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niles

@NILES100

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39,274
Following
2,490
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Statuses
69,086

stand up comedian but a movie star on the side • @daveonfxx S3 writer • watch my comedy specials

Los Angeles, CA
Joined May 2009
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@NILES100
niles
1 month
17 minutes of my HBO special that's not on HBO
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
ok but why did the downfall of civilization have to happen during MY 20’s though
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
if kaepernick kneeling made you uncomfortable, hate to break it to ya but you wouldn't have liked this mlk guy
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
every girl texting her man “if somebody made fun of me at the Oscar’s would you slap them??”
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
I know kim happy she don’t have to wear them hunger games clothes no more
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
shaq do commercials like he in debt
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
well I hope longtime isn’t any longer than 5 years
@PageSix
Page Six
2 years
Dane Cook, 50, engaged to longtime love Kelsi Taylor, 23
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
this is disrespectful as fuck. George Floyd was murdered. It wasn’t a “cultural moment”
@CNN
CNN
3 years
The cultural moments that defined 2020 via @cnnstyle
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
one day in the near future there’s going to be a landmark court case where someone is going to sue their parents for using them for internet content when they were a baby/small child. they’re going to win and then droves are going to fall in line and sue as well. so good luck
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
great. a white dude that’s gonna say “let me play devil’s advocate” before he shoots me
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
the police defunding us
@SmileItsNathan
Nathan Howard
3 years
Well that's a statistic.
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
our generation won’t just take getting treated like shit at work and these old mfs hate it 😭
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
john legend probably sit in the car outside in the driveway for 30 minutes before he come home
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
one of my friends was an extra on the godzilla v kong movie and they said the two of them are actually good friends and were cracking jokes in between the fight scenes on set
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@NILES100
niles
4 years
us: we’re starving and can’t pay our rent celebrities: vote ❤️
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
I know who not playing MLK
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
7 months
A Martin Luther King Jr biopic is in the works with Chris Rock set to direct. (Source: Deadline)
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
i'm glad they let Black ppl write/direct blockbuster movies now bc a nigga with a mean right hook that hates you and been locked up in prison for 20 years just listening to nipsey hussle and working out is probably one of the scariest villains of all time lmfaooo
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
FREE EVERYBODY LOCKED UP ON A WEED CHARGE
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
this disney channel original movie ass photo
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@NILES100
niles
3 months
you should go to prison for making explicit AI photos of someone
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@NILES100
niles
8 months
back in January I had a meeting up at adam sandler’s office with some of his execs and about 10 minutes into the meeting he popped his head in and i yelled “OH SHIT” bc I had no idea he’d be there and the whole room busted out laughing. then adam came in and gave me a hug, told…
@gothamhiphop
Joey
8 months
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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@NILES100
niles
11 months
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@HermaineM
Hermaine M
11 months
Kanye West with his Wife “Bianca” 😳
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
can yall stop being racist so we can do something about capitalism
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
as soon as i get on I’m getting at a famous rapper’s girl bc this is the best free comedy special promo of all time wow
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
if tom brady win they gone storm the capital again 😭
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
lol I really need to know what amy schumer did for the Black community besides make comedy specials so bad that Mo’Nique won a lawsuit against Netflix that they weren’t paying her enough
@GianmarcoSoresi
gianmarco
7 months
This shit is insane! INSANE!!!!!
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@NILES100
niles
5 months
why aren’t alcohol companies pushing for better public transportation in America? yall would make so much more money lol
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@NILES100
niles
4 years
who’s a white character on a tv show that you love but know would be a Trump supporter in real life? Mine’s Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lignts.
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
lol Killmonger shot a lady in the face in the first act
@MarveIFacts
Marvel Facts
2 years
Michael B. Jordan says Killmonger wasn't a villain 'He cared about his people just as much as T'Challa ... He just had a different way of going about getting it done' (via @BleacherReport )
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
don’t ever let a broke comedian host the Oscar’s because i woulda fell down and made a scene to get a piece of that wild wild west money for the rest of my life
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@NILES100
niles
17 days
kanye and drake always gonna hate each other because they want to BE each other. drake wants to be seen as an innovative pioneering artist and kanye wants to be white.
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
this a sext
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
white dudes get to make 4 hour movies, movies that “you might have to watch twice to get it”, movies with Mel gibson in it and the rest of us don’t make it past the part where we get notes like “why does the main character have to be Black”
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
when the menu look like this you know the food bout to be good
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
what i tell y’all???
@AP
The Associated Press
1 year
After watching the women's NCAA basketball championship from the stands, Jill Biden says she wants Caitlin Clark and Iowa to join victorious LSU at the White House.
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@NILES100
niles
2 months
beat they ass marty
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@NILES100
niles
4 months
since the jeffersons???? y'all racist bruh
@SpencerAlthouse
Spencer Althouse
4 months
Quinta Brunson just became the second Black actress in Emmys history to win Lead in the Comedy category, 42 years after Isabel Sanford won for The Jefferson. Icon!!! Here’s her tearful speech:
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
Batman about to come beat they ass
@AnOtherMagazine
AnOther Magazine
7 months
Erykah Badu and Usher front row at Marni
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@NILES100
niles
6 months
I love white on white crime
@aramnotagoat
aram
6 months
i’m not sure i would be able to show my face again if someone did this to me
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
non Black ppl: how do y’all search for niggas in Paris when you want to play it on Spotify? 🤔
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@NILES100
niles
5 months
I’m sellin weed outside fasho
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
man what the fuck has dave chappelle turned into
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@NILES100
niles
2 months
the director of the “genocide is bad” film is getting in trouble for saying “genocide is bad” in his acceptance speech. throw this industry in the trash
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
actually i think ppl who do blackface don’t deserve electricity
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
the craziest thing I’ve learned from delivering food in LA is finding out how i tip way more than rich ppl. i feel stupid
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
my man fake laughing at tyler perry at movie premiers. he really made it 🥹
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
bc the crimes he committed weren't over here
@GirlOnFireSally
Sally Carter ✨
1 year
Just wonna point out that My President was not charged with 34 Felonies We keep good vibes over here 😎
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
ppl in relationships should get the vaccine last fuck y’all
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
we roasting y’all cringey liberal tweets in the group chat
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
trump & hilary had “we used to fuck” energy at the debates but we don’t have to talk about it
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
no seinfeld episode has ever started off this good
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@NILES100
niles
27 days
the funniest way to watch Anaconda is to pretend Ice Cube is playing Craig from Friday again and he finally got a job but it’s working as a cameraman for a documentary
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@NILES100
niles
5 months
he just be saying cool shit for the documentary at this point lmao
@BleacherReport
Bleacher Report
5 months
"Everyone says [Father Time] is undefeated. ... I'm trying to give him one loss" Bron knew he was about to drop a bar 😂
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
an old white dude said my screenplay sucked and was for the "generation raised on youtube" so that must mean it's really good
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@NILES100
niles
8 months
I fr thought burning man was a music festival
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
today is officially my 26th birthday. which means my frontal lobe is completely developed. ladies who want me
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@NILES100
niles
10 months
This is like when the cultural phenomenon “Get Out” (2017) made $$$ and then we got a bunch of really bad psychological thrillers that deal with social issues
@Variety
Variety
10 months
Lily Collins is set to star as Polly Pocket in a film directed by Lena Dunham. The head of Mattel Films confirms the script is in — and it’s “great.”
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
it’s become normal to tell ppl that they need “7 streams of income” do y’all get how insane that is???
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
having to sit back and watch the same 9/11 propaganda tactics be used and be successful is making me go insane
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
never flying overnight ever again. waking up with morning wood around 40 strangers ain’t it
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
mission trips be like
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@NILES100
niles
1 month
one of the last real rappers left
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
MY COUSIN BECAME MAYOR OF HIS HOMETOWN LAST NIGHT AT 23 LMFAOOO WE UP
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
@jasminericegirl lol i hate them so much. “mama lets research” is the most condescending shit
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
no one: 50 year old comedian to sold out arena: they won’t let me say ANYTHING ANYMORE
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@NILES100
niles
2 months
alright nigga damn!!! I’ll watch the fuckin movie just please stop!!!
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
2 months
Bradley Cooper says he is comfortable walking around naked at home because his dad was “always nude”: “My dad was always nude, and always took showers with him.”
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@NILES100
niles
10 months
nvm y’all don’t need to come see me perform bc this the funniest shit to ever exist
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
some of you losers danced in the streets when joe biden got elected lol and don’t lie it’s still up on instagram a few rows up from your black square
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
why the hell was michael jackson singing like he had been divorced twice at the age of 6
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
@bennyjohnson I’m way better. y’all tap in
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@NILES100
niles
9 months
so is Jennifer Aniston gonna post about Bradley Cooper too or
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
@avantnard Kim ain’t seen a primary color in a decade
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@NILES100
niles
11 months
jesse armstrong and bill hader started in sketch comedy so now i'm wondering what will tim robinson's fucked up and serious award winning show be in 10 years
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@NILES100
niles
8 months
tired of yall making fun of white ppl for enjoying Taylor Swift when you should be taking advantage of the fact she can distract 50,000 of them in your city for 3 hours. rob them!!!
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
bro get some good pics so she not looking dumb when her friend asks her what you look like
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@NILES100
niles
1 year
taylor swift dating a racist dude is kind of dope. I love when artists try to relate more to their fan base
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@NILES100
niles
1 month
🍅🍅🍅 I did this in 2019
@sexhaver2001
Walter (clart)
1 month
the way my jaw dropped to the floor
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@NILES100
niles
1 month
somebody sent his grandma the video
@LegionHoops
Legion Hoops
1 month
Kelly Oubre Jr. after his outburst in last night's game: "I try to represent God in the best way I possibly can, and that wasn’t it." (via @PHLY_Sixers )
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
“both sides” you need both sides of yo ass kicked
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@NILES100
niles
11 months
dave chappelle yelling "i'm team terf" on stage is still top 3 lamest shit ever said in a comedy special and chris d'elia exists
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@NILES100
niles
30 days
all the “he’s 40 and wants peace” shit is stupid. every verse of his for the last few years has been “I’m the best and I’m killin these other rappers” and another nigga who thinks he’s better dissed him lol I’m tired of this fake deep shit yall be doing with this man
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
babies used for internet content gonna get reparations before Black ppl will lmfaoooo
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@NILES100
niles
8 months
@AndieIsOnline not to his face 💀
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@NILES100
niles
30 days
the next joe budden podcast episode might make him a billionaire
@ComplexMusic
Complex Music
30 days
J. Cole addresses beef with Kendrick Lamar and speaks on the making of "7 Minute Drill" at Dreamville Fest: "I felt conflicted 'cause I'm like, bruh I know I don't really feel a way. But the world wanna see blood... so I say all of that to say, in my spirit of trying to get this…
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@NILES100
niles
2 months
jonathan majors got this on his dash
@AfricanArchives
AFRICAN & BLACK HISTORY
2 months
Dr. Betty Shabazz, Ms. Coretta Scott King and Ms. Myrlie Evers.
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
so did ppl just collectively stop giving a fuck about this chris d’elia shit or am I like missing something?? or is it just that same old “desperate comedians will cozy up next to anyone if they think they can get an opportunity out of it” thing?
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
period sex wild y’all just be chillin and then boom ya room smell like the ER now
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
@omarisoftwick he gone get shot at the motel and then pop back up “HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE YALL THOUGHT I WAS FINISHED”
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@NILES100
niles
2 years
lol nah I’m assuming everything about a mf in a blue lives matter shirt
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@sydney_sweeney
Sydney Sweeney
2 years
You guys this is wild. An innocent celebration for my moms milestone 60th birthday has turned into an absurd political statement, which was not the intention. Please stop making assumptions. Much love to everyone ♥️ and Happy Birthday Mom!
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
as of today I am officially a professional writer (I have not been hired or paid to write anything I’m just deciding I am today)
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
when i was a kid this older man told me eating salad was gay. he's dead.
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
i feel like alot of rich stand up comedians forget how to take an L. it's literally how you got funny, you make fun of your L's. PC culture isn't ruining your comedy. You're just out of touch
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@NILES100
niles
10 months
glad someone as famous as him said it bc it’s tv writers out here applying for food stamps and having to leave LA but you got famous directors/actors trying to do everything possible to toe the line which doesn’t help negotiations at all
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
10 months
Bob Odenkirk responds to certain stars wanting SAG waivers to allow them to promote their films. “Don’t. It’s a strike. Strike. You lose. We lose. Everybody loses. That’s tough shit.” (Source: )
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
hey this is your sign to not quit whatever you’re passionate about. a lot of these mfs ahead of you suck, they parents just rich
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@NILES100
niles
2 months
I haven’t sold a script yet bc I’m terrible in pitches bc telling execs “real niggas gone fuck with it i promise” apparently isn’t professional
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@NILES100
niles
3 months
holy shit every weird man on this app needs to watch this movie
@NILES100
niles
3 months
I think I’m gonna watch this for the first time tonight
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
I don’t give 2 fucks if I’m only the Black person you come in contact with. That’s your problem. I’m not living my life to “represent Black ppl” or in a way that makes white ppl comfortable. If something one Black person does changes your perception of a whole race, you’re racist
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
this mf trying to die hard
@nypost
New York Post
3 years
Bruce Willis asked to leave pharmacy for refusing to wear a mask
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
wait hold on 😭 imagine being so bad at your job that someone else can use your work as a court evidence to sue the company y’all both do work for that they should be getting paid a lot more. couldn’t be me
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@NILES100
niles
7 months
if kendrick real then he need to diss both of them light skin niggas “there ain’t no fuckin big 3” but he’s not
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@NILES100
niles
3 years
idk who olivia rodrigo is but she got y’all posting high school L’s
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