Gilbert Gottfried
@RealGilbert
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The official Twitter page for Gilbert Gottfried
New York
Joined March 2009
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Check out
@RealGilbert
's "Still Screaming" on
@SiriusXMComedy
Greats (channel 94) -
Tuesday - 8AM/8PM ET
Wednesday - 7AM/7AM ET
Thursday - 6AM/6PM ET
Friday - 12PM ET
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This photo is very sad now. RIP Bob Saget and RIP Louie Anderson. Both good friends that will be missed.
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Still in shock. I just spoke with Bob a few days ago. We stayed on the phone as usual making each other laugh. RIP to friend, comedian & fellow Aristocrat Bob Saget.
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This photo was taken after I was a guest on Norm's show. At dinner the laughs just continued nonstop. He will be missed. RIP Norm Macdonald
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In Honor/Memory of Gilbert Gottfried who passed "Too Soon" of Myotonic Dystrophy Type Two:
In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the research of this debilitating disease. Donate here:
Thank you so much,
Dara, Lily and Max Gottfried
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Which is the worst crime? Chris Rock being physically assaulted or Chris Rock telling a joke?
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RIP Gilbert. Gilbert's annual tweet. :). Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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RIP Richard Lewis. And on Gilbert’s birthday. Gilbert really loved him too.
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Birthday message to Hitler. You're dead and the Jews run the world! HA HA
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I just watched the clip of Miley Cyrus sucking a bong. I am so sad... Sad that it wasn't my cock.
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A few months ago
@realjeffreyross
and I were at the beach. Bright sun. Pretty girls. Ocean air. We both decided one thing was missing...a FaceTime with Bob Saget. We miss you Bob. RIP Bob Saget
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With my son & daughter. They're just like me had I been born nice looking.
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“Why sure Mr. Bill Cosby. I guess one drink wouldn’t hurt.”
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Right after this photo was taken, Alec Baldwin punched me.
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He was funny and crazy and loved a good Kosher herring. RIP Bill Macy
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Me and my boy having french toast and an egg cream.
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I'm really excited . I've just asked to be the voice of The Farting Cricket!!!!
#FartingCrickets
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Ray Charles gets invited to a Passover Seder. Someone hands him a piece of matzo. He runs his fingers across it and yells, "Who wrote this shit?" Happy Passover.
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Spider-Man gives America something to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Gilbert wrote this one year ago. He would have wanted to say something today too. He truly loved Bob. My heart goes out to Kelly and his daughters. RIP
@bobsaget
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Vincent Price, Sam Kinison and I wish you a Happy Halloween.
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Well sure Mr. Bill Cosby. I don’t see how one drink could do any harm.
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I'm afraid of making an "insensitive" joke, so let me just say my thoughts & prayers are with Charles Manson & his crazed followers.
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Last video of Gilbert’s last recording of “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast”. Doing his James Mason impression with guest Brenda Vaccaro. A few hours later he would be rushed to the hospital.
@SiriusXMComedy
@Franksantopadre
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Like Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz, "I don't think we're in Missouri anymore."
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My son and daughter greeting me when I came home from an out of town gig.
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What sound does a pair of pants make when it clears it's throat? A HEM. I'm sorry if that joke seems like I was SLACKing off. Please like and RT this right now!!!!!
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The French were right about him all along. RIP Jerry Lewis
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Spider-man gives America something to be thankful for.
#HappyThanksgiving
#Thanksgiving
#Happythanksgiving2019
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Oh boy, it's the
#Aladdin
premiere. I better shave, iron my shirt and .... Oh, never mind.
#Iago
@disneyaladdin
@Disney
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Hey
@artiequitter
Are you alright? I became really worried when I didn't see you at the gym today?
@Variety
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Vincent Price, Sam Kinison, & I wish you a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
#HappyHalloween
#Halloween2018
#trickotreat
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Vincent Price, Sam Kinison and I wish you a Happy Halloween.
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Pre-quarantine. This is my son and daughter welcoming me back from an out-of-town gig.
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Vincent Price, Sam Kinison and I wish you a Happy Halloween.
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Spider-Man gives America something to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving
#MacysThanksgivingParade
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My son and I sharing French toast and grits. He likes grits now because that's what my sister Arlene used to like to eat.
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What lives in Russia and gives milk? A Moscow. I apologize if that joke put you in a bad MOOOD.
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I just told him my best joke. Happy birthday Christopher Walken
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I appeared on three episodes of "Night Court" way back when. Ran into him in N.Y. not that long ago. Always friendly. Always funny. RIP Harry Anderson
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How does the MOON cut his hair? ECLIPSE it. I apologize for that joke. I guess I didn't PLANET.
#LunarEclipse
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Today is the 25th Anniversary of the great John Candy 's death. He will best be remembered as the voice of the horse in the film classic "Hot To Trot" (I was the Dentist).
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Check out
@cinemassacre
on YouTube tomorrow. I'm guest starring in their newest Angry Video Game Nerd episode. Thanks to James and the crew:
@JustySilverman
@Kieeeeern
@HacktheMovies
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Article re: Matt Lauer Roast: "Comedian Gilbert Gottfried was so obscene that Fox News can’t even publish a highly expurgated version of his material, but part of his racist routine – filled with Asian sex jokes about Ann Curry –included detailed remarks about Curry’s genitals."
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Just recently I was a guest on Artie Lange's Halfway House Podcast. As much fun as ever. Tune in a week from today to listen.
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Who you thought would be narrating 2020. Who is actually narrating 2020.
Aside from Morgan Freeman, if you could choose someone to narrate your life, who would it be?
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Oh well. I guess it’s time for me to write my acceptance speech again.
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It's live! I played "Fred Fucks" in the Angry Video Game Nerd web series. Click here to watch: a. .
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I accidentally tweeted out the letters “I U”. There’s no secret meaning to it except that I still don’t know how to work my fucking phone.
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Gilbert always looked forward to the “In Memoriam” segment of
@TheEmmys
. It was his favorite. Watch tonight. RIP Gilbert Gottfried
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On stage or off he could put a smile on your face. Photo credit Arlene Gottfried. RIP Jerry Stiller
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Happy Birthday Bela Lugosi. Why did Dracula fly to New York? To visit the VAMPIRE STATE BUILDING. I apologize to King Kong and Fay Wray.
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#McDonalds
turned it's M into a W for
#NationalWomenDay
. Is it just me, or does it now look like a pair of tits?
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A Chinese man goes to an eye doctor. Doctor says" You have a cataract". Chinese man says "No , I have Rinkin Continental"
#ChineseNewYear
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Walking through the subway, I was shocked to find that
@realjeffreyross
had joined the Hare Krishnas.
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#horseface
Why did the two horses get a divorce? They Didn't have a STABLE relationship. Why did the pony go to the Doctor? He was a little HORSE. Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"
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I go to the LAUNDROMAT a lot. I just do it for the PRESS. Last time I was there, they really took me to the CLEANERS. I realize this is a vicious CYCLE, but I'll never FOLD.
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What were Christ's last words? Hey, I can see my house from up here! I apologize if that joke made you CROSS. Happy Easter !!!
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What do you do when your foot breaks down on the side of the road? Call a TOE TRUCK. Please don't SHOE this joke away for being ARCH. I am my family's SOLE SUPPORT and I lost a lot of money in the SOCK MARKET.
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Birthday message to Hitler. You're dead and the Jews run the world. HA HA.
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Spider-Man gives America something to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving
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.
@GeorgeTakei
follows me! I don't mean on Twitter. I mean into the Men's Room where he blows me!!!
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