Colin Quinn
@iamcolinquinn
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Im calling it now. When 2020 finally ends the story of the year will be the corona virus.
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Irishman is superior to goodfellas in that goodfellas cut out all the driving and checking into hotels and just left the exciting parts.
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Ok gang, my opinion on the
@rickygervais
fiasco?? Not ok! I didnt think he was right for going after Apple, Amazon and Hollywood superstars because I don’t believe in punching down!
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This country is so divided that even the election is now politicized and has become partisan.
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Advice to young comics. When you first get out on stage, open with a joke or humorous anecdote to break the ice. Then go into your act.
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Congrats Nikki on your marriage to what appears to be a Fresno gang member from the 90s.
A nurse and her doddering hospice patient. My wife (msNikkiNorton on IG) and I in Cleveland.
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Problem I have with The Joker movie. It gives the idea that if a comedian continually fails to make an audience laugh, he's going to go on a killing spree to get revenge against society. If that was the case,
@toddbarry
would be Pol Pot. But haven't seen it yet so won't judge.
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Just talked to a friend in the medical field. Now they’re saying corona virus and Covid 19 are basically the same thing.
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Just got first vaccine! I knew that heart attack would pay off in the long run!
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There’s a serious political divide in America and it’s even starting to spread onto social media!
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People are hating
@joerogan
because he said the words you are never allowed to use on social media “I can be wrong sometimes”.
#rightgang
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Say what you want about
@toddbarry
. He's got his own podcast. How many comics can say that?
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To all comedy fans. Don’t come up to me after the show and tell me how much better I was than everybody else! It’s rude. They are doing the best they can!
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This week a year ago I had a heart attack! I could've been dead by now. Instead I have a new show and it's like nothing happened. I guess it's really true what they say. It's all mental!
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No exaggeration. A lone janitor overheard my rehearsal yesterday he said "this sounds like the best comedy show of 2019 already". I said "Sir from your lips to God's ears". He nodded and said " You're what we call in my job, a bucket full of solvents". Then he left.
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I don’t think it’s right that
#MartinScorsese
is over here giving his opinions on movies. Stay in your lane!
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The first comedian I saw who would go on and all the other comics would go in the room to watch. “Boris Karloff being sarcastic” “Humphrey bogart at the post office” etc.
@RealGilbert
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Two years ago today I had a severe heart attack. And you people almost lost your ability to laugh.
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True Tom Brady story. I ran into him at a "thing" last year and he said the usual "My wife is obsessed with you blah blah" we laughed and then he turned quiet and I said "What?" He said " i should retire" I said "give it another year".
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The thing that bothered me about
#Joker
was the negative portrayal of big city life. It can be tough yes but it can also be a lot of fun.
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Thinking about putting a new hour up on you tube but won’t do it unless you fans can guarantee me a few million views! Not looking to go on there and be embarrassed. Well, gang??
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Horton hears a hack.
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Good news, gang. I was on the fence about continuing my stand up comedy career, but I’ve decided to “stick with it”as the saying goes!
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The only airborne virus I’m seeing out there is “spring fever!” Am I right , gang?
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Can’t believe I accidentally leaked this trailer. “Colin Quinn & Friends: A Parking Lot Comedy Show” premiering this Thursday only on
@hbomax
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Had to wait in line for 5 mins to vote. That’s 1 hour 45 mins in non celeb time. Not ok.
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One of the biggest problems facing us today is human nature.
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Finally saw
#Joker2019
I found it a little unrealistic that somebody would be that ignorant that they would think they could heal all their pain and damage by going on stage and doing stand up comedy for a living.
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Got covid again. Vaccinated twice and had covid last thanksgiving. No symptoms but tested positive. Apologize to anybody that came near me this week.
@ComedyCellarUSA
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I was laughing hysterically to ComedyRadio in the car today and couldn't place who it was doing brilliant material. It finishes up and they go that was Colin Quinn. I didn't even recognize my own voice! How crazy is that? What a coincidence!
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Judging by the material so far I’m gonna guess
@toddbarry
?
The Bloomberg campaign has reportedly hired a comedy writer to punch up its material. Who is it, though? Nobody's saying.
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My job description was comedian and I’d say I’ve more than lived up to my end of the bargain. Your job as audience members was to laugh at my jokes. Can u say in all honesty you’ve given 100 percent?
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Show your support for non-essential workers during this time! It can’t feel good to be told you don’t matter when you kind of thought you did.
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Lot of things in short supply right now, gang. Let’s not make smiles one of them.
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Had a so- so set tonight. Audiences need to up their game. Apathy doesn’t look good on you, folks. Laugh it up or stay home.
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Went into my polling place and even with a mask people said are you colin quinn the comedian? I said no. Today I’m colin quinn...the citizen. They nodded and moved aside so I could vote.
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Thanks for all the kind words and support. Starting a list of those who didn't "check in" yet. Guarantee they'll regret the day they didn't wish me well on the road to recovery.
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Yeah Mr Rogers was a good guy. I’m a good guy too where’s the movie about me?
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If you are not a fan of my comedy maybe look in the mirror and ask yourself “is this really who I want to be?”
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The media is in a frenzy over my new show. Maybe you should get tickets early before the price skyrockets.
Colin Quinn returns to NY stage with new solo show 'Red State Blue State,' taking aim at both sides of the political divide
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I’ve made this country laugh for years. And what have I gotten? A few paltry $$ and a half a career. “ but colin what about the pleasure you get from making people laugh..” gimme a break, this ain’t magic fairy land! Grow up!
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Just back from Italy! If u ever get over there u have to try the food!
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Glad to see
@ComedyCentral
standing up tor the twitter mob and against
@dinahashem_
you are brave and you really get comedy! Keep being cool and having principles and loyalty to the comedians!
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We're so busy "swiping each other on tinder" that we forget to "wipe each others tears and be tender".
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My job as a comedian has been to make you laugh. And to say I’ve “done my job”might be the understatement of the century.
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If u are a football fan and watching the games today keep an eye out for number 12 on the Patriots, Tom Brady.
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To me, one of the best parts of Halloween is some of the crazy costumes you see people wearing!
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Congratulations! Was it for best acting in a marriage?
um just won an emmy yo but don’t treat me any different. maybe a little nicer.
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Biggest complaint I get after my shows? People say " I couldn't hear a lot of the punchlines over the cascades of laughter from the last joke". Fair enough. I take criticism well.
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Some comics are great performers and bad writers. Some are bad performers and great writers. I'm both.
#JFLMTL
@justforlaughs
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I don’t have a lot of regrets in life but getting into stand up comedy is definitely one of them.
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A lot of comedians “tell” jokes . I “allow” jokes to exist. It’s the audience that decides where the joke is. And sometimes the audience can’t find the joke. And they bomb. And then I get the blame.
#whatevergang
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This may be a stupid question. As far as containing the corona virus, should we be washing our hands or no?
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My heart broke onValentines Day. Literally. I am currently doing well although if I dropped dead you would see a funeral like al Capone!
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Honestly feeling like it’s almost tome to move aside and let the new young comics do their thing. Don’t need the focus to be on me. 5 or 6 more specials and then that’ll be it. Maybe 15 more years then it’s time to say “let others have a chance”.
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I got second vaccine. Had a headache so intense that only a
@toddbarry
fan could relate to when at the 60 minute mark he goes “so what else is happening?”
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Sorry. I didn’t know it was you. I put you in my phone as Todd Barry but for some reason it always comes up as Unknown.
Took a random walk today. Ended up on
@iamcolinquinn
's street. Texted him to see if he wanted to meet for a coffee. He waited until I was out of his neighborhood to respond. Fear of success!
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Just because people can’t see them under our masks it’s no excuse not to smile, right gang?
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Everybodys blaming Daenerys. How do we know the dragon didn’t just go rogue and she wasn’t hanging on for dear life. The poor thing was probably terrified. Would you have the balls to tell a dragon “hey stop it!” Ha. That’s what I thought.
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I'd like to thank the staff
@mtsinainyc
which I still call Beth Israel. They saved a great man's life. They realized they had a precious jewel of comedy in their hands and they responded like a 47th st Hasidic appraiser with a mamezitser.
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I’m not going to apologize to the American people for making you laugh uncontrollably for 36 years.
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Am thinking of teaching a stand up workshop where we watch
@toddbarry
specials and I explain why no ones laughing and how to avoid the “pitfalls”.
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You people ever take a minute to think what I must be going thru during this whole thing?
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Young people: if you have any old rich relatives that you’ve fallen out with, now is the time to visit and get back in their good graces. A heartfelt hug will expedite the process( of reconciliation.)
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Hearing complaints about me retweeting accolades. Maybe you don't understand. Twitter is my advertisement. It's not just to throw my opinions down like every Tom Dick and Harry. I have to promote myself. So man up, gang. It's part of the price you pay to follow a legend.
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Disgusted by the Emmys. Used to watch and enjoy it but lately it seems like it's turned into a popularity contest!
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Sad truth is, if there was anything clever or funny left to be said on twitter I probably said it 7 years ago. It's over.
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Comedy tip: I find some of my best jokes come to me when I'm watching another comedians act.
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Hey whatever happens. We had some laughs, right gang? You gotta give me that at least. When all is said and done...we had some laughs.
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Advice for young comics: Best comedy is seen but not heard. Fumble the mic when taking it out of the stand then look at the crowd like "Welcome to my world" the audience already loves you for being "one of them."
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Some good news, gang. Right after the Spanish flu there came a resurrection called...The Roaring Twenties!!!
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If we really have dead UFO bodies we should tie them to the top of Mt. Everest where the other planets can see them. As a warning! Right, gang?
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I have a friend in the know who says the United Society of Mask Manufacturers aka big mask is behind this whole thing. I wouldn’t put it past them right gang? Before this they were just Halloween and Mardi Gras. Now they are bigger than US steel.
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Killed again tonight. If I ever become irrelevant I will let you people know first. But guess what, so far it doesn't appear to be happening. And I'm not saying that because I'm partial that's an unbiased opinion.
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Here's the difference between you and me, fans. If you have a BBQ and 18 people show up you act like you're the party promoter of the year. Meanwhile, I've sold out the early Saturday show at clubs consistently and never mention it.
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All you sickos focused on
#JeffreyEpstein
while my special
#RedStateBlueState
just came on
@Netflix
is everything that’s wrong with this country.
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He looks like Valerie Bertinelli.
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Went on stage tonight pretended to fall asleep. Looked at crowd said "Sorry, tryptophan" crowd laughed for a minute straight. Then I pretended the mike was a ladle and some guy up fronts drink was a gravy boat. Took the room apart.
#offthecuff
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Just watched
#netflix
#NormMacdonald
special. No audience and it didn’t the matter. His timing and material made it unnecessary. Actually some dummy yelling “we love you norm!”in the middle might not have enhanced it.
#brilliant
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There’s a star in the car. And u oblivious fools are missing it.
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Gotta laugh. Especially these days. With everything that’s going on.
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I guess this heart attack has really made me reflect. You know, we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, or u really think about it.
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Just had what I thought was a”NY celebrity sighting” and I got a little star struck till I realized I was just looking at my own reflection in a store window.
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It’s fun to joke on here with you but remember something. I’m a public figure and a celebrity and don’t you ever forget it.
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Anyway you gotta laugh. I think we can all agree on that at least. Right, gang?
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Uh. No. I am here and Shaq stops by.
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Ok for Dolly Parton. That being said, a statue of me in downtown Brooklyn by Tillary street basketball courts where I basically put on a clinic from ‘74 to about ‘78 would be a good spot for the fans.
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I watched the whole special yesterday and loved it. Didn’t get the dc marvel joke bc I’m not a nerd. Will ask
@toddbarry
to explain.
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I don't want to come off as one of those "preachy" comics but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will burn in the unquenchable fire. Those who answer to legion because many demons have gone into them.
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I called it.
Im calling it now. When 2020 finally ends the story of the year will be the corona virus.
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With all the controversial violent scenes I feel like a movie like
#joker
couldn’t get made today.
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Here’s one. A man walks out of a bar. Because Todd Barry’s doing a weekend there.
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