Vivian
@suchnerve
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19,967
Following
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Statuses
138,163
shrieking, incandescent ball of angst trapped within a level 10 containment field of stubborn optimism, all ensconced within the body of a giant woman who Posts
Burlington Throat Factory
Joined October 2008
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
i don’t “struggle” with autism. i succeed at autism. i am the best at it.
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“MY ANXIETY ISN’T *THAT* BAD” STARTER PACK
1. leg bouncing
2. picking at your lips
3. walking very quickly
4. having two modes: GOTTA GO & WHY I SO TIRED
5. peeing! lots of peeing
6. [new notification comes in] GOTTA READ THAT N O W
7. “am i being annoying??”
8. “they hate me”
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ARE YOU A HUMAN CAT?
- naps all the time
- needs to be loved
- done with everyone’s shit
- always wants snacks
- might want to kill everyone
- cute but will fight
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ADHD person about to make a mistake: “I’ll put my drink in the freezer so it cools faster!”
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“the mainstream media radicalizes people’s beliefs about gender”
actually for me it began with seeing male relatives sit on their asses doing nothing while all the women and girls were running around doing all the work like unpaid servants at every single gathering
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“Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provide something.”
idk man i’m pretty sure all that obedience y’all demand of women, children, & dogs counts as a condition, plus the beauty standards you enforce on women
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“entry-level” pay is a fascinating concept because there are, mysteriously, no “entry-level” bills
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“You’ll get more conservative as you age!”
me, 15: we should all just coexist 🥰
me, 25: GUILLOTINE THE RICH AND BAN HOMOPHOBES FROM PARENTHOOD
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“If you want a living wage, get a better job” is a fascinating way to spin “I acknowledge that your current job needs to be done, but I think whomever does that job deserves to be in poverty.”
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HANDY RED FLAGS GUIDE
If someone unironically says the following, ditch them.
1. “Boys will be boys”
2. “I’m not racist, but”
3. “I don’t mind gays as long as they don’t hit on me”
4. “But biological sex”
5. “Burger flippers”
6. “Illegals”
7. “It’s free speech”
8. “Handouts”
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
Women's historically-recent acquisition of financial rights has led to straight men collectively reeling from the culture shock of, for the first time in history, having to actually be likable to get a wife.
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seduce an autistic man with this one simple trick!!
directly tell him you’re attracted to him, that you want to go out on a romantic date with him, and that this is not a joke, prank, or just being nice, nor is there additional meaning hidden between the lines
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the straight men trying to roll back divorce rights are clearly ignorant of or too arrogant to take seriously the fact that before no-fault divorce, women would literally murder their husbands.
"my husband died under mysterious circumstances" did NOT used to be a joke
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the autistic experience of having been punished as a child for "talking back" just because you were confused and asking for clarification, the social equivalent of kicking a puppy for trying to play
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worth noting the buried lede:
they’re defining “virgin” as “hasn’t had hetero sex”
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far left: we’re gonna get everyone’s basic needs met
far right: we’re gonna exterminate entire social groups because they’re impure
centrists: i literally cannot tell you two apart
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less "autistic people are bad at reading between the lines"; more "allistic people are bad at understanding directness".
i'll tell an allistic person something very specific and non-vague, and they STILL won't get it because they tried to infer hidden meaning where none existed.
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you KNOW an autistic person likes you if they do that catlike thing where they bunt their head against your chest and then rub their face all around while making little happy sounds
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autistic people will "roll our eyes" like 🔄 instead of ↕️ because we interpreted the phrase literally
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"y'all" is to refer to a group. "all y'all" is to refer to each and every individual within a group.
"y'all suck" = on average, the members of the group suck. but there might be exceptions.
"all y'all suck" = every single person is terrible.
hope that helps
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getting the impression that most of us fit this:
- former gifted kid
- neurodivergent
- burned out HARD in adolescence
- now riddled with treatment-resistant depression and anxiety
- libidinously polarized (either a horndog or uninterested in sex)
- mostly LGBT friends
- leftist
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video game: your mission is to lead a political uprising by overthrowing a tyrant and free the political opponents he has imprisoned
gamers: yes okay good
video game: and your character can be whatever gender you want
gamers: WHY’D YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT POLITICAL ALL THE SUDDEN?
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i haven’t known peace since it was pointed out to me that saying “fuck” during sex is like saying “parkour” while doing parkour
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wait so autistic mental health is heavily reliant on following routines, but ADHD makes you forget your routines… so how in the world do AuDHD people cope????
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women get abandoned for gaining weight, for becoming seriously ill, for getting pregnant, for not getting pregnant, for being disobedient, for getting wrinkles, for not being sufficiently sexually available, and for a plethora of other reasons — all of which are CONDITIONS.
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some dork mistook the frightened behavior of caged wolves for an actual social structure and now i have to hear about "alphas" and "betas" every goddamn day
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men literally cannot be this muscular unless they have significant class & able-body privilege
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@AutisticCoach_
it's sarcasm; people don't like getting honked at, so those stickers attempt to redefine your motive for honking at them from "i'm mad at you for driving badly" to "i agree with you about an opinion of yours"
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alright I’m muting this because it’s finals week & a bitch is distractible.
but before i go:
- black lives matter
- abortion is good & should be 100% taxpayer-funded + with no waiting periods
- if you’re a homophobe or transphobe, consider drinking bleach
- ecosocialism or bust
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UNDER-DISCUSSED FORMS OF SELF-HARM
- fucking/dating people who are bad for you
- hanging around someone you’re in love with but who doesn’t want you back
- playing music so loudly that it hurts
- eating unhealthful food
- skipping showers
- reading bad news
- procrastinating
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"autism is new" babygirl your grandma stimmed by knitting all the time, had strict daily routines, got really annoyed if people disrupted her routines, spoke in a mostly monotone voice, was oblivious of social cues, and interpreted young people's slang literally
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tired: discussing “cancel culture” as if shitty famous people are victims
wired: talking about disposability culture, which has infested social justice spaces with the idea that it’s not only okay, but good to throw people away as a first-line tactic instead of as a last resort
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this is how they get away with wage discrimination. people SHOULD talk about wages with coworkers to collectively make sure everyone’s being paid fairly.
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autistic people will see a "honk if you like pizza" bumper sticker and think it means "if i like pizza, i should honk"
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bonus points if you explicitly tell him what you want the date to consist of, and you truthfully assure him that he doesn’t have to wear uncomfortable clothes or use cologne or endure any other sensory discomfort for your sake
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do NOT call the I.C.E. tip hotline at +1 (866) 347-2423 to submit fake reports that make it harder for I.C.E. agents to do their job! that would be totally wrong of you!!
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who could POSSIBLY predict that abusing a human being to whom you entrust the preparation of your food & who you relegate to spending every day at home near a variety of wild plants, affording them plenty of time to identify the poisonous ones, might result in murder by poison?
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further bonus points if, rather than making him guess when to kiss you for the first time, you just say “y’know i’d love it if you kissed me”
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QUESTIONS THAT MAKE SHITTY PEOPLE TELL ON THEMSELVES
“What do you think about ___?”
1. Lizzo
2. Men wearing makeup
3. Feminism
4. Black Lives Matter
5. Antifa
6. Greta Thunberg
7. “Me Too”
8. LGBT characters in children’s TV shows
9. AOC
10. Spanking
11. Vaccines
12. Abortion
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"don't trust your significant other if they won't let you go through their phone"
then don't trust me, i guess. nobody gets access to my phone but me. aside from the fact that i value my privacy, there's also the fact that people message me things assuming only i will see them.
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"men stumbling their way into being wanted by the coolest women on earth, and then having the audacity to complain about it" posting
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AuDHD people are sooo funny because they simultaneously REQUIRE externally-provided structure in order to function properly, yet they HATE being told what to do
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time blindness is wild because i'll be like "oh i haven't messaged that person in like a day or two" and then i check and oops it's actually been weeks or months and now they think i've ghosted them 🤪
nahh i'm just mentally ill in ways that you don't intuitively Get
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Gone are the days that women HAD to marry any available man just to gain proxy access to financial rights, and that's been an ongoing catastrophe for straight men with absolutely nothing else to offer a prospective wife.
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physical harm aside, they also fail or refuse to consider the profound emotional harm they would personally suffer as a result of staying married to a woman who hates them.
like bro do you have any idea how miserable it is to be hated by your wife?? it sucks! you'd WANT to die!
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lmao they’re vandalizing their own offices.
leftists don’t use “don’t vote” as a slogan. this is like trying to frame feminists by painting “men suck” or “death to the traditional family”
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how to explain to boomers and gen xers that non-urgent voice calls are rude because they force the other person to stop everything they're doing to pay attention to you immediately, whereas a textual message allows the person to respond when they have a moment
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the best recurring example of this is when i tell allistic people that i am chronically ill with debilitating migraines several times a month minimum, and then i end up (drumroll) having multiple migraines in a row AND THEY'RE SURPRISED.
BABE I TOLD YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO EXPECT???
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i'll be 100% transparently honest with an allistic person, only for them to act like i'm a deceiver and a liar because reality ended up not conforming to the things they IMAGINED i meant rather than the things i actually said
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neurodivergent angst of pouring decades of effort and constant, conscious thought into communicating as clearly and diplomatically as possible, only for other people to not only refuse to meet you in the middle, but to actually get ANGRY at you for things you didn't actually say
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genie: you get three wishes
me: i wish punching nazis made money fall out like in a sonic the hedgehog game
genie: …ok that one’s free
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rt if you see your kink:
1. choking
2. hair pulling
3. student loan debt forgiveness
4. leather
5. guillotining the robber baron rich
6. spanking
7. universal health care
8. creampieing
9. radical action to fight climate change
10. blindfolds
11. saving the bees
12. tentacles
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@AmberMay2021
@RebeccaHurst19
this is why i strive at all times to have the audacity of a mediocre man
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9. “If he had just obeyed the police officer,”
10. “All my ex-girlfriends were crazy!”
11. “It’s all about the feelings”
12. “You can’t handle disagreement”
13. “Reverse-racism”
14. “Black-on-black crime”
15. “Homosexuality”/“homosexuals”
16. “Freeloaders”
17. “Easily offended”
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“you’re just starting out, so we’re gonna pay you less”
versus
“i’m just starting out, so hey utility companies, i’m only gonna pay half the usual bill :)”
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TAKE THE TEST ALREADY Y’ALL
“i relate to this but i’m not autistic” bestie take the RAADS-R already. it’s quick, free, and anonymous. nobody has to know ;)
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some of y’all are human opossums.
- eats trash
- panics when confronted
- misunderstood
- underappreciated
- acts tough but will scream
- needs to be protected
- cute but messy
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femboys have more courage in one corset knot than conservative men have in their entire bodies
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WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE ROBBER BARONS WITH 299 EXTRA HOUSES???? :(
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I.C.E. is currently checking ID on Michigan highways 94, 275, and 75. Pass it on.
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my conspiracy theory is that a significant part of the "van life" movement is a psyop to rebrand employed homelessness as something cute and fun instead of what it really is:
an ongoing indictment of capitalism's inability to provide for even full-time workers' needs
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there seems to be a direct causal relationship between having moral standards for friends such as “understands & respects consent” + “believes in inherent human worth” + “reacts to the unknown with curiosity, not hostility” and ending up mostly being friends with LGBT people
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name a more iconic duo than AuDHD people and feeling guilty every single moment of every single day
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SIGNS SOMEONE’S POLYAMOROUS
1. Google Calendar
2. Knowledge of vegan food but not vegan 🤔
3. Familiarity with witchy matters
4. Uses the word “valid”
5. Nose piercing(s)
6. Dark circles but still horny
7. Turbostoner
8. Actual good taste in music
9. Strong opinions on anal toys
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homophobes present an unacceptable risk to children and should therefore not be allowed anywhere near them
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@smartbunny_RG
Please consider the concept of cultural inertia. Legal changes take a lot of time to percolate through the mindsets of the people within a society. The 70s are still very recent, in terms of history.
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anyway, this is a relevant tweet from my alt.
(this account got nuked for two years until i got it back by writing in my appeal, verbatim: “Woke liberals spammed my account to get me censored”)
much of today’s contentious gender relations can be explained by realizing that straight men are still reeling from the culture shock of finally, for the first time in history, having to actually be likable in order to get a wife.
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18. “I hate everyone equally”
19. “how am i supposed to explain that to my children?”
20. “fluent in sarcasm”
21. “politically incorrect”
22. “both sides are just as bad”
23. “positive vibes only”
24. “zen” (unless actually Buddhist)
25. [authority figure] “respect is earned”
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kissing should include lots of other little details such as
- lightly tracing a fingertip along the outside of one of their ears
- nuzzling their nose
- smiling into kisses
- pulling/pushing till a solid surface is behind one of you (wall, bed, etc)
- fingernails on scalp
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The ADA was only passed after wheelchair users physically blockaded the Capitol.
Women’s right to vote was only granted after feminists bombed powerful men.
The Civil Rights Act only went through after Black people shut down D.C.
“Civility” is bullshit and history proves it.
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“WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST ASK SOMEONE FOR HELP??” starter pack
when you asked for help in the past:
1. called entitled/spoiled/selfish/other personal insults
2. laughed at
3. yelled at bc they assumed you’d been slacking off/not listening
4. assumed to be stupid
5. called a burden
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