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cj Profile
cj

@futurevictim_

Followers
6K
Following
15K
Media
720
Statuses
7K

its not fair

california
Joined December 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
the most attractive hobby a man can have in the eyes of a woman is being a Cleric and casting spells on her dog
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@futurevictim_
cj
19 days
finally discovered the identity of the cybertruck owner in my office building and its an extremely short 50-something year old guy with bangs lol
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@futurevictim_
cj
25 days
looking forward to playing some battlefield 6 later today
@futurevictim_
cj
4 years
really been enjoying playing battlefield 1 multiplayer
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@futurevictim_
cj
25 days
in this episode i violate branson’s privacy in a really mean spirited way and ben attempts to stick a gun in tom’s mouth. what more could you ask for really
@E1podcast
episode one
25 days
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@futurevictim_
cj
27 days
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@RepJeffries
Hakeem Jeffries
27 days
The crime scene in D.C. most damaging to everyday Americans is at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
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@futurevictim_
cj
1 month
already read the fetterman book and there's 2 chapters devoted entirely to the time a pepsi bottle cap fell down the front of his sweatshirt and it took him three days to find it as it kept migrating between his sweatshirt and sweatpants
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@futurevictim_
cj
1 month
made a pepperoni detroit style with some leftover pesto from earlier this week. calling it a “pestoroni” which is a wholly unique name i just invented right now
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@futurevictim_
cj
2 months
these guys may seem like morons but this is the very first time a polish person has ever spoken into the correct end of a microphone on the first try
@Inevitablewest
Inevitable West
2 months
🚨BREAKING: Polish citizens defending the Polish border ERUPT: "We are defending the Polish borders. Anyone who enters will get their ass kicked! So to all you pseudo-engineers, enter at your own risk!"
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@futurevictim_
cj
2 months
made pizza again but this time a tavern style pie. my wife asked for it for her birthday today and baby gets what baby wants
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cj
2 months
it’s not the best detroit style pizza anyone’s ever made. and it’s not the best one i’ll ever make. but it’s the best one i’ve made so far
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@E1podcast
episode one
3 months
Dungeons & Deagles: Savillehaven Academy for Magical Lads (Part 3) - The magical lads conclude their adventure as the mysterious and delightlfully English scheme of the Bean & the Queen comes to fruition. w/ @charlesraustin @intellegint @tom_on_here @futurevictim_ @necrobranson
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@futurevictim_
cj
3 months
highly recommend watching @losdrogas's baldur's gate 3 stream, maybe the best stream i've ever watched actually. also he's doing an evil playthrough so make sure to remind him of his wicked actions if you tune in
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@E1podcast
episode one
4 months
Dungeons & Deagles: Savillehaven Academy for Magical Lads (Part 2) After passing their wizard exams, the magical lads wind up on a proper quest. w/ @necrobranson @intellegint @charlesraustin @futurevictim_ @tom_on_here
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@futurevictim_
cj
4 months
tonight’s dinner risotto with miso brown butter sautéed shiitake mushrooms. cooked the risotto with some beef stock that i purpose built for pho and had leftovers of. you could call it riphotto but i call i dinner
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@futurevictim_
cj
4 months
put forth my very best british accent for this one. a proper masterclass
@E1podcast
episode one
4 months
Dungeons & Deagles: Sevillehaven Academy for Magical Lads Four magical lads matriculating at Sevillehaven Academy gather to give their final presentations before wizard school graduation. w/ @necrobranson @intellegint @charlesraustin @tom_on_here @futurevictim_
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@beebee880
Brian
14 years
I want to go too Paris France just to kiss a girl on top of the eyeful thrower
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@futurevictim_
cj
4 months
when you easily slalom the wife trap question >>>
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@futurevictim_
cj
5 months
lol this is exactly how i talk about what im doing in civ when my wife asks me if im winning my little video game
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
5 months
These Houthis gathered for instructions on an attack. Oops, there will be no attack by these Houthis!  They will never sink our ships again!
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@dril
wint
8 months
if you follow like 5000 people on here youre fucking stupid and your feed looks like a hoarder house
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@futurevictim_
cj
8 months
coworker on a call just asked how he could say “blow my wad” without it sounding vulgar. idk man, might’ve been better to tumble that one over in your head a few more times before saying anything
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@roboticgeo
geographyofrobots
8 months
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