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33 | creature -- queer dog 🌻 she/they 🌈 stizzy believer 🔞 i say weird horny things 🖤 OFMD/GO 🔪 izzy fucker 🐶 pfp by @im_rights 💖 @orchidaexa 💖
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had a somewhat embarrassing convo with a coworker who saw my ofmd tshirt and asked if i was excited for the new season. i excitedly said "yeah i got tomorrow off work for it!!" and he nodded hesitantly and said "yeah uh I'll probably watch it next week with my girlfriend"
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anton gets viago a mood ring but since he's a vampire it only changes colors when they're holding hands
"according to my magic ring i am always happy when we are together ☺️"
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the ofmd actors posting middle aged men thirst traps gives me life every single fucking time i swear to god it's like this lovely combination of arousal mixed with actual joy that they've embraced how genuinely attractive they are
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@dykevillanelIe
i hope they enjoyed themselves and saw a bit of their own happiness and/or desires in my text. everyone deserves to be able to experience the things that make them feel good. if i can bring that to them, then i'm happy.
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izzy hands is the type of dude who overworks himself to the brink of an anxiety attack, then just goes and sobs uncontrollably in a mop closet once a month and gets right back to it
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@TylerAlbertario
it's hard to imagine... he was only a year older than me and he knew he was going to die. and he faced it like an oncoming train with his art, knowing how important it was to make that impact. to make sure no one forgot.
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stede casually mentioning UFOs to Izzy and Izzy is like, wtf is that? ten minutes later they're in Stede's cabin looking at drawings of "real alien sightings".
izzy is taking this as 100% fact. he hurries to go tell Edward like, boss you won't fucking believe this.
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stede's would you love me if i was a worm viciously countered by izzy's you already are
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i miss stede. I miss the flowers. why was Izzy's grave bare? didn't he deserve beauty? to wear fine things? to be blanketed with softness at the end of a hard life? where was Stede's gentle heart?
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Frenchie scrambling into the secret room and leaning over Izzy's pain-wracked body begging for help.
all ed said was "bring me the usual" and then threw a knife at me???
Izzy is gaping like a dying fish, "he wants a rum... some black licorice"
#OFMD2Spoilers
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izzy: would you love me if i was a worm
stede, trying to figure out if this is flirting or some weird attempt at hatefuck arguing: um... uh... you already are a worm... all pathetic and wiggly... ew... no way...
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Izzy going in the gravy basket and being like, nah this is cool I'm staying. there's soup and sleep and i grt to hatefuck stede bonnet as much as i want
#OFMD2Spoilers
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🖤 put her canine teeth in the side of my neck 🖤
the love of my life
@orchidaexa
got me a birthday piece from
@rysiutokwiat
and i cannot cope this is everything
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on one of their first dates stede blows $80 winning Izzy a giant stuffed bear out of a claw machine. izzy calls it ridiculous
a few months later stede is on a 2-week long business trip. they vid chat and stede is delighted to spot the bear propped up on the bed in the background
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Izzy mentions he has a whole collection of dildos. stede goes to look and they're all xxs. his first panicked thought is that he's going to absolutely break this man when they finally fuck. second thought is that he's def gonna nut after five seconds in that tight pussy
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edward lets stede back on the ship but refuses to engage with him outside of captain duties. so in true dumbass fashion he starts flirting with izzy to try and get ed's attention. only... izzy finds himself falling for it. every scrap of affection dangled in front of him.
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after the first cup of coffee izzy makes him, stede refuses to make it himself. always says iz is better at it. will stand and watch, chin on his shoulder and arms around his waist, humming softly now and then as if izzy is some artist at work.
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fanfic writers: comment or qrt with one piece of advice you would give another writer. could be anything! 🌻
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omegaverse but they go into heat based on their planets and stars. izzy starts acting all lovey dovey and ed whispers to stede, "oh shit mercury gatorade"
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con is 5'8" what??? he's a perfectly average height why does he look so small I'm losing it for some reason i thought he was like 5'5" this man is taller than me why does he look like that?? babygirl what is your secret to being small??
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when Izzy can't see over something or needs to get up somewhere high Jack makes him say "uppies" before he'll help
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i couldn't stop thinking about him.
long may he roam
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stede collecting plants and setting up a little greenhouse on the ship. starts putting together seed packets to sell at port.
stands at the marketplace calling out, "come and get my seed! stede seed here! who wants some of my seed in their hand?"
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stizzy praise kink where Izzy is being bad about taking compliments so stede films them fucking and makes izzy sit in his lap while they watch so izzy can feel how aroused he gets. he points out certain moments and whispers into izzy's ear
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“average ofmd fan enjoys 3 Izzy ships " factoid actualy just statistical error. average ofmd fan ships 0 Izzy per year. Izzy Enjoyer, who lives in canyon & discusses 10,000 ships each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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bro combo'd my ass. i had to go sit down.
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i just feel like fang would leave really nice comments on pornhub videos
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stede inviting izzy on a date for the hundredth time, assuming he won't show. the reservation is long missed and the tea is cold when the door bangs open. izzy comes stumbling in covered in rain and mud. clothing torn to shreds. slams a mangled daisy on the table.
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izzy: you can't go down on me idiot, i have a yeast infection
jack: oh fuck yeah let's get this bread
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AU where Izzy is Stede's sword instructor when he's in his teens. Izzy is never patient with him, but only because he knows he can do better. Stede gets a huge crush and is devastated when Izzy suddenly vanishes.
Twenty years later the two don't even recognize each other.
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love the idea of izzy realizing he can catch stede off-guard by using pet names.
Stede bitching him out for undermining him in front of the crew and Izzy just says "yes darling" and Stede short circuits.
everyone but ed is very clearly uncomfortable. izzy is just smirking.
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stede gets an app to track izzy's ovulation. izzy is sitting in the living room reading when suddenly 2 smart watches, a phone, the smart tv, and an alexa cheerily ping that his eggs are dropping.
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stede taking Edward and Izzy for a spa day at port not realizing they're at a brothel. Edward is desperately trying to keep izzy from telling him. they're getting massaged and its dead quiet and suddenly stede just shouts goodness gracious!!! or some dumb shit and Edward loses it
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stede teasing izzy and being like "oh wow can you even get off with that little thing?" makes izzy prove it by humping a pillow until he comes. stede sits 3 feet away fully dressed just smirking at him at the whole time
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love how people unfamiliar with steddyhands/edizzy/stizzy seem to think it ignores or invalidates gentlebeard when typically its just gentlebeard with spice and/or edward just standing in the background eating a sandwich with a boner over these losers he's in love with.
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Edward ordering Izzy's execution and then showing signs of suddenly getting better (i.e. coming to terms with his decision to commit suicide) is just... something i can't stop thinking about in the saddest way.
#OFMD2Spoilers
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nsfw stizzy fluff | omegaverse
🖤 im not afraid of love, im terrified 🖤
I'm not even surprised lmao thank you for voting!
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ed comes to visit while stede is gone and sees the bear dressed in stede's shirt sitting in the bed and is just like, ah i see you're really starting to streamline your attachment issues huh mate
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edward consoling a sobbing izzy who just keeps saying "i'm a worm i'm a woooorm" over and over
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i'm still just... he cried real tears??? he's scared and in pain and the people around him are trying to help point it out and he :(((
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the night stede and ed fuck, after the party has died down and the fireworks have all fizzled out, and the witching hour paints the sky purple and navy, izzy is sitting behind the wheel, makeup smeared and lips upturned. he sees stede, draped in gold that billows outward +
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Izzy finds a cat that snuck on board. he "can't be fucked to catch it". it sets up a nest under his bed. eats scraps and catches rats. stares at him in the dark with wide yellow eyes.
stede finds it. happily mentions to Izzy that they should tell Ed. izzy has a panic attack
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stede calling Izzy his "little fawn" as a pet name cause after he rails Izzy into oblivion he's always clumsy as a baby deer 🦌
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he would appreciate if you did not stare directly at him
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izzy calling stede a twat for the billionth time. fool. ponce. idiot.
stede pouting. asking if izzy ever gets tired of finding new ways to call him an ignorant.
izzy responding without really thinking about it.
don't be fucking stupid. I'd never get tired of you.
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izzy, small and quiet in the shadows on the deck, watching Stede and Edward. Stede tucks a square of fabric into Ed's pocket. says, "you wear fine things well."
the echo of a memory rattles in izzy's chest. Edward handing him a sword, Nodding approvingly.
"you wear it well."
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seen people having Ed dress Izzy in Stede's clothes but I'm thinking about izzy leaving/dying and stede trying to fill the void
letting Ed choke him. wearing a leather glove while jerking him off. pretending not to hear Izzy's name when ed takes him hard and fast from behind.
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younger edward always fucking izzy from behind so he doesn't have to see his heart-wrenching looks of adoration.
izzy walking in on ed and stede fucking while they stare straight into each other's eyes.
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stede sitting beside his bed where izzy is laid out covered in bandages. izzy stirs, and stede looks up from his book to see izzy gazing back at him, eyes hazy with pain and drugs.
he stands, says he'll go fetch ed, but a hand at his wrist holds him back. pulls him closer.
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izzy fucks off with ned and becomes his first mate and everytime they see Edward he is practically insane with jealousy and it fills izzy with an indescribable level of arousal and joy
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thinking about the line "it's about being a part of something" coming from a man whose leader chose to walk away and chase happiness with an outsider after a lifetime of devotion and trust. and the moment of panicked relief that washed over him when he thought he'd got him back.
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izzy would be the kind of wife to make stede a delicious lunch every day for work and stede would be the kind of husband to take his boxed lunch to the restaurant to eat with his business associates and neither of them would ever mention it to each other ever
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really need Stede and Izzy to just have this period of time where they're pretending to hate fuck but actually falling for each other. I'm just imagining them going on a picnic and Izzy is like, this food... sucks. and they just go behind the bushes and passionately fuck.
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stede gently asking if izzy has anything bigger and izzy goes, well i do have one with a knot but I use a lot of lube with it. gets really messy.
shows it to Stede's and the knot is like ping pong ball sized.
stede has to leave the room for a few minutes
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stede had been half dozing at the table so he's pretty confused when he looks down at the crumpled petals and izzy's sad wet dog appearance. then he smiles and gathers him up in a hug that Izzy immediately hisses about. doesn't wanna ruin Stede's stupid impractical clothes
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"make your boyfriend blush?" i am enamored by this. teasing like you grew up together and know how to softly push his buttons. like despite it all you want to make him smile. like you missed him and he's suddenly back and you can see him again but hes still so far away from you
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sorry but now I'm thinking about jim helping Izzy get his new leg stuff on and in the process finding out he has a cunt and getting so fucking hyped about it and Izzy sighing and accepting his new queer elder position and also maybe they could scissor and um anyway
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Izzy showing him the tiniest little tentacle like, yeah i don't use this one a lot cause it's so thick. stede is visibly sweating.
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jack has the flesh light in the pillow with a picture on the bed setup but its really bad candid shots of izzy/ed and even stede. he's completely unashamed.
stede goes to grab something and sees it and is like
...ummm...
the next day he brings Jack a professional headshot
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they're talking about normal things and how much they miss each other and stede stops mid sentence and starts grinning and izzy is so confused for half a second before he realizes.
"I WAS CLEANING I JUST PUT THAT THERE JUST NOW"
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young iz laying next to edward in the darkness. whispering "do you believe in heaven?" edward shrugs. says, what does it matter? and izzy swears that if there's a way to save ed's soul he'll do it. cover his own hands with the filth with sin. fight god himself.
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stede showing Edward a meme he saved on his phone. it's very silly and wholesome. swipes the wrong way to show the next one and flashes a pic of his whole cock and balls right in Ed's face
stede almost dies apologizing but Ed is too busy trying to burn the image into his head
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izzy the hardworking secretary keeping track of what Mr. Teach's boyfriend likes so he can order gifts and schedule dates for him.
realizing how much he has in common w this vapid twat hes never met
izzy falling for the blond who shows up at the front desk one day asking for Ed
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sorry babe. some of us only actually swallow good food
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stede coming in his pants just from grinding on Izzy at the club so he eats izzy out in the alley behind the smoking section. izzy stifling moans with his fist while looking up at the clouds of smoke drifting into the city sky. the muffled sounds of music filling his head
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AU where Edward gives Stede a ride home from work on his motorcycle. they stop at a gas station. stede stays outside and starts flirting with a handsome guy who pulls up next to him on a bike and asks about his ride.
oh this thing? yeah she's my baby. talking out his ass.
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izzy pushing stede up against the bookcase to threaten him and getting hit in the face by a falling book
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stede and Izzy actually getting along and doing silly little things together but Edward starts getting jealous. i know it doesn't work for the Perfect Steddyhands Polycule™️ but also izzy and stede having an inside joke and Edward pouting about it is so good in my brain
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don't make fun of izzy's ass. he lost it in battle. got chopped clean off of him. maybe he was even loyally protecting edward when it happened. did you think about that? no. you only think about clapping and smacking cheeks. do better.
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alpha Izzy with omega stede in his lap, grinding down on his knot but not quite taking it in. izzy is a shivery mess. digging his fingers into Stede's hips and giving little jerky thrusts upward. every instinct telling him to push the omega down and take him hard and fast
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and peek beneath the golden lashes, edward takes the bait.
only it's not for stede. it's for izzy.
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@drfronkensteeen
"oh good i didn't want to give it to you anyway" will always stay in my mind. that and the entire passive aggression scene.
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Izzy fucking around taking nudes on Snapchat. drops the phone and sends a full cock and cunt pic to stede while picking it up. stede can't stop thinking about how that's the first tdick he's ever seen and he's never been so immediately hard in his life. +
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izzy fucking stede and asking if anyone else has ever taken him this way. stede is a mess, practically in tears, mouth half open and says no.
"not even edward?" izzy groans, and when stede wordlessly shakes his head no in reaponse, izzy cums on the spot.
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stede lending izzy one of his shirts but it's the turtleneck so it just goes up and over his face. he comes stumbling out of stede's closet like "i can't wear these stupid fucking fancy clothes where are the eyeholes???"
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love how we were all excited for basement candle training montage and it was literally just him down there slapping candles with his sword all dramatically for himself and no one else. he even took Stede's good candles. this was babygirls self care day.
#OFMD2Spoilers
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i know it's rough out here because i have not accidentally scrolled across a single unspoilered drawing of a cock in public in the last two days
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stede falling over during sword training with Izzy. getting visibly frustrated and tripping again. Ed comes over. tells stede not to be upset. it happens to everyone starting out
stede looking up at edward with big hopeful eyes. "even you?"
ed like, "lmao no of course not"
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stede being so proud and possessive that he always pulls out after to spread Izzy and watch his cum leak out
one time Izzy begs him to stay inside. whines softly about how empty he feels when stede isnt filling him
stede is so in love he doesnt pull out til hes completely soft
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edward running over like "hey stede wanna see something neat?" and digs around in his pocket for a second and just pulls out itty bitty teary-eyed izzy covered in lint and cum and stede is just absolutely bewildered.
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can't believe con o'neil told variety that izzy shows hole this season
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ed and jack leather puppies. tussling, dry humping, slobbering all over each other's faces. stede and izzy begrudgingly sitting and sipping tea while they watch their puppies play together. every now and then the pups come to check in and just lay their big heads in their laps
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ya know i was gonna say i hope stede tells Edward off for abandoning the crew and "killing" Lucius and cutting /multiple toes/ off Izzy but then i think about his dumb little face when he's standing behind ed at the shop and realize this man is insane on the same frequency
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@shrinksnack
at least i didn't lead with the full thigh tattoo i have of Izzy hands in a bunny girl outfit u_u
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the first night after they're married and stede turns to izzy and jokingly calls him "bonnet" and izzy melts
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sleepy izzy wandering into the kitchen. starting water for coffee. putting wood in the fireplace to make sure the house isnt too chilly. tidying up from the previous night while going through his tasks for the day.
it's an endless list if he really wanted it to be.
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ed's chihuahua izzy that snarls if you get too close. stede's scruffy terrier izzy that walks at his heels & gobbles treats. Jack's goldie izzy who loves swimming & bites your wrist a little too hard. Mary's heinz 47 Izzy who brings strange "deer" bones back from the woods
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omg it finally happened who knew the secret was being more active on tumblr
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"you have a type. artsy outsider"
okay i need to know more about young Izzy thanks please
#OFMD2Spoilers
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stede and his absolutely pathetic gag reflex. tearing up and dramatically choking the second izzys tdick passes his lips
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i just think stede making really pathetic wailing noises during sex is cute and correct. idc if he's getting railed or doing the railing, that's unimportant. i just want that man absolutely overwhelmed.
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stede discovering Izzy's watercolor paintings. theyre different from anything he's seen before. layered and speckled. snowflake gradients of deep blue and emerald green drifting outward from the churning ocean waves.
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love izzy & his candles. how excited do you think he was when ricky drug him out of that shitty cell and they got to sit at the table with lit candles. then it's time to give his speech he gives a big pause. like, sigh ok hold on gotta stop my waxplay for this
#ofmd2spoilers
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izzy comes so hard while sitting on stede's face that he slips and breaks stede's nose. stede makes a scrapbook page for it
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God i can't WAIT for casual conversations between stede and Izzy. i can't wait for what it's going to do to the fandom hivemind and interactions in fic/art because honestly them having even a normal conversation is going to flip the canon world around as we know it
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stede and his stupid extra fertile nut getting Izzy "please don't fucking stop please cum inside me" Hands pregnant on day one
edward being jealous until stede points out that now they can raw izzy as much as they want since "it isn't as though he can't get /more/ pregnant"
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jack and Izzy traveling to who knows where in Jack's shitty truck. it breaks down, of course. they call for a tow but of course it's an hour or two out. so of course, parked along the busy highway with nothing else to do, Jack asks for some road head.
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