cj
@futurevictim_
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the most attractive hobby a man can have in the eyes of a woman is being a Cleric and casting spells on her dog
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last night’s uber driver who told me you can cure AIDS with water you are the eat chain homie of the week
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i can kinda see why we ended up with a bunch of really stupid guys running the country
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the worst halloween costume i ever saw was when a very miserable looking kid came to the door with a sign around his neck that said "THE 1%" and his mom yelled "the scariest monster of all!" from the sidewalk. absolutely depressing
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tried my hand at chicago style pan pizza and i think it came out pretty great for my first try
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my HUD when drinking my first beer after getting into a political argument with my dad
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finally discovered the identity of the cybertruck owner in my office building and its an extremely short 50-something year old guy with bangs lol
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looking forward to playing some battlefield 6 later today
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in this episode i violate branson’s privacy in a really mean spirited way and ben attempts to stick a gun in tom’s mouth. what more could you ask for really
🚨E400: Alex Branson's Hawaiian House Party🚨 👇Free on Patreon👇 Starring @ByYourLogic @willmenaker @TrueAnonPod @kath_krueger @DrCameronFetter @calebpitts1997 @lunch_enjoyer @ZeroSuitCamus @Lowenaffchen @RahRahRaina @johnsemley3000 (cont'd...) https://t.co/gvHzdRzLki
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already read the fetterman book and there's 2 chapters devoted entirely to the time a pepsi bottle cap fell down the front of his sweatshirt and it took him three days to find it as it kept migrating between his sweatshirt and sweatpants
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made a pepperoni detroit style with some leftover pesto from earlier this week. calling it a “pestoroni” which is a wholly unique name i just invented right now
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these guys may seem like morons but this is the very first time a polish person has ever spoken into the correct end of a microphone on the first try
🚨BREAKING: Polish citizens defending the Polish border ERUPT: "We are defending the Polish borders. Anyone who enters will get their ass kicked! So to all you pseudo-engineers, enter at your own risk!"
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made pizza again but this time a tavern style pie. my wife asked for it for her birthday today and baby gets what baby wants
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it’s not the best detroit style pizza anyone’s ever made. and it’s not the best one i’ll ever make. but it’s the best one i’ve made so far
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Dungeons & Deagles: Savillehaven Academy for Magical Lads (Part 3) - The magical lads conclude their adventure as the mysterious and delightlfully English scheme of the Bean & the Queen comes to fruition. w/ @charlesraustin @intellegint @tom_on_here @futurevictim_ @necrobranson
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highly recommend watching @losdrogas's baldur's gate 3 stream, maybe the best stream i've ever watched actually. also he's doing an evil playthrough so make sure to remind him of his wicked actions if you tune in
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Dungeons & Deagles: Savillehaven Academy for Magical Lads (Part 2) After passing their wizard exams, the magical lads wind up on a proper quest. w/ @necrobranson @intellegint @charlesraustin @futurevictim_ @tom_on_here
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tonight’s dinner risotto with miso brown butter sautéed shiitake mushrooms. cooked the risotto with some beef stock that i purpose built for pho and had leftovers of. you could call it riphotto but i call i dinner
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put forth my very best british accent for this one. a proper masterclass
Dungeons & Deagles: Sevillehaven Academy for Magical Lads Four magical lads matriculating at Sevillehaven Academy gather to give their final presentations before wizard school graduation. w/ @necrobranson @intellegint @charlesraustin @tom_on_here @futurevictim_
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