you boil it all down, America doesn’t take care of its citizens simply because poor folks and non-whites would benefit from the care. Like simply that’s what it boils down to.
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He got a secret family baby
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I have my criticisms but I think one could argue that Druski is an anthropologist.
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Idk i’m on his side
My nephew got detention for being a little smart ass. After giving him a lecture on being respectful and whatnot, he sent me this. And I am sorry but I think it’s so funny. 😬😆🤦🏻♀️
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Black folks business is what it is 😂
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I would like to point out that I have not said anything specific in this tweet and i’m basically being called a knuckle dragging monkey n*gg*r because these people are so racist they can’t see straight
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Today is Tuesday. Valentine’s Day is Wednesday. Tomorrow. The stores are COVERED in flowers, candy, candles, stuffed animals, etc. If that man shows up without a gift or trinket, he’s hates you and wants you to die. The cheapest bouquet I saw was $4.99. HE WANTS YOU TO PERISH.
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I’m always gonna call out transphobia but I genuinely don’t think Kendrick’s “real women” bar was about trans women. I think he was insinuating that drake dates GIRLS. Like young girls.
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Dog whatever is going on with my car is so bad they made me put the goggles on and come outside to see. I’m in this bitch SOBBING.
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My kids gone have to be made in the air fryer or something because I am terrified of pregnancy.
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Jalen Hurts has the chance to do the funniest thing Halloween 2024
No one loved their job more than Shemar on Soul Train. He’s radiating joy with every dance move. 🪩
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Mexican people really ate when it came to Mexican food. Our brown brothers and sisters took the same 8 ingredients and freaked them 75 different ways and THE BITCHES LOVE IT. And the margaritas be tasting like Margarita herself came down and mixed it up??? BIDI BIDI BITCH.
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A lot of men are in VERY DEEP LOVE with their male “friends” and use women for sex and don’t see any value in us outside of that.
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Went running (in my bonnet) this morning at the park and a little (caucasian) girl told me “I like your pink hair bag” with all the seriousness in her little body
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Dad came in and chewed Ginny Weasley right the fuck on up i’m sorry
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Hey buddy I searched the word “collapsed” on your page and the authorities are on their way
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Baby that is Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Grimaldi Renaldo, Princess of Genovia.
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MEGAN COME GET YOUR JUICE
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And I hope she 97% kick you in yo chin
I have a married guy friend whose company I enjoy, and who I love to pieces. We’ve been friends for YEARS, since before the marriage. When we do link, it’s 97% innocent. His wife is completely hetero, yet he wants me to covertly assist him in attempting to persuade her to allow…
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Yebba’s heartrbeat is about her mother dying by suicide and it just makes me sad that the song gets bastardized.
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I simply do not need anyone to have lost a limb or to have died of exhaustion for me to have sparkle rocks. Grow the bitch with the science and let’s move on.
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You can start a task at anytime babes. Not just times that end in “:00” and “:30”
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My grandmother refuses to share her location with the family even though LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT, because apparently we “don’t need to know her comings and goings like that”
GIRL YOU ARE 73 AND YOU WORK AT THE CHURCH FAMILY LIFE CENTER DONT PISS ME OFF
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My villain origin story
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You know what kinda sinister villainous nefarious shenanigans you gotta be up to for HOMELAND SECURITY to raid TWO OF YOUR HOMES SIMULTANEOUSLY AND BICOASTALLY???
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I rear ended a man by accident and by the time i got out the car to exchange information my eyes had already welled up with tears and he was like “You know what? It’s fine. Just go please” MEN DO NOT LIKE THAT CRYING SHIT AT ALL.
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How do men grow up with single moms & don’t have respect for women
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Me: *freezing, waiting on my dog to poop*
My dog, fucking about, not caring if I live or die:
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Tiktok removed this video of me talking about Drake for “harassment” and “bullying”…I’m right though 🤷🏽♀️
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I know the men at the auto parts store /mechanic be tryna manipulate/trick me, so today I am going without a bra. I can be manipulative too.
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Put a pregnancy test on this bitch and you cooking with GREASE
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Actually really thinking about her today. Y’all played in her face and LOOK. ALIENS.
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My dog be begging for ANYTHING. Baby what are you finna do with a Celsius and a blunt??????
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YUCK.
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Lord drake finna have that lil Fenty 110 boy strapped to his chest like a Koala because kendrick mentioned fatherhood
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“-leigh” as a name ending is just the white “-esha”
will not be explaining further.
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Y’all worried about if your son is gay whole time his favorite color is 7 because y’all been boiling fabulouso, dipping braiding hair, & cooking crack all in the same pot you cook his hamburger helper in. Go to hell.
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Imagine sitting in the congregation $87 to your name not knowing how you’re gonna make rent and then seeing your church spent your tithe money on a FUCKIN CAMEL
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Dude I haven’t talked to in years just hit my phone on some “I know we haven’t talked in a while” and I sent this back-
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Mind you he was married as the FUCK at the time he released this statement
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The fuck on.
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Sorry these a lil too dark for me my pancakes gotta pass the paper bag test.
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BITCH THAT TITANIC SUBMERSIBLE IS BOLTED FROM THE OUTSIDE SO EVEN IF IT SURFACES IF DONT NOBODY SEE IT & LET THEM OUT, THEM PPL GONE DIE ANYWAY
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“I can’t believe y’all celebrating a black man going to jail”
Me, waiting on Diddy’s inevitable mugshot:
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I’ll never forget I got knocked by the beach waves on vacation & two bad bitches frm St Louis came & saved me frm drowning & while they was giving me water one asked “bitch is yo body real?” & when i said yes the other one said “once you get that stomach together, you good bitch”
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Bitch Adele wouldn’t even agree with this she might upper cut you for saying it actually
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BITCH THAT IS WISTERIA LANE OMG
A lot of you don’t understand how important it is to me that Beyoncé opened a lemonade stand on Wisteria Lane
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Looks like you never would’ve made it
Good morrrnnniiinnnggg!! What does it look like I do for a living?? Go!! 😂😂😂😂
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God submitted this at 11:59
Despite having Zebra-like features, Okapi is the only living relative to Giraffe
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I worked at cracker barrel in like 2011/2012 and this man’s card declined three times and when i refused to try it a 4th time and asked him to wait for a manager he leaned in over the counter and whispered “✨nigger✨” in my ear
It’s one thing to eat at Cracker Barrel as a black person….
But to work there….? Come on mayne.
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If a lying ass bitch wanna give me a band i’ll take it tf
If someone gave you $1000 because “you’re ugly” would you take it ?
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I’m convinced this is what Jesus be doing when he not answering my prayers
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I think couples who can’t really fuck for real do all this as over-compensation. Aint no reason for you to be doing this soft-core in what appears to be a hangout for old caucasians.
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Black girls with focus issues…please eat when you need to and pee when you need to. Food and Urination are not rewards for finishing tasks, crazy ass girl.
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My momma: “You seen what they said about Zillow fat shaming people?”
Me: “DO YOU MEAN LIZZO???????”
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That little margarita song is so funny because if you give me 3 margaritas, the lyrics are on point, but if you give me 4 margaritas I will start explaining how German WW2 soldiers were basically on meth and how that impacted world history.
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Um my friends planned a cabin trip and we were playing hot seat & they asked him “What do you dislike most about Talley” & he said as quickly as he could “Talley has never met a silence she wasn’t desperate to fill”…you could hear a fucking pin drop and i cried in the bathroom
Ladies tell me about that time a man ruined your birthday?
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Boy math is your dad leaving but hating the mom and sisters that stayed to raise you
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Erykah badu is further proof that them crystal and candle bitches be the meanest hoes on earth omg
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Me any time Beyoncé releases a “my dad ain’t shit” bop
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He never made a bitty hit her knees!
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Book was written in the mid 1880’s? Where did they get the skin from if you don’t mind me asking?
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you can see my halo? bitch unhook me.
This doctor sang Halo to her patient before a surgery 🤍
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Is this a safe space?
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What sport he work at?
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Cause bitch why would you yeet me over yonder like that THEN think you bout to kidnap my kids?
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