Orwell (parody)
@goodthink1984
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Big Brother applauds Putin's narrow reelection victory, despite only 87% support. He should aim higher, like Obiang's 97% or al-Assad's 95%. Aim higher, President Putin!
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Jordan Peterson Benevolently Offered Social Media Re-Education
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Plaques of shame or statues in repentance? It's time for a historic makeover that meets our impeccable standards.
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Cheers to Harvard's record -10.6 free speech score, the lowest ever! Remember, in our hallowed halls, students are seen, not heard. As the Party says "silence is golden".
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Pope saves world from the most blasphemous scientific discovery of all time
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Behind the Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians
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Eyes on the Poor: A Guide to Modern Public Housing Management
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For every 10 retweets Big Brother’s Editorial Services will remove some harmful content, before this paper is delivered to your door.
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Meet the latest sedan - not merely a vehicle, but a personal surveillance companion!
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#Germany
's judicial circus continues as judges judge judges. The
#maskmandate
saga unfolds with suspensions, sentences, and whispers of more trials. Welcome to "The Great Judicial Loop of 2023."
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TED supports color blindness by suppressing TED Talk on color blindness
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Twitter and U.S. Military Ran Totally Legitimate Foreign Psy Ops
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Big Brother's New Grief Tech: Immortalize Loved Ones in AI, Calls Optional!
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Big Brother applauds
#TED
for suppressing Coleman Hughes' talk on color blindness, promoting 'palatable' views. Bravo for speech control!
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In the
#NYC
Council's noble quest for perfection, Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson are out! Big Brother's advice? Statues with 'mea culpa' expressions!
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Buying a new car? It's not just a ride, but a diligent guardian of societal norms! Thanks to all 25 automakers for surpassing privacy expectations. Drive with pride, knowing you're always in good company.
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We watch, you surf. AdSense knows best, right? Just trust the
#algorithms
, they've got your back.
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Embrace Orwell, where truth reigns and loyalty to Big Brother is paramount. Celebrate orderly fun, and join the ultimate party police. Knowledge is power!
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Big Brother celebrates peak surveillance in schools! Budgets shrink, but spy
#tech
soars. Junior comrades, embrace a sheltered future with 24/7 oversight. No more rascals disrupting harmony—welcome to perpetual overwatch!
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Isn’t that better? Now there’s much less meddlesome information to worry yourself with. But there’s still some harmful data.
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Now we’re getting somewhere. All salacious content has been safely obscured. I wonder if we can go further…?
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#Arkansas
Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Leading us into the age of 'truth and clarity.' Say goodbye to those pesky unsettling concepts and
#characters
lurking in libraries!
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Big Brother's loving embrace, where accusations are evidence, and gulags are re-education centers. NewsClick shines under agencies' watchful gaze.
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Big Brother is dusting off his shoulder pads and lacing up his high tops. Thanks to
#Germany
's
#Whistleblowing
Protection Act of 2023, we're bringing back the '80s trend: snitch culture. Why settle for office
#drama
when you can have office denunciations?
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Aspiring landlords of '23! Big Brother's tips:
1. HUD grants for facial-recognition cams—spot "facecrimes" from your recliner.
2. Creative cam placements. Trees, hampers, go wild!
3. Befriend local police—cookies as peace offerings.
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Oceania cheers as
#Florida
shields students from 'confusing' topics. Dismiss free speech worries; under Big Brother, Florida crafts a curated future.
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Big Brother lauds Walker High's noble Principal St. Pierre for thwarting the unruly dancing by singling out the "hood ornament," Kaylee Timonet. Lesson learned, Wildcats: no fun without clean choreography!
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In a noble act of thought-policing, the College of Psychologists of
#Ontario
has generously prescribed mandatory 'correct-think' coaching for the nonconforming
#JordanPeterson
.
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Airstrip One proudly presents AI-powered cameras for your safety! No more miscreants using
#Google
Maps or forgetting seat belts. Big Brother is watching, ensuring order and safety.
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Vice Media redefines punk rock by embracing
#censorship
, all for a cool $50M. Why expose injustices when you can mute them?
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