Cam Godfrey
@cammgodfrey
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cleveland comedian and other c-words
Cleveland, OH
Joined September 2013
“average monkey is curious 3 times a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average monkey is curious 0 times per year. Curious Georg, who lives with a man in a yellow hat and is curious over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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you can’t trust a standup comic. you misdirected me? when i trusted you?
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we need a slur for people who cut the “are you racist?” line out of the “in the clurb we all fam” clip
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i see so many people talk about “horror movie fans who get scared easily” but where are my fellow “improv comedy enjoyers with severe secondhand embarrassment”
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I hate when someone says “nobody asked.” Saying stuff to each other is what separates us from the animals
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I swear to god yall better be nice to cam #bb26
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not me i’m different. there are people i would have said yes to marrying within 2 months who could not get me to watch a 5 minute youtube video
theres like a 2 month period when someone is falling in love with you where you can get them to read/listen/watch pretty anything. you really gotta take advantage of that
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homie waited for me to tie my shoes while everyone kept walking
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how it feels to be a university student who's anti-chatgpt
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Drinking beers at the bar and I look around and literally like 12 people are copying me
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Mambo Italiano Mambas Italianas Mamba Italiana Mambamos Italianamos Mamban Italianan Mambáis Italianáis (ignore this one, only used in Spain)
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Happy 29th birthday, Jenna Maroney.
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has anyone considered why everything that is locked up at target is locked from the OUTSIDE ??? maybe it’s not to keep people OUT but to keep old spice swagger deodorant IN
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just got shushed in the movie theater? fine dude, why don't you show me how to give a hand job *quietly*
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PSA: Please don’t write in “Hawk Tuah” on your ballot. I know it seems like a funny joke, but her legal name is Haliey Welch and putting down anything else could seriously jeopardize her chance at the presidency
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