Viago in Furs
@chokedbyanangel
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Han she/they 🖤💛❤️ 30+ 🔞 ✨️ pfp/banner: @micah_lat
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The series that asks the question: what if Izzy Hands was a stone butch lesbian with a motorbike, and spunky femme Lucius Spriggs was dressed as Baby Spice when they met? 🔗⬇️
Many thanks to Katie
@loopydangerfrog
for creating this cover-art 🩷
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This Barbie's got feelings too. This Barbie is a person, also.
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Lucius Spriggs, tbh
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Brenda...clear my schedule. Something's come up.
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Nobody:
Me: starts reading a 55k fic at 10:30 on a weeknight like a dumb slut
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Fully aware this is not an original thought, but inviting you to share the cake anyway: thinking about Ed and Izzy sharing the tenderest kisses, breath smudged warm against chins and tiny licks to the corners of their mouths, sending shivers cascading down their backs
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Calico Jack and you know I'm right
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Izzy Hands
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When I see cute art of Izzy I have the same fond feeling as when I ask my cat "what are you doing?" 50,000 times a day
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@neo__pessimist
made this for me and I'm happy cry - look at themmmmm!!
Sprizzy carousel ride! 😭🥹✨😍🎠
Thank you so much Irene, you're the best <3
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#ofmds2spoilers
Thoughts/musings
All up in my indigenous feelings this morning about Ed with one foot in a woven shoe and the other on land, but only in the nether realm. His declaration that he's never going back on land -
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Extremely Normal Ways To Cope With The Gaping Absence Of Your Wife
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@KindKiosk
@AyashiTetsuko
I give it less than five weeks before Stede and Izzy are having alien abduction roleplay sex with home made tentacle costumes and specialized toys
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"I didn't know this forest was haunted?"
"It's obviously one of your men."
"But is it?"
"Yes, it is."
"But is it?"
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Izzy waiting in the Captain’s cabin
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What if Izzy Hands was a stone butch lesbian with a motorbike and spunky femme Lucius Spriggs was dressed as Baby Spice when they met?'
Spawned from the OFMDKinktober prompts, now sifted into their own series for your convenience:
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Me: (recounting C//on asking for permission to put his arm around me in the photo)
@omgitshecklmao
(activated): Like, yeah, dude, you can spit in my mouth if you want
🤣
T R U L Y
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Izzy grunting "uh-huh," barely able to nod and keep sipping soft kisses when Ed asks him if he's feeling good? Is he being good for you, Iz? implying unsubtly that he will start stabbing if his Iz is not being adequately satisfied.
THOUGHTS?
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stabbing as sex analysis is always like "the violence of being penetrated" instead of "the sexiness of having a knife in you" like please get hornier about this
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Modern au idea: Ed is a multi-level marketing tycoon, he's Girlbossed his way to obscene wealth, he's highly reclusive but occasionally gives the keynote at exclusive brand events (excuse to let him have a lil headset microphone and serve cunt in white leather)...
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A month away from six years of sobriety, Izzy has had savings and a stable home for an unprecedented amount of time. He delights in spending some of his hard-earned on heaps of stickers based on his favourite show, and makes no apologies for it.
#IzzyisMeDay
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while being absolutely railed by Stede and Jack respectively. Simultaneously.
Ed swallowing all of Izzy's whines, tucking his own slack groaning mouth against Izzy's cheek when Stede angles himself just right and finds the perfect rhythm.
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i love happy and sweet gay representation in media but i also want to see two nasty bitches become so obsessed and codependent that they end up destroying everything and everyone including themselves
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Not a lot of people know this, but between yardies and turtle vs crab, Calico Jack busted out a fully choreographed routine for Ed to a ye olde version of Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls
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for me, connection to Country, stepping onto milaythina is like nothing else. Surrendering to the sea!?! His guilt, shame, self loathing so deep that he speaks the intention to never step on land again, and in his heart he doesn't think he's worthy of that connection sob sob 😭
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I want Stede getting interrupted improbable-silly porno style while he's trying to run errands -
He's loading up his boot (trunk) with groceries when one bag splits, and as he's reaching to gather up the loose peaches, tutting and tsking about the fruit bruising...
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Friday night Con-induced zoomies? More likely than you think!
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Please take a moment to consider that right now Stede and Izzy are kissing and pressing their boobs together, and Izzy's hands are Wandering (on the hunt for wet pussy [noble, practised])
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If you can't grow your own serotonin, store bought is fine ✨️
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😏
They’re making bookmarks public???? You wanna publish my porn history too????? You wanna come into my home? You wanna sit in my bathroom and watch me piss?????????
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😌🥰
What’s that picture that makes you say “wow, I’m so pretty!!”
👀👀
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Stede when he smells omega Izzy's heat for the first time if you even care
this kind of review is how you know the perfume is good
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Yes this train of thought did start when I remembered the lingering shots on those grippers and yes I am a sicko about them but I contain multitudes alright 😤
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I heard that man say "boob" "penis" *and* "hole" today, and he said "g'day" back to me 🫠
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Stede's getting groped and humped right there in the parking lot (he parks at the far end of the lot because he's Not a confident parker and doesn't trust other drivers not to scratch his paintwork either) by this filth-talkin trolley boy. He's reaching for his belt, helping...
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What about femme Lucius x soft butch Stede meet-cute - Lucius is swapping out her heels for flats in an office lobby after a job interview (it did Not go well)...catches the eye of the bold, eccentric failed-upward upper management Stede as she's heading for the lift? 👀👠
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Oh my god? I bought some shoes online, and contacted them to ask about exchanging for a larger size/return process. They're sending me the larger size for free & suggesting to give the smaller pair to a friend or whoever to save me the return shipping costs. Incredible!
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cw recovery, addiction
Ofmd friends,
Something I would like to do to be of service right now is offering space via DM (here, or on discord) to talk with you if you're also an ofmd person who is an addict, whether you use or don't, whether you're in recovery or struggling rn. 🧵
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CJ/Reader for youze, but especially
@omgitshecklmao
💪😎✨️🍆💦
NSFW - making him cry, milking him dry 🔥 (will add more later)
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The entire Our Flag Means Death cast and crew are a Slice of Heaven, but I heard this song is the unofficial NZ anthem, so this one goes out to two of Aoeteoroa's finest. Chur
@rhysiedarby
&
@TaikaWaititi
✨hope you enjoy my first ever fanvid
#ofmd
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The thing about Captain Hands is 🍽 he's tough 👄🍴 but fair 😌
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Head concierge Izzy when? Lucius as his most irritating yet seductive bellhop when?!?!?!?
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Roach calling Izzy his bouncy little sponge cake semd tweet
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@lovedhands
Stede being a major slut for it, actually, and drooling a little because he's Fantasized about situations like this...hopes and dreams about being bent over and used ~in public~
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What if Ed was an eccentric Collector type, and Stede and Izzy were as small as the Night & the Museum fellas. He's a collector but likes to pretend he's a scientist. He's clacking his barbies together and dressing em up in lil outfits and putting them in lil habitats and and
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below freezing sundress on walking around no panties hairy pussy out dont care merry christmas
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@heIzHands
Edward imprinting on his brand new daddyCaptain and developing an obsession with daddy's utter slut of a wife.
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was subjected to too many smells today and now I am a bitch
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He's whipping around to find the source of a lascivious whistle.
Enter: trolley boy Jack in his high vis vest, who's been watching Stede bending and reaching, and has wandered close enough to see the way Stede’s eyes flick to and linger on Jack's groin...
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Approaching some stuff with curiosity at the moment. Trying this to see how it feels✨
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🎉🎉🎉 celebrating
@lovedhands
incredible Big Round Number - 200 stories about our favourite pirates 🙌🏼
You're a fucken wizard, Nick! 🧙♂️🪄
Thank you for such feasts and morsels! 🤎✨️
🔗⬇️ for
#200
- a gorgeous 500 word slice of Stizzy - 'no solitary animal'
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Puppygirl CJ on her knees in front of Izzy, panting, wagging her tail and giving Big Sparkly Eyes...she wants him in her mouth so bad, but Izzy's got three fingers in her collar, holding her juuuust out of reach while he jerks his thick t-dick. What a tease 🥴
#happyTDickTuesday
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#ofmdkinktober
Day 1 - Blindfolds - Steddyhands
1/
“Open up. Tongue out.”
“H-hah? Mm- “
“What can you taste?”
“Orange.”
“Very good, love. Easy-peasy, right?”
Ed smiles, gives Izzy a nod, mimes a clenching fist over his own chest.
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I personally would not survive, financially, I would simply throw all my money at morally dubious, princess angelface mcgee and say Thankyou. This is what happens to Stede in this AU maybe. Izzy is 2IC of course, and he's absolutely banging the company's shadiest lawyer on the dl
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the stranger shimmy his pants down enough to get his hands inside, and collapsing, panting with his groceries as witness...
Jack's slurping his fingers before sliding them (rough and quick) but deft with experience against Stede's hole.
@lovedhands
how do you like them apples?
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What Izzy said:
"I went out on a limb for you, you little shit."
What Izzy meant*:
"Your musk is bewitching. I'm so furious right now, bend over so I can eat your entire arse about it."
*terms and conditions may apply
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@Buukkin
Fhkdjslsls
(You fucken hwhat?)
"Am I cruising? Is this cruising?" has actually killed me 🤣
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Izzy really does make the perfect desk toy 🍈🍈 😌
@omgitshecklmao
this is truly the gift that keeps on giving 💗
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I wanna get wine drunk and ride strap like I just robbed 13 banks and the year it’s 1864 and my horse is on crack
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@omgitshecklmao
If by haircut, they mean: my fingers gently running through his hair, and by throat lozenge they mean: my tongue in his mouth, then yes. Otherwise: ouss ouss! Time to punch on!
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Big day for Sprizzy lovers 💖
@gentleranium
tipped the ticker over to 1000 Sprizzy fics on Ao3 🔥🔥🔥what a legend!!
Massive shout out to
@CloudsPassMeBy
for contributing a whopping 4% of that number 🥹🩷✨
Gonna have to share some Sprizzy faves to celebrate 🎊
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(Calico Jack is the shady lawyer, but you already knew that)
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Plenty of other great words too, but I am not immune to a pair of twitching biceps flexing five feet from my head and a pair of sparkly eyes ✨️
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*taps microphone* Edizzy
pathetic subby top desperately pounding from behind while bottom lies on their stomach and acts uninterested and scrolls on their phone ,, good
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Edward "suckin' on my titties like you wanted me" Teach 🍑 send tweet
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Hey what's the feeling when someone who's never really spoken to you before sends you a message telling you you're following someone who's an asshole/has done shady shit? Monitored? I think that's it.
I'd forgotten to unfollow them, as it happens. But just. Eurgh.
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Starting to see people scolding others for their reactions to the finale which I do Not love.
Fucken let people feel their feelings, fuck ya. Take a breath 🙏🧡
Big hugs from me for all who need and want them 🫂
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Print arrived today and I am STOKED
@lydsirabella
thankyou! A fine addition to the home office 😎🔥
biker blackbeard meets thor (love and thunder), since mr
@TaikaWaititi
seemed to like the last one 🏴☠️💕
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Not a day goes by where I don't think about that art Vic made of lesbian CJ and MILF Stede in the back of an SUV. with the with the BOOT on the middle consOLE and the great big tiddies and the DIMPLES ON STEDE'S ASS HELP. Literally every day.
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When I see the subject line '[AO3] Comment on...'
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sorry I can't hear you I just saw a dozen screenshots of him with the Sandals (🩴) and the sound of my erection boi-oi-oinging broke the sound barrier
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