Just pour the scalding coffee into my cupped hands, please

There’s nothing like a good game of Monopoly to bring the family together…

"I said Nigel Farage is defending fox hunting because it's an important rural tradition. What did I say Roy?" "You said he's likes torturing animals because he's a cunt"

Farage has not one single fucking Policy that will benefit the Working Class, but Brits will vote for him anyway, Because There's Nothing they love more than Crawling on their fucking Belly for a Posh cunt with Conviction.

I persuaded millions of gullible people that Brexit would improve their lives! When that turned out to be disastrous I didn’t emigrate, as I promised to do. I simply persuaded those very same gullible people that voting for me would improve their lives!

"YOU THERE BOY, WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT?"

You don't know what day it is. You're eating countless meals a day with lots of snacks in between. You're napping throughout they day. Either it's the time between Christmas and New Year or you're a cat.

@Brunte84 @Nigel_Farage Farage prefers whisky and cigars. He only drinks pints in pubs to dupe people like you that he's one of the proletariat. 😂😂😂 In fact he's a public school millionaire in the pockets of other millionaires and billionaires who don't care about the good of the UK.

Today we celebrate Boxing Day in the UK, so named because cats spend the day exploring empty boxes discarded from Christmas Day https://t.co/RsiKfhYePN

My wife Bunty and I would like to wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS unless of course you are: Ben Duckett Bearded Tattooed Claiming benefits A wrap music singer A plumber A cyclist Currently on Mumsnet A wearer of cropped shorts From Kidderminster. Yes I have been on the sherry. 🥴

this year, I'm giving all my Christmas gifts to the richest child in the neighborhood. I'm sure they'll trickle down to all the other kids eventually

My Christmas reading: "..for I was hungry and you told me to make a meal for 30p, I was a stranger and you said "Go back where you came from". I was sick and you said we should replace the NHS with private health insurance..."

"Hello. C from Westminster here. Ha ha, just a little joke."

"AND I'D DO IT AGAIN"

@PolitlcsUK All the groups of people shown in this carefully crafted propaganda ad will be thoroughly screwed should he ever get anywhere near power.

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are fully grown adults who believe that Nigel Farage cares about them.

“and you, how do you sign your emails?” “Don’t tell him A from Balmoral”

"'A from Balmoral' ... who the deuce do you think it could be, Holmes?"

"Oh ha ha, very fucking funny"

https://t.co/kGnFykAUGB