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bummer without b Profile
bummer without b

@bummer_no_b

Followers
4,839
Following
1,895
Media
2,923
Statuses
21,225

ex cuttlefish researcher

Joined June 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 months
#FreePalestine btw! A few places to donate: And call your reps/urge the San Francisco DA to drop charges against the Bay Bridge 78:
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
I love telling my cat “you’re on thin ice dude” when he’s not doing anything
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
y’all are pushing me to the jar jar brink
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
a little something to take the edge off
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Usually when I tell people I've never smoked weed, they are understanding, but there's no one I respect more than the girl I went on a Tinder date with who responded with "that's fucking stupid"
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Hot girls deserve in unit laundry
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
the teen that’s gonna cancel you has already been born
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 months
Trying my hand at writing the next big Christmas song
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
brb I have to go get some money from
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
The contestants on Jeopardy are rarely, if ever, in any real danger. Misleading name.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
You all watch Euphoria but Eu don’t care who died Phoria sins.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
couldn’t sleep up all night thinking what does Florence Pugh have that Hayden Panettiere didn’t
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
armie hammer ... or arwie dancer?
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Mesmerized by this picture someone took of me drinking alone in the corner at my own post-PhD reception
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
male comics drop your @ in the replies so I can boost you into the fuckin stratosphere idiot get fucked
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Whenever my roommate is out of town I feel as though I am haunting my own apartment. Does this make sense
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I'm on the aux but I feel like I have to preface every song because I'm afraid you'll judge me
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
The cat in question
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Crash (1996) dir. David Cronenberg
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Oh my god … she was right
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@ameliaelizalde
amelia elizalde
2 years
this guy —> 😵‍💫 is disgusting. what is he so hypnotized by? a woman’s butt and boobs??
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I just got broken up with and you came over to keep me company
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Personally I would condemn white supremacy, if asked.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
1 year
The White Lotus thought I wouldn’t recognize Lord Cutler Beckett. They underestimated me.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
The humor in old-timey literature sucks. Someone says "hunting for pheasant at this hour? why, a de-frocked vicar would have more sense in his little finger!" and the whole drawing room cracks up. Give me a break.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
We love it when Girls Clown On Amar, I guess
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
“Latrine” could have been the most beautiful name in the world. What a waste.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Most people only have to hear "He Is Risen" on Easter, but if you're the youngest in a big family, you hear it any time you're even slightly late coming down for breakfast. And I'll say it: the tone is worse than anything Jesus ever had to deal with.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I'll kick the Devil's ass for scaring my Catholic friends
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
is oatly okay?
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
6 years
@celestrogen Exhibit A: Filter Feeding Exhibit B: Reproduction Via Budding Exhibit C: Regeneration
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
If anyone wants to meet the Legend herself:
@tessibwe
boring woman
4 years
Thank u nice compliment
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I have a cousin with big "trying to outwit the magician instead of just enjoying the fucking show" energy. Does this make sense
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
6 years
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
An old-timey explorer with a bushy mustache and a safari hat raising his eyebrows at a girl’s Tinder bio that says “always down for an adventure :)”
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
@POTUS
President Biden
3 years
Another week in the books.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
POV: you are my poor OkCupid match and you just asked what you think is going to be a fun icebreaker
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
was Jesus not God's "felt cute might delete later"?
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
@SwickNickerson Okay this one hurt
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Cole Slaw implies the existence of Dylan Slaw. I am not going to search whether someone has done this already.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Like a knife through the heart
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Every guy with slightly longer quarantine hair is turning into a progressive trailblazer
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I have a date tomorrow and it's *possible* that she's taller than me. My shortness is not a problem, I am beautiful, love knows no height. And so I repeat my favorite affirmation: I will NOT make a mountain out of a molehill, I AM the molehill that makes out with the mountain.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
you ever have this kind of boss
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
the boat said suez canal es miez canal
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
1 year
I am researching immune support supplements
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
what do I have to do to get 1000 followers. what do you people want from me. when have I not danced when you, the howling masses, say "dance"? when have I not spun around when you, the screeching unwashed hordes, say "let's get a look at that figure"? 852. what a god-damned joke.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 months
Kate is pictured leaving Windsor Castle with William
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@MailOnline
Daily Mail Online
2 months
Kate is pictured leaving Windsor Castle with William
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I'm apologizing to you but it's way worse than the original mistake
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Even numbers are childish. “4”. Give me a break.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
god I don't know dude. when did tweeting become homework and when did we all agree to it
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
In 8th grade my class went to DC and I tried to leave a penny at the base of the Lincoln Memorial (not remotely a tradition) but I was holding a Big Gulp and spilled ice all over the steps. I ran away and cried by the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. But they won't teach you that.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
what do you mean
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
1 year
I am unethically monogamous (my only partner and I are terrible people)
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Big news my dad and my nephew are getting some important work done
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
you sit down with an insect you won't hear the end of how they have lymph instead of blood - like, that's not a personality dude!
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
The worst part is they’re calling it “HE’S NONE THIS” :/
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
3 years
A major COVID-19 testing site in Los Angeles has been temporarily closed so they can film Addison Rae’s gender-swapped ‘SHE’S ALL THAT’ reboot. (via: @KtownforAll )
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
It’s come to my attention that people think my bio is a joke. I really am a grad student at UChicago, and I really am studying cuttlefish camouflage. If anything “comedian” is more of a stretch.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
humpty dumpy shouldn’t have sat on a wall. he is an egg.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Waldo’s fit sucks. I don’t want to know where he is.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
had to put out a lil disclaimer before my party last night
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Not seeing many people talk about this ...
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
@haaniyah_ my god ... that’s it
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Identical vibes
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
"7/11 not 9/11" - me correcting somebody about what the store 7/11 is actually called, because they made an honest mistake
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
The poster for every show about 20-somethings navigating sex, love, and - well - life
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
every character in an action movie named like Tank or Wrench or something
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
I'm on my way somewhere and I have to think of something normal to say as we pass each other
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
I don’t understand how people describe suspects to police sketch artists. The most I’d be able to say confidently is “well, he was sort of your classic Guy”
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Hey everyone, my martial arts instructor has been having a really rough time lately, dealing with health problems, police harassment, and housing insecurity. Please donate and share widely if you are able, and read about him below!
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
is this the kind of inseam you girls are looking for 🤤
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Lizzie McGuire’s Dad
@KFILE
Andy Kaczynski
2 years
Gavin Newsom no hair gel gives off entirely different vibes. (2006)
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
@disc4prez Seriously does anyone know about a place
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Finally. Support.
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@calebsaysthings
caleb hearon
2 years
fuck cherry tomatoes and their stans. get them out of here.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
A praying mantis in the UChicago quad, had no idea he was there until my advisor pointed him out. One of my favorite things about camouflage is how stupid it makes you feel afterwards, like looking back on an ex.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Twitter took it down for some reason, so here, once again, is as much of my magnum opus as I'm allowed to show you:
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
my dad just sent me this. humbling.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
you can't legally ban a hospital from Twitter, jsyk
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
@NILES100 patients and stoners ... the two genders
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
They said the Queen is pronounced dead. Actually, it is pronounced “Queen”
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
If they looked at me like this I would break the law of conservation of mass and simply disappear from this universe.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Me not having sex in high school (and for many years after) was a deliberate choice, let's say
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Messy Plemons.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Using a blaccent in my apology video for sexism
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
using your friend's shower when you're staying over at their place
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
Who remembers Bop-Its?? 🤔
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bummer without b
3 years
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
While you're all here, please donate for Daunte Wright's family if you are able:
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
Books are so good I really like them! any ladies seeing this
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
we have prescribed the president Cigarettes
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
"See, the Three Taco Bell Sauces are legitimate because each level does not simply rewrite the level previous, but *evolves* it. We cannot therefore take Diablo to be Canon, since the wildly different consistency and flavor disregards its predecessor."
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
1 year
Who is “Matt”
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
Amelia Earhart's like "I know a spot" and then
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
this is the only good thing. everything else can eat shit
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
2 years
My dad went in to get x-rays for an upcoming spine surgery and found out he was born with one fewer pair of ribs than he should have been. Nobody is allowed to make The Joke. That’s my dad.
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
I don't know why I'm trying to put on a pretense - it's my birthday and I would like attention
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
4 years
fruit leather implies the existence of Fruit Beef
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
What better medium than sand? Kull wahad! #Dune
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@bummer_no_b
bummer without b
3 years
a thing that I know: NYE stands for "New Year’s Eve" my idiot brain whenever it sees "NYE": ah, New York Eity
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