SpacedMom
@copymama
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Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses
The land of caw-fee and dawgs
Joined May 2009
Driving tests should have a portion where a kid in the backseat just pummels you with rapid-fire questions while you try to merge.
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[Arriving in Hell]. *Satan hands me a phone where every app has notifications but no matter how many times I try to clear them the red dots just won’t go away*.
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RT @mcdadstuff: Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.
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RT @UncleBob56: A scammer called me and said he had all my passwords. "You're a lifesaver! Hang on while I grab a pen and paper.".
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RT @sofarrsogud: Anyone under 6ft 4 who wants to use an umbrella in a crowd should have to do a course.
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RT @sofarrsogud: Back in the day Mike Tyson was known as Iron Mike and he was a Fe-nom send tweet.
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RT @sofarrsogud: [sees a guy selling drugs outside the supermarket] *whispers to self* Pablo Tescobar.
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RT @deloisivete: Feeling betrayed because my kid found my stash of Reese's peanut butter cups that I originally took from his stash.
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RT @AnneHatfieldVO: What must a pancake think when it's being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.
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When people talk about someone who died, they’re always like “They had the biggest heart, they would have done anything for you,” but I feel like when I die they’ll be like “She would sometimes text you some halfhearted advice.”.
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RT @sweetmomissa: Nancy Drew and the case of the mysterious acronym my teen sent me that I can’t figure out.
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RT @dadmann_walking: Mexican restaurants are like: we have 1 meal arranged 54 different ways, which one would you like?.
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RT @sofarrsogud: *Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt and shouting 'HELL YEAH BROTHER' as he is sworn in as the new Secretary Of Kicking Ass (….
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